Secret Santa Quotes

“The double doors at the top of the stairs opened into a waiting area staffed by a blue-haired woman older than Cthulhu.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“Do not bring detestable things into your home, for then you will be destroyed, just like them.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“He had no idea how long the body had been out there, but scavengers should have come by now. Vultures. Wolves. It was like they could smell the evil on this man, the poison in his veins. Nazis were so foul that not even flies would lay eggs in their corpses.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“He looked like a gay character in a Dickens novel. Or a Dickens character in a gay novel.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“This was going to make for one fascinating OSHA report”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“Last Thursday night was the first time I saw the werewolf pissing on my grandmother's grave.' This sounds promising.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“Authors are God's neediest creatures, eclipsed only by actors and puppies.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“How much do you know about the Nazis and the occult?” Agnes said calmly as she used the bowie knife to slice the fruitcake.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“If Lussi had learned anything from Shirley Jackson, it was to be wary of condiments in the homes of strangers.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“Copy editors tended to be lone wolves. Probably because whenever you cornered one, you could tell they were silently judging your grammar.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa

“Trouble was, no amount of shelving would ever be enough. She worked in publishing - when she returned home and brushed her hair, books tumbled out.”
― Andrew Shaffer, Secret Santa