Feeling Great Quotes

“In addition, make sure the problem you want help with is an individual mood problem and not a relationship conflict. Individual mood problems involve feelings of depression or anxiety, and your negative thoughts will, for the most part, be directed at yourself (“I’m a loser”) rather than someone else (“She’s a loser”).”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“It became obvious that my negative thoughts were pretty distorted, and that was a huge relief. This type of recovery is what Dr. Albert Ellis has called the “low-level solution.” You suddenly feel better because you discover that your negative thoughts simply aren’t true. A “high-level solution” is different: That’s where you discover that you can feel happy even if your negative thoughts are true. How does that work? Suppose, for example, that the crowd in Anaheim had been much smaller and less enthusiastic. What then? Would that have meant that my “self ” really wasn’t “good enough”? I”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Are there some advantages, or benefits, of this negative thought or feeling? How might it be helpful to me? What does this negative thought or feeling show about me and my core values that’s beautiful, positive, or even awesome?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“What are some benefits, or advantages, of this negative thought or feeling? How might it be helping you and your baby?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Is it possible that we sometimes get stuck in depression and resist change not because there is something wrong with us but because there is something right with us?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“I asked a Catholic friend who kindly offered to ask several Catholic theologians if it was okay to fantasize about Jesus having sex with the Virgin Mary in all the positions of the Kama Sutra. They agreed to debate the topic and came up with this unanimous conclusion: Cognitive flooding would be okay if the goal was healing and not entertainment.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“But your feelings are not always a reliable guide to reality and”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Five Secrets of Effective Communication The five secrets of effective communication can help you resolve virtually any relationship problem quickly. These techniques require considerable practice and must come from the heart or they’ll backfire. 1. The Disarming Technique. Find some truth in what the other person is saying even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair. 2. Empathy. Try to see the world through the other person’s eyes. Paraphrase the other person’s words (thought empathy) and acknowledge how the other person is probably feeling based on what he or she said (feeling empathy). 3. Inquiry. Ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. 4. “I Feel” Statements. Express your own ideas and feelings in a direct, tactful manner. Use I feel statements (such as “I’m feeling upset”) rather than you statements (such as “You’re making me furious!”) 5. Stroking. Convey an attitude of respect even if you feel angry with the other person. Find something genuinely positive to say even in the heat of battle.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Outcome resistance means that you have mixed feelings about pressing the magic button and being instantly cured. Process resistance means that recovery is not as easy as pushing a magic button and that there’s something you’ll have to do—something you won’t want to do—to recover.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“I told Marilyn that God told me, “David, if you believe in me, I’m going to be deeply disappointed.” I replied, “Don’t worry, big guy, I’ve got your back!”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“What does this negative thought or feeling show about you and your core values that’s positive and awesome?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“She was surprised and asked why not. I explained that although her negative thoughts and feelings were certainly creating a lot of pain for her, I suspected there might be some real advantages, or benefits, of thinking and feeling the way she did. I added that her negative thoughts and feelings might also be an expression of her most beautiful and awesome qualities, and that maybe we should take a look at that before we went about trying to change things. I suggested we could ask the following questions about each negative thought or feeling before she made any decision about pressing the magic button:”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“I told Maria that I didn’t have a magic button, but I did have some awesome tools, and I predicted that if we used them, she’d probably feel a whole lot better by the end of the session and might even feel joyful. But I told her I wasn’t so sure it would be a good idea to use those tools.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“I asked her to imagine that we had a magic button and that if she pushed it, all of her negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear, with no effort at all, and she’d immediately feel joyous, even euphoric. Would she push the button?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Next I asked Maria the miracle cure question: If a miracle happened in today’s session, what miracle would she be hoping for?”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Other-Blame.You blame others and overlook ways you might have contributed to the conflict.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Self-Blame. You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you beat up on yourself because of some mistake you made.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Self-Blame and Other-Blame. You find fault in others or yourself instead of solving the problem or identifying the true causes of the problem.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Labeling. Labeling is an extreme form of overgeneralization in which you try to capture the “essence” of yourself or another person with a one-word label. For example, when you make a mistake, you call yourself a “jerk” or “loser” instead of saying, “I made a mistake.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Hidden Shoulds are not expressed explicitly with terms like should, ought, or must, but they’re implied by your negative thoughts and feelings. For example, if you berate yourself whenever you make a mistake, you’re essentially telling yourself that you should be perfect and should never goof up.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“World-Directed Shoulds lead to frustration and anger when the world doesn’t meet our expectations. For example, I sometimes tell myself that this or that software program shouldn’t be so dang complicated and hard to learn!”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Other-Directed Shoulds lead to feelings of anger and frustration when others don’t meet our expectations (“He shouldn’t feel that way” or “She shouldn’t have said that!”). Other-directed shoulds cause conflicts with others, such as marital problems, arguments, and even violence and war.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Self-Directed Shouldslead to feelings of guilt and inferiority when we don’t live up to our self-imposed standards (“I shouldn’t have screwed up!”).”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Should Statements. You criticize yourself or other people with shoulds, shouldn’ts, musts, ought tos, and have tos. There are several types of should statements:”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Emotional Reasoning. This involves reasoning from the way you feel, such as: “I feel like an idiot, so I must be one” or “I feel hopeless, so things are never going to get better.” Or in the case of panic attacks, “I feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so I must be in a lot of danger.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Magnification and Minimization. You exaggerate the negativity in a situation and minimize the positives. I call this the “binocular trick” since magnifying is like looking through a pair of binoculars (which makes everything much bigger), and minimizing is like looking through the opposite end (which makes everything much smaller).”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Mind Reading. You jump to conclusions about how others are thinking and feeling without any clear evidence.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Fortune Telling. You make arbitrary and disturbing predictions about the future. It’s as if you had a crystal ball that only gives you bad news!”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Jumping to Conclusions. This is where you jump to painful and upsetting conclusions that aren’t really supported by the facts. There are two common versions of this distortion:”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

“Discounting the Positive. This is an even more spectacular mental error. You tell yourself that your positive qualities or successes don’t count. You convince yourself that you’re completely bad, inferior, or worthless.”
― David D. Burns, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety