A Catalogue of Catastrophe Quotes

“Seriously – have you seen the sort of people who think they qualify for heaven? The thought of spending eternity with that lot . . . This was definitely not good.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“there was the smell of a three-day-dead goat giving up its final fart.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“My margarita-laden mind was struggling to cope. ‘We are History’s instruments,’ Markham cried, dramatically. ‘Tools, more like,’ I said. ‘We are the Tools of History.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Everyone in the building was pleasant and friendly and helpful. They had to be the nicest, politest, most inclusive sinister organisation up to no good in the whole history of sinister organisations up to no good.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“We traipsed back in again to inspect the damage. At least, Pennyroyal and Markham inspected the damage; Smallhope searched the prisoners and I put the kettle on. We all have our own areas of expertise.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“when they still had a Bill of Rights,”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Don’t tell Chicken Licken.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Seriously?’ I said, quite delighted. I was being arrested for crimes against the very legislation designed to make History safe for historians. Thank you, Professor Hawking, the patron saint of time travellers everywhere. And possibly I was a little punch-drunk as well. Show me one single person who’s ever been arrested three times in thirty minutes. And all by different people for different crimes in different times. Am I a legend or what? Three times, people.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Shitting Harry. Was I dead and they’d sent me to heaven and I was going to have to spend the rest of eternity sitting on a cloud listening to harp music and being nice to people?”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“And suddenly I was back. I knew where I was. I was standing in a foggy street in 17th-century London with a bloody and near unconscious Markham draped around me, black treason was abroad, and I couldn’t find the pod. Just a normal day at work, really.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“But we had the technology. We could rebuild.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“I could hear men shouting orders. Followed by a thousand voices raised in some sort of battle cry. I couldn’t make out the words but likely it was a demand that God strengthen their sword arms and sow confusion in the enemy ranks. To me it sounded like the medieval equivalent of, ‘Oggy, Oggy, Oggy – Oi, Oi, Oi.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“The removal of Nicola de la Haye might also affect the outcome of the siege.’ In the dark days when most women went unnoticed and were barred from education or public office, Nicola de la Haye shone like a star. Inheriting the position of Constable of Lincoln Castle from her father, she so impressed King John that he made her Sheriff of Lincolnshire in 1216. It would be very fair to say that without her leadership, Lincoln Castle would have fallen. And England, too.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Echoes of Clause 39 can be found all over the world, even in the American Bill of Rights – when they still had a Bill of Rights, of course.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“Actually, Markham wasn’t a bad cook. No need to tell him that, either. In fact, he was turning out to be quite a domestic goddess. You can tell him that.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“044 – which is England –”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe

“I swung my legs out of bed, pulled jeans and a sweatshirt over my pyjamas, jammed my feet into trainers, and had a quick look at what he’d left me. Night visor, blaster, handgun, stun gun. It would seem something fairly dangerous threatened. Jehovah’s Witnesses, perhaps.”
― Jodi Taylor, A Catalogue of Catastrophe