The Best of Me Quotes

“Following a brief period of hard-won independence she came to appreciate the fact that people aren’t foolish as much as they are kind. Peg understood that at a relatively early age. Me, it took years.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“If you read an essay in Esquire and don’t like it, there could be something wrong with the essay. If it’s in The New Yorker, on the other hand, and you don’t like it, there’s something wrong with you.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“... and it was insulting to be told not to take too much of something you didn't really want in the first place.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“Without much accuracy, with strangely little love at all, your family will decide for you exactly who you are, and they’ll keep nudging, coaxing, poking you until you’ve changed into that very simple shape.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“When I first told you I planned to resign as Lieutenant Governor, You turned your head, And I caught the ghost of your perfume. I’m praying that, come Valentine’s Day, You might agree to leave the house And visit me here at the treatment center, Where we can hold hands and discuss my plans To open a chinchilla ranch.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“I can't bear to hear other people's dreams unless I myself am in them.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“In the coming years our father would continue to promise what he couldn't deliver, and in time we grew to think of him as an actor auditioning for the role of a benevolent millionaire.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“For every rabid fundamentalist, there are ten free-thinking progressives whose viewing habits cannot be altered by fear and hatred.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“Following a brief period of hard-won independence she came to appreciate the fact that people aren't foolish as much as they are kind.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“I think I see that crippled girl stealing the new Joni Mitchell album”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“God had chosen her to suffer this disease, and if she had any complaints, she should take it up with Him.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“Drew Pierson's home (ophobic) telephone number is 787-5008. Call him and raise your voice against homophobia!”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“There is literally nothing you can print anymore that isn't going to generate a negative response.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“There’s an Allan Gurganus quote I think of quite often: “Without much accuracy, with strangely little love at all, your family will decide for you exactly who you are, and they’ll keep nudging, coaxing, poking you until you’ve changed into that very simple shape.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“Lisa’s a person who once witnessed a car accident, saying, “I just hope there isn’t a dog in the backseat.” Human suffering doesn’t faze her much, but she’ll cry for days over a sick-pet story. “Did you see that movie about the Cuban guy?” she asked. “It played here for a while but I wouldn’t go. Someone told me a dog gets killed in the first fifteen minutes, so I said forget it.” I reminded her that the main character died as well, horribly, of AIDS, and she pulled into the parking lot, saying, “Well, I just hope it wasn’t a real dog.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“Motherfucker, I ain’t seen pussy in so long, I’d throw stones at it.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“people aren’t foolish as much as they are kind.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“If something is written in your native language and it’s taking you half a year to get through it, unless you’re being paid by the hour to read it, I’d say there’s a problem.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“There’s an Allan Gurganus quote I think of quite often: “Without much accuracy, with strangely little love at all, your family will decide for you exactly who you are, and they’ll keep nudging, coaxing, poking you until you’ve changed into that very simple shape.” Is there a richer or more complex story than that?”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“There’s a lot of talk lately about “the family you choose.” It’s a phrase often used by people who were rejected by their parents or siblings and so formed a group of supportive, kindred spirits. I think it’s great they’re part of a tight-knit circle, but I wouldn’t call it a family. Essential to that word is that the people you’re surrounded by were not chosen. They were assigned by fate, and now you must deal with them in one way or another until you die.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“It’s pathetic how much significance I attach to the Times puzzle, which is easy on Monday and gets progressively harder as the week advances. I’ll spend fourteen hours finishing the Friday, and then I’ll wave it in someone’s face and demand that he acknowledge my superior intelligence. I think it means that I’m smarter than the next guy, but all it really means is that I don’t have a life.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me

“the first thing on their list is to take Hugh’s walnuts.”
― David Sedaris, The Best of Me