The Gift Quotes

“the opposite of depression is expression. What comes out of you doesn’t make you sick; what stays in there does.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“But as long as you’re avoiding your feelings, you’re denying reality. And if you try to shut something out and say, “I don’t want to think about it,” I guarantee that you’re going to think about it. So invite the feeling in, sit down with it, keep it company. And then decide how long you’re going to hold on to it. Because you’re not a fragile little somebody. It’s good to face every reality. To stop fighting and hiding. To remember that a feeling is just a feeling—it’s not your identity.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“When we’ve been victimized, there’s a part of our psyche that identifies with the victimizer, and sometimes we adopt that punitive, victimizer stance toward ourselves, denying ourselves the permission to feel good, depriving ourselves of our birthright: joy.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“This is how we release ourselves from the prison of avoidance—we let the feelings come. We let them move through us. And then we let them go.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“We’re all victims of victims. How far back do you want to go, searching for the source? It’s better to start with yourself.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Our childhoods end when we begin to live in someone else’s image of who we are.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“When you turn the other cheek, you look at the same thing from a new perspective. You can’t change the situation, you can’t change someone else’s mind, but you can look at reality differently. You can accept and integrate multiple points of view. This flexibility”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“nobody can take your inner life or responses from you. Why do you give him more power?”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Sometimes it just takes one sentence to point the way out of victimhood: Is it good for me?”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Our best teachers. The most toxic, obnoxious people in our lives can be our best teachers. The next time you’re in the presence of someone who irks or offends you, soften your eyes and tell yourself, “Human, no more, no less. Human, like me.” Then ask, “What are you here to teach me?”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“…the things that interrupt our lives, that stop us in our track, can also be catalysts for the emerging self, tools that show us a new way to be, that endow us with new vision. This is why I say that in every crisis there is a transition. Awful things happen and they hurt like hell. And these devastating experiences are also opportunities to regroup and decide what we want for our lives.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Freedom is a lifetime practice—a choice we get to make again and again each day.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“No more don’t, don’t, don’t,” I told her. “I want to give you lots of dos. I do have a choice. I do have a life to live. I do have a role. I do live in the present. I do pay attention to what I’m focusing on, and it’s definitely in alignment with the goals I’m choosing: what gives me pleasure, what gives me joy.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“In Hungary we say, “Don’t inhale your anger to your breast.” It can be harmful to hold on to feelings and keep them locked inside.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Just remember, no one can take away what you’ve put in your mind.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“When a couple tells me they never fight, I say, “Then you don’t have intimacy, either.” Conflict is human. When we avoid conflict, we’re actually moving closer to tyranny than to peace.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“But a feeling is only a feeling. There’s no right or wrong. There’s just my feeling and yours.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Another tool for moving out of victimhood is to learn to cope with loneliness. It’s what most of us fear more than anything else. But when you’re in love with yourself, alone doesn’t mean lonely.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“I can’t say that everything happens for a reason, that there’s a purpose in injustice or suffering. But I can say that pain, hardship, and suffering are the gift that helps us grow and learn and become who we are meant to be.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Freedom is a lifetime practice—a choice we get to make again and again each day. Ultimately, freedom requires hope, which I define in two ways: the awareness that suffering, however terrible, is temporary; and the curiosity to discover what happens next. Hope allows us to live in the present instead of the past, and to unlock the doors of our mental prisons.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“When we’re in the habit of denying our feelings, it can be hard even to identify what we’re feeling, much less face it, express it, and finally release”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Whatever you practice, you become better at. If”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Caroline lived in the prison of trying to protect others from her feelings. The people who love us want the best for us. They don’t want us to hurt. And so it’s tempting to show them the version of ourselves they long to see. But when we deny or minimize what we’re feeling, it backfires.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Everything in life is temporary. So what can you do today that you previously avoided? How can you turn your anxiety into excitement? And how can you discern not only what feeds you, but what truly nourishes you? Today, say no to one thing that depletes you; say yes to one thing that empowers you.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Мої батьки померли, не маючи вибору. Натомість у мене є чимало варіантів. Я можу відчувати провину за те, що вціліла, коли кілька мільйонів людей, зокрема й мої мама і тато, загинули. Або можу вирішити жити й працювати, і зцілюватися в той спосіб, що звільняє мене від власного минулого. Можу прийняти власну силу та свободу. Стан жертви спричиняє задубіння мозку, затягує назад у минуле, топить у горі, утримує у втратах і нестачі, у тому, що я не можу зробити та чого я не маю.”
― Едіт Егер, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Наш розум продукує чимало геніальних способів, щоб нас захистити. Стан жертви — спокусливий сховок, що вселяє нам переконання, ніби наш біль стане меншим, якщо в ньому немає нашої провини. Допоки Емілі вважає себе жертвою, вона може перекладати відповідальність за власне щастя на колишнього чоловіка. Стан жертви дає хибне виправдання для затримки та відтермінування власного розвитку. Що довше ми перебуваємо у цьому стані, то важче з нього вийти”
― Едіт Егер, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“What a beautiful reminder that the things that interrupt our lives, that stop us in our tracks, can also be catalysts for the emerging self, tools that show us a new way to be, that endow us with new vision.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Silent rage is self-destructive. If you’re not actively, consciously, intentionally releasing it, you’re holding on to it. And that’s not going to do you any good.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Forgiveness isn’t something we do for the person who’s hurt us. It’s something we do for ourselves, so we’re no longer victims or prisoners of the past, so we can stop carrying a burden that harbors nothing but pain.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life

“Hope is the boldest act of imagination I know.”
― Edith Eger, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life