Deccie Must Die Quotes

“illogical people are dangerous people.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“It’s in the paper. They’re not allowed to print it if it isn’t true. Everybody knows that.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“David Phillips gave her a startled look, like a dog who’d just realised why the vet was wearing a glove.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Who I should have gone for,” continued Deccie, “is Lassie or, ideally, Mr Ed. I mean, Lassie is a bona fide tracker who can bite your leg, but Mr Ed could talk, and I don’t care who you are – if a talking horse corners you and starts asking questions, you’re going to crack and confess.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“It was an example of why Jimmy Stewart had always told his kids to tell the truth in life – not for strong moral reasons, per se, it was just that in the long run, the possibilities for embarrassment when getting caught out by your own lie were far worse than the truth could ever be.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“He’s older than your dad.” “Only in human years. Not in movie-star years.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“The problem with the human brain, thought Brigit, is that you couldn’t stop the bloody thing from thinking. In particular, you couldn’t stop it thinking certain thoughts even if you really, really didn’t want to be a person who thought those thoughts.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Just as lockdown finished, he’d had his accident and ended up stuck inside for a whole different bunch of reasons. He’d completed Netflix, he was certain of it. He’d seen every last thing on there. He’d watched it in all languages, too. For a couple of days the week before, he’d become convinced he could actually speak Korean.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Before last night, Deccie, like everyone else in Ireland, had slagged off Bono. Damn bleeding-heart do-gooder. Tax-dodging so-and-so. He didn’t do enough; he did too much. The new music was shite; the old music was shite. The new way they played the old music was shite. Say what you wanted about the fella, he provided an invaluable service in being somebody everybody could hate, even if it was for reasons that were diametrically opposed.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Oh God, said both voices, I really wish he hadn’t done that.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Yeah. We even organised a group discount on gorilla suits. They’re cheaper to buy than to rent. The costume-rental business is an absolute capitalist clusterfuck, designed to deny the proletariat ownership of—” “OK, OK,” interrupted Brigit. “Keep it in your pants, Comrade King Kong.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“You are kidding?” “Do I look like I’m kidding?” “Again, with apologies to your plastic surgeon, it is literally impossible to tell.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“Phillips gave her a startled look, like a dog who’d just realised why the vet was wearing a glove.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die

“He’s started making his own dance music,” interjected Phil. “It’s like listening to a washing machine having a heart attack.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Deccie Must Die