The Patient's Secret Quotes

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“People live in the six inches of real estate between their ears—in that three pounds of fat and protein that is the human brain. They live inside their heads. That’s where reality resides. That’s where every single human constructs an individual narrative of their life. That’s where they tell themselves who they are, and what they can and can’t be. And no person’s reality can ever be the same as anyone else’s. The notion that there is one objective truth out there—that’s the biggest illusion of all.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“We all need a mask in order to function. But wear the mask too long and we forget who really lives behind it. Right? We forget our authentic selves.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“make a choice to change the narrative, to overwrite the patterns of history. That a person does not have to be defined by the past. Or by genetics. People can change.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“That’s all everyone wants—to be loved. To belong. To be forgiven for their sins.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Release what no longer serves you.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Having children is a hopeful, redemptive act. It’s not only a literal reinvention of oneself, it’s a way to reshape the idea of one’s self.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“People live in the six inches of real estate between their ears—in that three pounds of fat and protein that is the human brain. They live inside their heads. That’s where reality resides. That’s where every single human constructs an individual narrative of their life. That’s where they tell themselves who they are, and what they can and can’t be. And no person’s reality can ever be the same as anyone else’s. The notion that”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“concept of who I am as a good person, a guy who saves people from fires and cuts them out of mangled car wrecks on the highway, the guy who volunteers to drive animals to the vet for shelters—all that vanishes. All they see is a violent man. A dangerous man. A heinous monster. But if they don’t know what I did, then I can forget that part of myself ever existed. I can pretend that the sick fuck of the past was actually someone else entirely. I can bury him in my unconscious like a high-functioning serial killer who can compartmentalize the horror inside. That is the only way people can change. When no one forces them to wear a label. When society doesn’t keep reminding them they are not who they are trying to be.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Her goal in life is to help others cope with mental adversity, to show that one does not have to be irreparably destroyed by horrific actions of the past. Her goal, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, is to show, again and again, that a person can make a choice to change the narrative, to overwrite the patterns of history. That a person does not have to be defined by the past. Or by genetics. People can change.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“People live in the six inches of real estate between their ears—in that three pounds of fat and protein that is the human brain. They live inside their heads. That’s where reality resides.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“We all need a mask in order to function. But wear the mask too long and we forget who really lives behind it. Right? We forget our authentic selves.” Lily shifts in her chair, increasingly uncomfortable with this talk on the back of her session with Garth.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“got treatment. I worked hard—I did the work. I got well again, Arwen. I was a child. Twelve. I was confused, unwell, and I’d come under the spell of a twisted, Charles Manson–like young man. A Paul Bernardo.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“I am virtuous. Kind. In control. That I am attractive enough to my husband so he won’t stray. That I am good in bed—a whore behind closed doors. That I eat right and have my weight and carbs under control. That I am an accomplished businesswoman and also bake nice cookies and volunteer at my kids’ school and take my kids to swimming lessons and make sure they understand their faith.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“As she held her new baby in her arms, it had hit hard—it was the first time in her life she was looking at family who looked like her. And it made her think that there were more people out there of her blood. Her curiosity grew intense.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“You might have compassion fatigue, letting everyone dump on you all day. I bet you need a break—everyone else’s trauma is getting to you. There’s only so much a person can take in.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Most of her mom’s friends are things like therapists, or lawyers, or doctors, or they own businesses like wool shops or coffee shops, or they’re stay-home moms who hover over their kids and go to yoga and to the spa for deep tissue massages and mani-pedis. None of them would ever wait on a table.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“People live in the six inches of real estate between their ears—in that three pounds of fat and protein that is the human brain. They live inside their heads. That’s where reality resides. That’s where every single human constructs an individual narrative of their life. That’s where they tell themselves who they are, and what they can and can’t be. And no person’s reality can ever be the same as anyone else’s.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“The Britishness oozes from the quaint pubs, from the fish and chips and pie shops, the afternoon tea with scones and clotted cream sold in cafés. It can be heard in the crack of cricket bats on the lawns of the Windsor Country Club, where rugby is also played by the men of the neighborhood, and where the cost of a membership could feed a small country.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“The Jogger Killer is currently terrorizing women who are now too scared to go out running alone. And Rulandi Duval is a pit bull with a chip on her shoulder. She’s a woman in a position of power in a traditionally male environment, and she’s got something to prove. You and Tom also ooze privilege. You live in Story Cove. You own a boat. It’s moored at an exclusive marina. You belong to a country club.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, it also holds true that nothing is more terrifying than to be divested of a crutch.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Rapacious.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Tudor”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“ebullience.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Sometimes people are good people, they just aren’t good for each other, you know?”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“normalcy.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“And the more you watch someone, the more you begin to see how hard they are working to hide the dark secrets that drive them.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“And all marriages have their secrets.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Maybe that’s the problem—wearing a mask so long you are no longer aware you’re even wearing it.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret

“Society as a whole doesn’t allow you to change if you’ve done something terrible, does it? There will always be reminders, individuals who cannot forgive, who refuse to let go, who want to pull you back and stamp it like some indelible scarlet letter into the center of your forehead. So others will see you coming, and know that you must forever be judged and punished.”
― Loreth Anne White, The Patient's Secret