Double Whammy Quotes

“My roommate is a 240-pound homicidal hermit. For dinner he’s fixing me a dead fox he scraped off the highway near Ponchatoula, and after that we’re taking a leaky tin boat out on a windy lake to spy on some semi-retarded fishermen. Don’t you wish you were here?”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“In person the act of fishing was boring enough; watching someone else do it seemed like a form of self-torture.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“In nature violence is pure and purposeful, one species against another in an act of survival!”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Deep in every angler's soul is a secret confidence in his own special prowess that impels him to keep fishing in the face of common sense, basic science, financial ruin, and even natural disasters.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“In all the years, only one person had been foolhardy enough to try to fight Trooper Jim Tile. The boy's name was Dekle, and he was eighteen, as big and white as a Frigidaire, and just about as intelligent.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“He hated trailer parks; trailer parks were the reason God invented tornadoes.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“THEY WENT TO a Denny’s on Biscayne Boulevard, where Skink fit right in with the clientele.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“It was a dazzlingly lascivious walk, with a sway of the hips that suggested maybe a little booze for breakfast.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Living in Miami tended to recalibrate one’s view of sanity.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“All that for one fish?” Decker was amazed. Civilization was in serious trouble. “In 1985,”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Dedication”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“tight lines!”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Confrontation,' he declared, 'is the essence of nature!'
He shook his silvery braid loose and let his hair stream out behind him.
'Confrontation is the rhythm of life,' he went on. 'In nature violence is pure and purposeful, one species against another in an act of survival!'
Terrific, Decker thought. Marlin Perkins on PCP.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Damn it, Billy, you did it again. People don't buy townhouses on 'canals'. 'Canal' is a dirty word. A canal is where raw sewage goes. A canal is where ducks fuck and cattle piss. Who'd want to live on a damn canal? Would you pay a hundred fifty grand to do that? No. You'd want to live on a lake. A cool, scenic lake. And lakes is what we're selling here.'
'I understand," the vice president said. Lakes it is then. Straight, narrow lakes. Lakes you could toss a stone across. Lakes of identical finger-like dimensions.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“During the last days of his governorship, Clinton Tyree had lobbied for a somewhat tougher law. His version would have required anyone who killed a manatee to immediately forfeit his boat (no matter how luxurious) and pay a ten-thousand dollar fine or go to jail for forty-five days. The Tyree Amendment would have also required the manatee killer to bury the dead animal himself, at a public ceremony. Not surprisingly, the governor's proposal was quietly rejected.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“He was gone, unglued, lost in a pathetic blubbering panic.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy

“Consequently the Harney High athletic department decided to focus on another sport, basketball. The first order of business was to build a gymnasium with a basketball court and some portable bleachers. The second order of business was to send a cautious delegation of coaches and teachers into the black neighborhood to recruit some good basketball players. A few old crackers in Harney huffed and swore about having to watch a bunch of skinny spooks tear up and down the court, and about how it wasn't fair to the good Christian white kids, but then it was pointed out that the good Christian white kids were mostly slow and fat and couldn't make a lay-up from a trampoline.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Double Whammy