The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook Quotes

“There are some pretty weird ones, though. There’s a guy here who is a mushroom. Why would you turn yourself into a mushroom? He looks like a penis. Like one of those weird ones that’s really wide and short. My boyfriend before my Barry had a dick like that. It smelled like mushrooms, too.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“There are some pretty weird ones, though. There’s a guy here who is a mushroom. Why would you turn yourself into a mushroom? He looks like a penis.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Donut: DON’T EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN. I THOUGHT YOU’D BEEN SQUISHED.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“What’s a prime number?” Donut asked, speaking for the first time. “It’s a math thing,” I said. “You learn about them in fourth or fifth grade, and then you don’t need to know about it ever again unless you become a mathematician. Or a math teacher.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“remember”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“These women are oftentimes referred to as “roasties.” A roastie is common human parlance due to their genitals being irrevocably damaged by multiple sexual partners. These roasties are honored and desired only by the male beta members of society, as evidenced by my recent trip to an Arby’s-themed saferoom.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Maybe it’s just extra fluff to appease the nerds.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“The Babababoon is the king of idiotic chaos. This exclusive mob was created by taking a standard earth baboon and crossing it with the population from a Florida jail drunk tank. Not gonna lie. I’m pretty proud of this one. These guys ruin just about anything we put them in.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Especially since the script included video inserts from several bizarre and random sources, like Fraggle Rock and WKRP in Cincinnati.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“like the interviews better, but I think it’s good for the Princess Posse to get some culture in with their daily Donut fix. Plus they had a video of me and Miss Beatrice winning a show, so that’ll be a bonus for the fans.” “Princess Posse?” I asked. “Zev says that one seems to be winning out, no thanks to you. Some are going with the Donut Holes, which I do not approve of.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“I returned to the train to find Fire Brandy sticking her head out of the door, chatting away with Donut and Katia. “I’m a mother, too,” Donut was saying as I entered the train. “My boy is named Mongo.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Mordecai’s long-ago advice echoed in my head. Look, kid. I want this to sink deep into your thick skull. You can’t save them all.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Donut was also there, sitting upon the back of Mongo. I noticed the new addition to her outfit right away. “Sunglasses, huh?” I said as I stepped off the train. “Aren’t they just to die for!” Donut exclaimed, hopping off the back of Mongo,”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“All my life, I’d felt alone. And now, at the edge of the apocalypse, I finally realized how much I needed other people.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Zev: It’s about beauty pageants. And pet shows. Donut audibly gasped. Donut: WE WILL DO IT. I CAN’T WAIT.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“The Babababoon is the king of idiotic chaos. This exclusive mob was created by taking a standard earth baboon and crossing it with the population from a Florida jail drunk tank. Not gonna lie.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“But part of me is gone. I’m losing myself.” “That’s not true.” I gently tapped her forehead. “Look. The real Katia is still there. They can cut everything else off, but you’re still you. Don’t let them break you. No matter what they do. Okay?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Carl: Now you know how I feel when you type in all caps. Donut: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING, CARL.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Hello, Crawler. As you’re about to find, this is a very special book. If you’re reading these words, it means this book has found its way into your hands for one purpose and one purpose only. Together, we will burn it all to the ground.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“There is no shame in wanting to be alone yet also wanting the comfort and the strength of your brethren. But more importantly, there is no shame in wanting to protect those who are your hive, even if you never knew them. For they are yours, and they are being taken. It is us or it is them. There is consolation in dying in the pursuit of justice, no matter how small or big that death is.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“You need to grow a mohawk,” Donut said to Katia. “And maybe get a catchphrase. That really worked for Carl.” “Goddamnit, Donut,” I said. I regretted it the moment the phrase came out of my mouth.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“This is just like that show, Deal or No Deal,” Donut said.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“He ain’t no dwarf,” Vernon said. “I’ve never actually seen any of ‘em, but based on his voice I think he’s human. Every new run I turn off the speakers in this cabin so I don’t gotta hear his voice. Humans got voices like a spike in my brain.” “Don’t I know it,” Donut said.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“So what I do, miss talking cat, is I sit here and drink until we reach the end of the line. Then I do it again.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“These odd, war-like creatures are said to have once been a star-faring nation, but something happened to cause them to regress back to the stone age. Probably too much reality TV.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“That was it, wasn’t it? Sleep was my sanctuary. No matter how fucked-up the world now was, I could still get away for part of the day. Now, that luxury was being eroded. Sure, our bodies would no longer be tired. But what about our brains? We were already well past burnout. What was going to happen now?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“New Achievement! Cuck Aquaman! You got fucked by a fish. You’ve done something so spectacularly controversial, courts and lawyers had to get involved. The end result was *my* decision being overturned. Reward: You’ve received a Platinum It’s Not My Fault You Fish-Headed Assholes Don’t Properly Program Your Quests Box.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Mole men and mole women actually just call themselves “Men” and “Women,” and quite frankly, it’s exhausting. These losers spend most of their days and nights reading. What a bunch of nerds.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“Madison’s real name was probably something like Jennifer or Ruth, but she had it legally changed to something more trendy right around the same time as her divorce.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

“There is consolation in dying in the pursuit of justice, no matter how small or big that death is.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook