How to Win Friends and Influence People Quotes

“We like to be consulted about our wishes”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness and there is one sure way to find it: by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“The best way to motivate someone to do something for you is to show how it would benefit them, as well.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“PRINCIPLE 1 Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation. PRINCIPLE 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.” That is Al Capone speaking. Yes, America’s most notorious Public Enemy—the most sinister gang leader who ever shot up Chicago. Capone did not condemn himself. He actually regarded himself as a public benefactor—an unappreciated and misunderstood public benefactor.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle—if”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“while there are tactful ways to say what you want, there is one three-letter word that destroys that intention: the word “but.” It is poison. It delivers criticism in the guise of a compliment and subtly cloaks the true meaning of a statement.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Learning to listen is even more vital when it comes to our family, but sadly, we seem more inclined to listen attentively to a stranger than to a loved one.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire… and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” Andrew Carnegie,”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Yes, of course,” he replied, “Hamlet, Act Five, Scene Two. But we were guests at a festive occasion, my dear Dale. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Someone who put this philosophy into action brilliantly was a fourth-grade teacher from Brooklyn, New York, Mrs. Ruth Hopkins. On the first day of school, she looked at her class roster with the excitement and pleasure of starting a new term. But as she went down the list of students, her heart sank. In her class this year she would have “Terrible Tommy,” the school’s most notorious “bad boy.” His last teacher had constantly complained about him to colleagues, the principal, and anyone else who would listen—to no avail. Tommy was not just mischievous; he caused serious discipline problems in the class. He picked fights with other students, was fresh to the teacher, and seemed to grow worse as he got older. His only redeeming feature was his ability to learn and master the schoolwork easily. Mrs. Hopkins decided to face the “Tommy problem” immediately. When she greeted her new students, she made little comments to each of them: “Rose, that’s a pretty dress you’re wearing,” “Alicia, I hear you draw beautifully.” When she came to Tommy, she looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Tommy, I understand you are a natural leader. I’m going to depend on you to help me make this class the best one in the whole fourth grade this year.” She reinforced this over the first few days by complimenting everything he did, and commenting on how this or that showed what a smart, talented boy he was. With that reputation to live up to, even a nine-year-old couldn’t let her down—and he didn’t.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“IN A NUTSHELL NINE WAYS TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE OR AROUSING RESENTMENT PRINCIPLE 1 Begin with praise and honest appreciation. PRINCIPLE 2 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. PRINCIPLE 3 Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. PRINCIPLE 4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. PRINCIPLE 5 Let the other person save face. PRINCIPLE 6 Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” PRINCIPLE 7 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. PRINCIPLE 8 Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. PRINCIPLE 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“The big boss was in here today,” the day people said. “He asked us how many heats we made, and we told him six. He chalked it down on the floor.” The next morning Schwab walked through the mill again. The night shift had rubbed out “6” and replaced it with a big “7.” When the day shift reported for work that morning, they saw a big “7” chalked on the floor. So the night shift thought they were better than the day shift, did they? Well, they would show the night shift a thing or two. The crew pitched in with enthusiasm, and when they quit that night, they left behind them an enormous, swaggering “10.” Things were stepping up. Shortly, this mill, which had been lagging way behind in production, was turning out more work than any other mill in the plant. The principle? Let Charles Schwab say it in his own words: “The way to get things done,” says Schwab, “is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Two thousand years ago, Jesus said: “Agree with thine adversary quickly.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“I made it a rule,” wrote Franklin, “to forbear all direct contradiction to the sentiment of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fix’d opinion, such as ‘certainly,’ ‘undoubtedly,’ etc., and I adopted, instead of them, ‘I conceive,’ ‘I apprehend,’ or ‘I imagine’ a thing to be so or so, or ‘it so appears to me at present.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“I may be wrong. Let’s examine the facts.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other person and shoot their argument full of holes and prove that they are non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about them? You have made them feel inferior. You have hurt their pride. They will resent your triumph. And— A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Talk to a man about himself,” said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire, “and he will listen for hours.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“When she asked him his recipe for making these women fall in love with him, he said it was no trick at all: All you had to do was to talk to a woman about herself.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you,” “Would you be so kind as to ———?” “Won’t you please?” “Would you mind?” “Thank you”: Little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life—and, incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“It is as old as history. Zoroaster taught it to his followers in Persia twenty-five hundred years ago. Confucius preached it in China twenty-four centuries ago. Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, taught it to his disciples in the Valley of the Han. Buddha preached it on the banks of the Holy Ganges five hundred years before Christ. The sacred books of Hinduism taught it a thousand years before that. Jesus, who taught it among the stony hills of Judea nineteen centuries ago, summed it up in one thought—probably the most important rule in the world: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“PRINCIPLE 3 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“Years later, he made millions by using the same psychology in business. For example, he wanted to sell steel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad. J. Edgar Thomson was the president of the Pennsylvania Railroad then. So Carnegie built a huge steel mill in Pittsburgh and called it the “Edgar Thomson Steel Works.” Now I will ask you a question: When the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do you suppose J. Edgar Thomson bought them?”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl, or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“grouch—and only recently changed his mind. He said I was really human when I smiled. “I have also eliminated criticism from my system. I give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation. I have stopped talking about what I want. I am now trying to see the other person’s viewpoint. And these things have literally revolutionized my life.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders

“A long time ago, a hundred years before Christ was born, a Roman poet, Publilius Syrus, remarked: “We are interested in others when they are interested in us.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders