Sizzling Sixteen Quotes

“Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots."
"Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Why do you give me cars?"
"It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?"
"You love me?"
"Yes."
A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way," Ranger said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Ranger clicked his penlight on. "Hang onto me if you can't see."
I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. "I'm good to go."
He was still for a beat. "You could have held on to my jacket," he said.
"Would you rather I do that?"
"No. Not even a little.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“You're such a cupcake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli.
"No. Were discussing."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?"
"No."
"The were not fighting.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Ranger picked up and there was a moment of silence as if he was sensing me at the other end, taking my body temperature and heart rate long distance. “Babe,” he finally said.
“Do you know the slum apartment building Bobby Sunflower owns on Stark?”
“Yes. It’s on the same block as his funeral home.”
“That’s the one. I’m going in to look for someone. If you don’t hear from me in a half hour maybe you could send someone to check.”
“Is this a smart thing to do?”
“Probably not.”
“As long as you know,” Ranger said. And he disconnected.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“I thought you wanted to date other women?"
"I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached."
"And I could date other men."
Morelli was starting to look annoyed. "Have you been dating other men?"
"Maybe."
"As long as it isn't Ranger," Morelli said.
"I don't think Ranger dates.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“One of the men gave Butch a bunch of volts with a stun gun. The Rangeman didn’t move fast enough, and Butch grabbed the gun and threw it across the room.
“Hunh,” Rangeman guy said.
“Yeah,” I said. “Been there, done that.”
“Are you sure he’s human?”
“Maybe you could hook a chain to the FlexiCuffs on his ankles and drag him behind your car,” I said.
“We tried that once, and Ranger didn’t like it,” the guy said. “You do something twice that Ranger doesn’t like, and you’re out of a job and damaged.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Were really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Holy bejeezus,” Lula said, eyes bugged out, looking at the building. “This is scaring the crap out of me. This is like where Dracula would live if he didn’t have any money and was a crack-head. I bet it’s filled with rabid bats and killer snakes and hairy spiders as big as dinner plated.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“anyone else would have just killed the alligator”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“I can't squeeze to keep the breezers in.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“What time is it?" Lula asked. "I might need a doughnut. Is it doughnut time?"
"I'm thinking about eating healthier," I said. "More vegetables and fewer doughnuts."
"What's that about?"
"I don't know. It just came over me."
"It's a bad idea. What do I look like, Mr. Green Jeans? How would it sound if I said it's vegetable time? People would think I was a nut. Nobody gets a craving for a vegetable. And I'm the one on the diet. What am I gonna do with one carrot or one asparagus? They are not mood enhancers, if you see what I'm saying."
"I see what you're saying, but there aren't any doughnuts between here and Ernie's house."
"I guess I could wait. And maybe you're right about the healthy eating. I'm gonna get a carrot cake doughnut.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Morelli grinned down at me. "I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“him,”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“diffuse the alarm.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“White shears”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“figure you gotta have the right attitude about this stuff. Take Dolly, for instance. Dolly was gonna try to keep her lunch date, which is a good thing, because life gotta go on. And even though he was dead, Dirk sort of looked like he was smiling.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“I’m only getting one doughnut,” Lula said, getting out of the Firebird. “I’m on a new diet where I only have one of anything. Like I can have one pea. And I can have one piece of asparagus. And I can have one loaf of bread.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“flare”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“What is it with men and gazongas? It’s not like women got a nut fixation. It’s not like we go around looking for some guy with basketballs hangin’ down to his knees.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“every other aspect of his life. He had the”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen