Operators and Things Quotes

“to accept him. He tucks away, whether he does it in neat boxes or in sloppily wrapped packages, secret worlds of himself which he cannot bring himself and his environment to face.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Play is one of our human drives that is the basis of creativity. All of the most creative people, whether they're artists or whether they're scientists, their work is really disciplined play. Play is what we do out of freedom, not necessity.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Yes," said Burt, and he looked pleased. But I hadn't spoken. I considered this for a moment.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Abnormality departed with a leisurely step. First there was the dry beach, ten days of vacuum. Then the period of the beach and the waves. Then there was Something, that heavy hand of urgent hunches. Then the four- or five-day period when Something demonstrated its frightening and profitable talent for extending. Then the novel-writing days, strangest of all, perhaps, when words from nowhere somehow reached my fingers, ignoring the dry beach altogether. And the pictures, flashing like bright telegrams. The three months of unusual phenomena were as weird in their way as the voices of the Operators. But the anchor remained solidly hooked and, except for a few days when Something seemed to be showing off what it could do in the way of telepathy and
precognition if it really tried, I wandered calmly from one stage to another, undisturbed by what was happening, undisturbed by what might lie around the corner.
And then abruptly, overnight, the strange equipment was put away in storage, the regular machinery was hauled onto the dry beach and connected. Reason, as I had known reason, returned.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“That highly complex piece of mechanism under the dry beach, I finally decided, had a great many units, undoubtedly, working
away in separate little departments of their own, doing a great variety of things, keeping a clock synchronized with my alarm clock, remembering appointments, writing a novel, keeping lists of things to buy like groceries and bathing suits; and probably these separate departments had their
own system of communicating with each other.
The idea appealed to me. I could see Department T (in charge of keeping time) flashing a picture of the time on its chart at the appointed minute to Department N (in charge of getting the dry beach
out of bed and other navigation). A queer clock, I had to admit, although the chart had a so-so resemblance to a stop watch.
Then there was Department L (in charge of keeping Lists of Things to Get) sending up a picture of bathing suits— this picture not seen by the dry beach— to N.
“We’re in the shopping section, N. How about that bathing suit? I want to get it off my list.”
N, flashing same picture to Department W (in charge of waves) : “W, please send in one wave regarding bathing suit. We’re in shopping section.”
W sends in wave and then flashes picture of green oblong with white dollar sign and zero.
Translation: “I did. Has no money.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Burt explained. I could see why he had been chosen spokesman. What he had to say, he said clearly and in a few words. I had been selected for participation in an experiment. He hoped I would be cooperative; lack of cooperation on my part would make matters difficult for them and for myself. They were Operators, the three of them. There were Operators everywhere in the world although they rarely were seen or heard. My seeing and hearing them was, unfortunately, a necessary part of the experiment.

I thought: I have come upon knowledge which other people do not have and the knowledge is obviously dangerous to have; others would be in equal danger if I revealed it to them.

'Yes,' said Burt, and he looked pleased.

But I hadn't spoken. I considered this for a moment. First things first. 'What is the nature of this experiment?'

Hinton smiled wryly. 'Didn't I tell you,' he said to Burt, 'that it would say that first?'

It?”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“I walked serenely about the park, undisturbed that I had been insane for six months, undisturbed that I could not now think, undisturbed that I was thousands of miles from home. I stared at the serene swan that swam on the park's lake appreciatively, understandingly.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“You can do any of many things with fear and any of many things may happen to you as a result. You may run, or scream, or get ulcers. But the worst thing you can do with fear is to bury it inside of you in a box and pretend that what you're afraid of doesn't exist.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Your mind is "split,”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Psychology, if it is to science rather than dogma, must learn from people like Barbara that the unconscious is not at all like the mechanized models of human behavior upon which we depend all too much.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“I thought: I have come upon knowledge which other people do not have and the knowledge is obviously dangerous to have; others would be in equal danger if I revealed it to them.

'Yes,' said Burt, and he looked pleased.

But I hadn’t spoken.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“Also, I thought, without Operators to influence me, I might discover what I was really like. I could see why I might have been two very different people during the years Hinton and Burt had operated me.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

“You realize that you had schizophrenic hallucinations and that the Operators did not exist.”
― Barbara O'Brien, Operators and Things: The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic