The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives Quotes

“Only a foolish woman leans heavily on a man's promises”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“A real woman must always do the things she wants to do, and in her own time too. You must never allow yourself to be rushed into doing things you're not ready for.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“The choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter. Sometimes we have no choices at all.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“My daughters were born with eyes in their stomachs so they are quick to digest all that they see.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“Even listening in on their plans for me did not take the tomato seller off my mind. After searching for days, I traced her to the farmland on the edge of our village. When I saw her, courage failed me. My liver weakened and I could not bring myself to talk to her. I abandoned my fufu and stalked her, overjoyed to be breathing the air she was breathing. I saw every man she teased. A gasp escaped my lips every time she rolled her hips and jiggled the beads that adorned her waist. Sweat was dripping from my neck like rain from the awning. I can’t explain why but I wanted her for myself. I wanted to build a house for her and keep the key between my breasts. I wanted to dress her in the finest aso oke so she could parade herself for my delight alone. I wanted to lock her between my thighs.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“Men are so simple. They will believe anything.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“If you drag her by the hair, she’ll follow you anywhere, I swear it!”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“How could I tell her that I had failed to preserve my dignity? I was too ashamed to let her see the fickle shell I’d become. Inevitably, it became unbearable. The more she pushed, the more I resisted. I didn’t want a job! I didn’t want a white wedding! I just wanted the war between who I used to be and who I’d become to end. I didn’t want to fight anymore.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“I was twenty-three years old, I remember. It was later in the year that my older brother declared that I was ripe for marriage. My mother did not tell him to mind his mouth. Instead, without raising her face from the heap of melon seeds, she added, ‘Truth be told, she is bordering on decay.’ I cannot forget that day. Not because their words did not cause me sorrow but because I remember thinking how unjust it was that the gods had blessed them with such wondrous eyes. How was it that they could see the womanhood that I – on whose body it was plastered – could not? Within me, I was certain I was still a child. I thought like a child and enjoyed childish pleasures”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“They say the elder who soils the floor with shit immediately forgets, but the stench remains in the memory of the person who has to pack it. Some people are born to shit, and some, like Bolanle and me, are born to pack.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“Don’t think I can’t see the challenges ahead of me. People will say I am a secondhand woman. Men will hurt and ridicule me but I won’t let them hold me back. I will remain in the land of the living. I am back now and the world is spread before me like an egg cracked open.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“I take it there are other children? I know it is bad luck to say how many but perhaps you could tell me roughly how many children you have.” “You dare to call my children rough?”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“is normal practice in Nigeria for wives to be known as “Iya” followed by the name of their first child. “Iya” in this context means “mother of.” What does this say about the identity of women in a traditional Nigerian setting, and how do you think this might impact women who are unable to produce children?”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“THE RICH HAVE FAT BELLIES. They swagger until the world swings to one side. They see more food and they lunge at it. They have a permanent hunger, you see. For the poor, it’s different. They’ve never known the taste of fullness, so they scramble for leftovers, not because they are hungry but because they want to know fullness, the contentment that makes the rich think the world is theirs.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

“A child who will play in the dark must first learn how to close its eyes.”
― Lola Shoneyin, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives