From Out of Feldspar Quotes

“Father didn't want to seem weak in front of us and that itself was a weakness.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“I wanted to kiss her. She looked like the picture of peace, but I knew better to keep my passion to myself. Instead I put my lips to my wine glass, pretending that it was her. The taste was sticky sweet, but certainly not as satisfying.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Again she dances on the edge of my consciousness, laughing at me in my dreams. This is only fair. I cast myself as her fool from the beginning. When I told her she could have anything of mine; she plundered my heart, dazzled my mind, taking whatever it was of mine that she pleased.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“I froze at his words. He cried those tears that I was afraid of spilling myself.

My numbness burned me; I let those tears fly now to think of him like that. We were both tormented by the trials of this life; trials which had to be endured if we were to continue living.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“She'd see that I loved her in that way I had thought I had loved all the girls before her; openly, desperately hoping for my affections returned with the same warmth and passion.

That's how I lost them all, I had wanted far too much.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Robert would allow me to cry as I desperately needed to. At least he'd understand that this need to keep up a perfect appearance had been slowly killing me.

Though I hated to admit it; in some ways, Robert had been right all along. You couldn't live without feeling. Denying yourself was a terrible destructive thing that wore on you.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“For the funeral, I had to show my proper mourning face. Truly, I longed to break down and have a full-on emotional attack; perhaps if I let myself go long enough, I might get all the pain out of my system. I had no hope of doing such a thing in front of everyone I knew. It simply wasn't proper.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“I had lost so much love in this life and for this fading poet; love is life.

If I cannot love any longer, then my life is forfeit.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Two towering beasts were brought to us. I do not say this lightly for I am the tallest man I know and Alexander isn't that much shorter than me. These great horses looked me squarely in the eye; which was something most people couldn't manage. They were rather terrifying to behold; made entirely of muscle and grit.

"Yes, they're perfect." Alexander smiles and I wonder if he has lost his mind.

He puts a hand to each of their large muzzles. Rather than destroy him, the two massive horses seem calmed by his presence.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Bart stood quietly by me, letting me spill my senseless tears. I don't know how he managed to tolerate me so well. I didn't even tolerate myself that much.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Bart stood quietly by me, letting me spill my senseless tears with the patience of a saint. I don't know how he managed to tolerate me so well. I didn't even tolerate myself that much.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Determination is charmingly refreshing on you, Robert, I must say."

"Please don't encourage him." Bart mutters to Percy, who ignores him.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Why should I trust a man? Gentleman or street sweeper, I'll just get disappointed again." Percy sighs, shaking his head.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Tonight we are going to dazzle His Lordship's wealthy friends and leave them with empty purses, minds spinning that they allowed a couple of boys who once lived in the gutter to rob them so delightfully blind.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Claude can't understand but his attempts to comfort me are endearing as they are frustrating. He is too kind to be reprimanded. He could have scolded me; many husbands in his place would have. For some reason, this gentle dove of a man will do no such thing. Instead, he pulls me into a protective embrace.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Claude was a sensitive soul; I couldn't say what I thought to him.

My thoughts were spiky with barbs of ugliness. I recognized the darkness in them but could say nothing about it to any of my family members.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Omission is not technically a lie. It's a cold comfort.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“If Grandmother were still here, this trip wouldn't have been the disappointment I felt it was. She would have known what I needed. She had raised six children, with the help of the servants, mind you, but still, six children.

I had two girls now; I couldn't imagine any more. Grandmother's strength and wisdom were undefeatable in an age that had taxed women in so many ways; I couldn't even begin to imagine how many.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Like a love-high giddy fool, I spent all my life's luck on winning card games for my beloved Collin and Wren who I might still die for, given the chance.

After all, I had loved them both more than I did myself.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar

“Though it was hardly a shock to him, because Father knew well by my sixteenth birthday how unpredictably erratic my temperament had become. His sweet Robert had died many years ago, along with his mother, and was replaced by this wicked little changeling who didn't ever care to temper his tongue. I had earned many a rival, enemy and smack upside the head for the mischievous things I said and did.”
― Maddy Kobar, From Out of Feldspar