Win In The Dark Quotes

“True Mental Toughness Have a great attitude. Give your very, very best. Treat people really, really well. Operate with unconditional gratitude. Even when you think your circumstances suck.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“One of the most powerful things about being human is having the ability to choose what any given set of circumstances means. We are the ones who get to decide what that tough experience means to us. We can’t control what has happened to us, but we can control the story we tell ourselves about it. And we can control how we respond to it. We get to decide if we’re going to have a victim mindset or a growth mindset. Humans are meaning-making machines! Much of our fulfillment in life depends on our perceptions of the events that happen to us.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“I learned that all you can do is give your best. And your best might not be the same from one day to the next. Some days you may only have 30% in your tank, but you gotta learn how to give 100% of that 30%.14 You must train to give it your all, no matter how much that might be on a given day.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“I want your training to be so tough, and so challenging, that when you are performing for real, everything seems to slow down. To do this, we need to make your training tougher than your performance.” Niko understood what his grandpa was telling him. “Niko, uncomfortable isn’t a choice; hard isn’t a choice; having things speed up and feeling out of control isn’t a choice. But where and when you experience them? We have a lot of choice in that. The more you intentionally seek out those struggles in the dark, the less likely you will be to confront them under the bright lights.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Do yourself a favor and turn your what-ifs into even-ifs. Instead of asking: What if this fails? What if I don’t make it? What if giving my EVERYTHING isn’t ENOUGH? Instead, learn to tell yourself: Even if this fails…I will be stronger because of it. Even if I don’t make it…I will have modeled for my kids to chase big dreams. Even if giving my EVERYTHING isn’t ENOUGH… my value comes from who I am, not from what I do. Even if I lose the short game…I will be better prepared to win the long game.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Nelson Mandela went to jail for twenty-seven years before he became president of his people. How many nights do you think he spent in that cold, damp cell, wondering if it would pay off? Joan of Arc had the conviction that she could lead her ravaged country out of foreign invasion at only the age of sixteen. She did the unthinkable and helped France win the Hundred Years’ War. But how many times did she put on her armor wondering if it would pay off? Jane Austen had the dream of being an author. She published her books anonymously because the public viewed writing as too ‘unfeminine’ and selfish for a woman to do. Can you imagine how many thousands of pages she wrote wondering if all of it would ever pay off? And if you measure her accomplishments in the short game, she failed. It wasn’t until after her death that her work became impacted people all over the world. Jackie Robinson changed the game of baseball forever. Do you think he wondered if it would pay off as people jeered him from the stands? While his teammates antagonized him? While his family had their lives threatened by strangers?” Niko felt his problems minimized in the face of these examples. “Rosa Parks refused to move to the back of the bus just because of her skin color. She was arrested, but that didn’t stop the revolution she started. I’m positive she doubted her actions, wondering if they’d pay off.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Ben loved basketball growing up, but he was always a bit too short and a bit too slow to compete with the best players,” Marco said. “So he didn’t get a ton of playing time. This burned him to the core—but he loved the game too much to quit. He was the last man off the bench, but Ben worked like he was a starting point guard.” The waitress brought their pizza. “Go ahead, eat,” Marco told Niko. “You’re a better listener when you’re eating.” Niko chuckled as he dove in, famished from his tough training session that morning. “Ben once shared with me the most challenging thought he had to deal with during those times. Even though he loved the game, he wondered, Will this ever pay off? Though his future playing time didn’t look promising, he continued playing through his junior and senior seasons. And you know what happened?” “He got better and became the star of the team?” Niko said through a mouthful of pineapple pizza. Marco laughed. “Nope. This isn’t one of those stories. He still spent almost all his time on the bench, but he was determined to still make the team better. See, Ben found a way to lead with enthusiasm, connecting with his teammates and building an unparalleled level of grit. His teammates called him the ‘glue guy,’ the one who kept them all on the same page, working together. So, would you say it paid off for Ben?” He didn’t wait for Niko to answer. “If your criteria for payoff is the ‘short game’—increased playing time, becoming a starter—then no, it didn’t. But I’d argue that it did pay off in an even bigger way. Ben developed skills through playing on that team that many adults still struggle with today. He learned to sit with his Little Man lies. He learned to live with the self-doubt, the constant reminders of his inadequacies. He learned how to find joy in the process and in the success of others. He learned how to keep pushing himself, even when he wasn’t getting the results he was hoping for. Embracing these challenges shaped his character in ways short-game success would never be able to. He unlocked new levels of grit, teamwork, and execution that propelled him ahead in the long game.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“When you feel your calm turn to chaos… When anger makes you want to jump out of your skin… When the clock is ticking down, and you feel the tension build inside you, like a bomb ready to explode… When you are surrounded by noise, clawing for your attention… Press Pause. Use your breathing to slow down. It may be a single deep breath or ten deep breaths. When you feel your emotions start to ease up, listen inside yourself. But beware: the loudest voice inside your head often isn’t the most helpful one. You need to go deeper than the Little Man to find your true wisdom. Pressing pause helps you find that whisper of conviction within you, saying, ‘You got this. You have so much more in the tank than you realize. You can do hard things.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Hesitation creates tightness. Being overwhelmed causes mistakes on simple things. And breakdowns occur…leaving you only to wonder, What if I had only…”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Everyone wants to be great—until it’s time to do what greatness requires.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“It takes real courage to keep getting into the arena when those timid souls sitting in the cheap seats wait patiently, poised to exploit your failure. But I decided long ago that if people aren’t courageous enough to get in the arena themselves, I’m not interested in their commentary. When we step into the arena, it illuminates our cracks, scars, bruises, and imperfections for the world to see. But those scars are living proof that you had the courage to get in the arena in the first place. I would rather die a thousand deaths than live one life not in the arena. There is no place that will make you feel more alive. I dreamed big when going for my Canyon Ridge walk. I got in the arena. And despite my failure, I wouldn’t change my decision for a second.” He paused. “Getting into the arena does not guarantee success. It does, however, guarantee that at the end of your life, you can rest assured knowing you didn’t let life pass you by while you watched from the stands.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Trying to fight your Little Man voice is like trying to fight against the cold. It’s an unwinnable game of tug-of-war that leaves you exhausted and only makes things worse. Like my ice mother7 tells me, as tough as it is, accept where you are, ‘love the sh*t out of it,’ and focus on long exhale breaths. Don’t run from it. Exhale through it. Don’t deal with it. Be with it. Don’t fight it. Love it.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Everything worth doing well, any dream worth having, comes with its fair share of crap sandwiches. You can’t avoid them all. Pursuing your passion means deciding which flavor of crap sandwich you are most willing to put up with. It’s a lie to believe that you will love what you are doing one hundred percent of the time. You aren’t broken because you don’t always enjoy doing the dirty, hard work that goes along with your dream.” Marco continued with a smile. “If you want to be a head coach but aren’t willing to handle the loneliness of knowing somebody is always disappointed with your decisions, then your career will be short-lived. If you want to be an artist but aren’t ready to get criticized by lots of anonymous people, you’re done before you start. If you want to be a CEO but don’t accept the responsibility of having everybody’s expectations on your shoulders, you won’t last. If you want to be elite at your craft but aren’t willing to handle the exhaustion and sacrifice that goes along with a full schedule, then you will never reach your dreams. If you want to be a parent but aren’t willing to endure sleepless nights and a squashed social life for the first years, then you’re in for a lot of suffering. If you want to be an incredible highline walker but aren’t willing to endure gut-twisting heights or the boring frustration of slow progress, especially coming back from an injury, you won’t last long either. The best question to ask is, What hardship, struggle, and pain am I willing to tolerate for the chance to chase my dreams?”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Stop hoping the weather is perfect. Expect the storm. Stop hoping for the ideal highline setup. Expect low tension. Stop hoping people won’t judge you. Expect the shots from the cheap seats. Stop hoping you feel confident. Expect yourself to feel nervous or tired. Stop hoping for conditions to be perfect. Expect it to feel like a battlefield. Once you have come to expect the worst, you can practice responding intentionally to those less-than-ideal circumstances. When you are ready to compete, you can then trust that your training has prepared you to become the closest you can be to bulletproof.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“To be on offense, you need to stop hoping for circumstances to be perfect and expect the unexpected. Draw on the conviction that you’ve trained mentally and physically to transform any challenge into your unique advantage.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Depending on how you set up your environment, it will either serve as gasoline helping to ignite your dreams or cold water that puts them out. Who you surround yourself with. What you watch. How you separate from your phone and social media. Where you train. What you listen to. What you read. All this becomes your environment. And your environment feeds your Little Man.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“You don’t rise to the occasion. You sink to the level of your training.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Society will tell you that fulfillment comes from avoiding pain and sacrifice. But the truth is that your highest levels of grit, toughness, growth, and fulfillment are forged through the fires of the most painful struggles, hardships, and sacrifices.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“The opportunities to become our best are the greatest when the circumstances are the worst.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“In medieval times, these craftsmen would take a large block of steel—one of the hardest materials on earth—and put it in a vicious fire. The steel would heat up to a molten two thousand degrees Fahrenheit. When the sword became red hot, the swordsmith would begin hammering it into shape. They transformed the steel this way, pounding it into a lethal blade until it became cool. Then they would do it all over again.” Marco mimicked the movements of the swordsmith, turning the sword in the oven before relentlessly pounding it. “Heat it in the fire. Pound it into shape. Again and again and again. The best swords in the world were the ones that endured the most fire and the most hammering. They were exceptionally sharp, while still being flexible enough to withstand thousands of blows. They were light, yet sturdy enough to endure long battles. People often want the sharp edge of the sword but aren’t willing to be forged in the fire that yields those results. They are hoping just to feel confident instead of putting in the time required to build conviction. Authentic conviction only comes from having been forged in the fire. You cannot fake your way to conviction,” Marco said, his tone taking on an air of seriousness. “Facing tough circumstances head-on, conquering them, and remembering that you did so generates that deep belief of conviction in your heart.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“I don’t know,” Niko said. “I’m just…not feeling confident today, I guess.” Marco walked over to Niko as he sat down on the bench. “What is confidence? Think about it. What does that word actually mean?” Niko didn’t have an immediate answer, despite the word being thrown around like confetti. He sputtered out his best effort: “It’s, uh…it’s a feeling, you know, like you’re able to DO something.” “Exactly,” Marco said. “It’s a feeling. And if you can only perform when you feel confident, you’re in trouble. We can’t control our feelings. Even I struggle to feel confident sometimes.” Marco sat down next to Niko. “There is, however, something more powerful than confidence. And that is conviction.” He patted his chest, right above his heart. “You don’t need to rely on the fleeting feelings of confidence when you have authentic conviction. It’s a deeply held belief that remains steady, flowing like a river through your body.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“You’ve both pinpointed what I like to call the Twin Thieves: Fear of Failure and Fear of Judgment. The Twin Thieves are two of the toughest tactics our Little Man voice uses. If allowed to go undetected, the Twin Thieves quickly become an invisible chain we wear, wrapped around our neck, slowing us down, and suffocating our potential.”4 Cooper’s voice started to intensify. Niko could tell this was close to his heart. “Very few people dare to share that they are ‘afraid.’ Instead, the fear comes out in different ways: selfishness, isolation, anger, anxiety, bitterness, addiction, projection, complaining, defensiveness. Most teams leave their fears hidden under the table because it can feel soft, weak, and awkward to talk about them. But if you don’t own your fears and share them, they will own you. In our program, we purposely put our fears on top of the table. It forces us to be vulnerable and have the tough conversations that bring our fears into the open. When left in the dark, our fears multiply. But when brought to the light, fear is stripped of its power. We train in the dark, but we bring our fears to the light.” Cooper paused. “The good news is that we have an incredibly powerful counterpunch against the Twin Thieves,” he explained. “And that’s outrageous love.” Niko hadn’t expected that from the coach. “Outrageous love is a combination of unwavering commitment and gut-wrenching patience toward yourself and the people on the journey with you. Outrageous love is when your teammate drops the game-winning touchdown, but you meet him with a hug anyways. Outrageous love is learning your teammates’ unique stories—their families, interests, struggles, fears, and dreams. Outrageous love is working relentlessly hard to make your team better, even when you’re stuck on the bench. Outrageous love for yourself is when you have calm conversations instead of internally assaulting yourself. Outrageous love for yourself is experiencing the stinging pain of failure, but never allowing yourself to believe failing makes you a failure. The best teams that I’ve coached didn’t win because they hated the opponent across from them. They won because they loved the person next to them. In fact, the greats love their opponents as well as their teammates because they know without competition, they would never find the limits of their potential. The greats were built by relentless training and bonded by outrageous love.” Cooper took a deep breath, pausing to let his message sink in. He wrapped up. “Be aware of the Twin Thieves. Put them on top of the table and commit to loving yourself, your fellow walkers, and your opponents. Outrageous love isn’t weak. Outrageous love is a secret weapon.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Marco went on. “Let me explain. On the plains of Colorado, something interesting happens to the wildlife when storm clouds roll through. When the cows sense a storm coming, they hightail it in the opposite direction, trying to escape it. But cows can’t outrun a storm. Eventually, it catches them—and they end up right in the thick of it, suffering as they’re forced to put up with the treacherous conditions. The herds of buffalo respond a bit differently. When buffaloes sense a storm coming, they move straight into the dark, windy skies. By heading into the storm, they spend less time in the dangerous environment and come out on the other side with fewer injuries. In your past training, have you been more like the cows, running away from the storms, or like the buffalo, running straight into them?” Niko cringed, thinking about all the times he had opted out of training because the circumstances were not ideal. “Probably more like a cow.” Marco smiled. “Many people think courage is reserved for superheroes wearing capes. But it isn’t. Extraordinary courage is found in ordinary people consistently choosing to face the storm head-on, day after day. We need you to shift your mindset from a cow to a buffalo by reframing how you see the situation. Running from the storms to seek immediate comfort will only prolong the pain. Stop running from the obstacle. Run toward the opportunity. Stop running from relentless training. Run toward the chance to grow. Stop running from the fear of judgment. Run toward the value of being different.” Marco put his arm around Niko. “It is easy to believe that courage means facing storms without fear. But that’s not it. Courage is acknowledging your fear, checking in with your Big Man wisdom, and facing the storm in spite of it. It is inside the darkness of these storms that your greatness can emerge.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“Marco went on. “Let me explain. On the plains of Colorado, something interesting happens to the wildlife when storm clouds roll through. When the cows sense a storm coming, they hightail it in the opposite direction, trying to escape it. But cows can’t outrun a storm. Eventually, it catches them—and they end up right in the thick of it, suffering as they’re forced to put up with the treacherous conditions. The herds of buffalo respond a bit differently. When buffaloes sense a storm coming, they move straight into the dark, windy skies. By heading into the storm, they spend less time in the dangerous environment and come out on the other side with fewer injuries.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark

“He pulled up a video of one of the strongest humans Niko had ever seen. The man was bursting at the seams with muscles, wearing a full-body harness hooked up to a twenty-ton bus. He started slowly, fighting for every step. Eventually, the bus began creeping forward, inch by inch. As the man found his rhythm, the inches gradually turned into feet, and he pulled the bus through the finish line thirty yards ahead. After the pull, reporters surrounded the man. One interviewer approached him with a microphone. “Pulling a twenty-ton bus is an incredible task,” he said. “What helps you to do it?” The man responded with the reporter in midsentence: “Get. The. Bus. Rolling. That is my only focus. Just get the bus rolling. Once that happens, my training takes me the rest of the way.” Marco closed the video and turned to Niko. “It’s all about getting the bus rolling, Niko. There are a few critical decisions in our days that help us to get the bus rolling. Think about a long line of dominos—you only need to knock over the first one to get the entire chain to fall.” Marco moved to the whiteboard and started listing these critical decisions: Getting out of bed, even though it is warm and comfortable. Taking the first step on a highline, even when you feel nervous. Starting homework, even when other things are pulling at your attention. Starting a tough conversation, even though you might feel vulnerable. Marco continued. “‘Getting the bus rolling’ means having the ability to knock over that first domino, even when you don’t feel like it.” He turned to Niko. “How often have you regretted doing an early-morning workout?” “Never,” Niko replied. “Exactly! But you might never have started that workout in the first place if you had waited to get out of bed until the decision felt comfortable. ‘Getting the bus rolling’ means enduring immediate discomfort for the sake of your long-term ambitions.”
― Joshua Medcalf, Win In The Dark