Codependent Quotes

“By owning your actions and choices you retake control of your life, and thus you retake control of your destiny. This will keep you from being the victim ever again, no matter what the circumstances are. Always remember, every choice you make is of your own free will, no matter where those choices may lead.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The first way to eliminate the victim mentality in a codependent relationship is to hold the codependent person responsible for their actions.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Identifying positive people is a fairly easy thing to do for the most part. One of the first things you will notice about positive people is a lack of negative behavior. For example, a positive person will be far less likely to lose their temper, especially over small, seemingly insignificant things. Needless to say, everyone has a bad day from time to time, even positive people, but any incidents that arise due to a bad day will be isolated and the exception to the rule, not the rule itself.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“These things won’t necessarily be overly complicated, and the direction you need to establish in order to achieve them will be fairly straight forward. However, in the event that you want to change your life in more profound ways, such as leaving the town or city in which you live, getting a better education, training for a new career, or even something more profound such as entering politics, you will need to steer your life in a precise direction, one that leads you away from your codependent past and toward your newfound life-goal.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The important thing is to take all the time you need to find what inspires you. Once you find inspiration, be sure to write it down so that you can start pursuing that goal and finding the happiness that you deserve.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Once you have created your list the next step is to identify each individual entry as something that belongs to you or something that comes from the heart and mind of someone else. How you mark the items on your list is up to you, the important thing is that you clearly differentiate those things that are yours from those things that aren’t. You can put an “x” next to the items that don’t come from your heart and mind, and a check mark next to those things that do. Alternatively, you can cross off the items that are alien, leaving your thoughts, hopes and dreams unmarked. In the end, all that matters is that you do what feels best to you.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“One of the first things you need to do when shifting from a shared mindset to an individual mindset is to list all of your current thoughts, feelings, dreams and goals on a piece of paper. Needless to say, most of these thoughts, feelings, dreams and goals will not necessarily be yours at this point.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“However, it is absolutely vital that it not only be broken, but that it is replaced with an independent mindset, one that is healthy and strong and enables the individual to retake control of their life.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The first step toward establishing independence is to begin defining yourself as an individual. Anyone who lives their life in codependence will acquire a self-image that is akin to a hive mentality. Rather than being a single person with personal feelings, thoughts, dreams and goals they see themselves as part of a collective. Even if that collective is comprised of only two people it is still enough to see the individual lose all sense of individuality. Instead, they take on the needs and desires of the taker, who dominates the relationship, thereby defining the nature of all involved. This hive-like mindset can be very difficult to break, especially for someone who has spent years in a codependent environment.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Even long after the relationship is ended those scars can continue to haunt the individual, affecting their mood, how they perceive reality and even the choices they make on a daily basis. Perhaps the greatest of these scars is that of anger.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The final step to achieving detachment from codependent influences is to accept the truth. In this case the truth is summed up in the word “detach” itself. Don’t Even Think About Changing Him/ Her.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“When it comes to making decisions for yourself you might run into the common snag of not actually knowing what you want. This is something most victims of codependent relationships experience at first due to the fact that they never took the time to consider their feelings or desires before. Instead, they always considered the feelings and desires of others when making every decision or choice that they had to make. As a result, you may find it difficult to make choices for yourself since you may not actually know what things you like and what things you don’t like. In order to overcome this obstacle you must become self-aware.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Your whole life has been spent in the service of others. Thus the idea of actually doing things for yourself will be very difficult to adapt to. One of the main obstacles you will encounter is that of feeling selfish. Since your life has so far been spent doing things for others the idea of doing things for yourself will seem strange and alien. You will feel self-conscious making a decision for the sole reason of bringing yourself happiness and pleasure. However, this is a vital hurdle to overcome, one that will prove a turning point on your road to a normal and healthy life.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The bottom line is that you aren’t responsible for how other people feel, no matter what others might say. Only when you come to this realization can you begin to move on with your life in a healthy and meaningful way.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Finally there is the symptom of a codependent parent/child relationship that comes in the form of the child being indebted to the parents.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Another common symptom of a codependent parent/child relationship is vicarious living. This is when the parent lives the life of their dreams through their child. In the most extreme cases a parent will go as far as making their child pursue the career of the parent’s dreams, attend the college the parent wanted to go to, or even marry the type of person the parent wishes they had married. In short, a codependent parent will view their child as an opportunity to relive their own lives, making all the choices they wish they had made along the way. Needless to say, this deprives the child from being able to make their own decisions, pursue their own dreams and live the life they want to live.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“A good example of codependent behavior by a parent is that of never being wrong. Despite contrary opinions on the matter, it turns out that parents are just ordinary, regular people like everyone else. As such, they are prone to getting things wrong from time to time. Many parents will accept such lapses in judgment, owning their mistakes and the consequences they might create. However, codependent parents will never accept responsibility for being wrong. Instead, they will either blame events on some other factor, such as other people involved, or they will simply rewrite the story so that their actions seem more reasonable and justified. Whenever a codependent parent is challenged on the error of a decision they will usually become highly emotional, often lashing out in fits of rage in order to maintain control over the situation and everyone involved. They will almost never admit to being wrong, and they will certainly never apologize even if they cannot deny that they made a mistake along the way.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“What makes this type of relationship so devastating is the fact that the children involved are not old enough to recognize that things aren’t as they ought to be. Instead, they are developing and growing as individuals, relying on their environment to teach them the valuable lessons of life. Thus, when they grow up in a codependent environment they accept any dysfunctional behavior as normal, falling into step with the roles they are expected to fill, usually servile and obedient in nature. As a result, children who are raised by codependent parents tend to grow up to become codependent themselves, seeking out other codependent people in order to continue fulfilling their obedient and servile roles. Therefore, codependent parent/children relationships are perhaps the most important ones to recognize as early intervention can help prevent the perpetuation of codependent behavior from one generation to the next.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The more questions you answer “Yes” to, the more codependent your life is, and this makes it important for you to liberate yourself and begin building a new, healthy life. Do you live with someone who practices substance abuse? Do you live with someone who bullies or belittles you? Are you a victim of physical abuse? Are you a victim of sexual abuse? Do you worry about the opinions other people have of you? Are the opinions and desires of others more important than your own? Do you become jealous when those close to you spend time with other people? Do you struggle to know your own thoughts or feelings? Do you struggle to express your thoughts or feelings to others? Are you overly self-critical when you make mistakes? Do you feel solely responsible for the happiness and wellbeing of others? Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Do you doubt your ability to be good enough in life? Do you feel responsible for the misfortunes of those in your life? Do you feel overwhelmed with your responsibilities in life? Do you struggle with asking others for help? Do you live in a constant state of fear or anxiety? Do you have a hard time interacting with authority figures, such as bosses, the police or other such people? Do you suppress your emotions or thoughts to appease others? Do you feel as though you live to serve others, but not yourself? Is your life defined by the relationships you have? Do you rely on one person to provide you with the love and support you need? Does anyone rely solely on you for the love and support they need? Do you wish you could restart your life somewhere else or with someone else? Have you ever had thoughts of self-harm or suicide?”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Anger can also be the consequence of always suppressing their emotions in order to maintain equanimity within the relationship. Any time thoughts and emotions are suppressed on a regular basis it almost always causes deep-seeded anger and resentment”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“Anger is another trait of codependent people. This is experienced equally by people on both sides of the relationship. In terms of the person being cared for, anger comes out when they feel their needs aren’t being put first. They will blow up when the caregiver seems to be paying attention to other people, or even worse, when they appear to put their needs first. The result is an outburst of abuse, usually emotional and psychological, however physical abuse can also occur in more extreme cases.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“One of the most common symptoms of a codependent person is fear. This fear comes in many different forms, each unique to the type of relationship the individual is living in. The most common type of fear is the fear of rejection. For one reason or another the caregiver in a codependent relationship becomes convinced that they don’t deserve any better treatment than what they are getting.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life

“The first step toward recovery in any area of life is to gain a better understanding of the overall situation.”
― Dana Jackson, Codependent: No more Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse. A Recovery User Manual to Cure Codependency Now. Boost Your Self-Esteem Restoring Peace and Melody in Your Life