Bound to the Battle God Quotes

“He sniffs my hair again, and I wonder if he's hard right now. Is he overcome with lust for me? "You smell bad," Aron says. “When was the last time you bathed?” Man, fuck this guy.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“The only thing I want to do with you and that water is hold your head under until you twitch.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I’m still not entirely sure how I got here. The kids from Narnia went through a wardrobe dresser and became kings. The chick from Outlander touched some stones and ended up with a hot kilted Scotsman.

  Me, I knock on my neighbor’s door because I hear voices shouting, and the next thing I know, I’m being shoved in a slave pen and referred to as “Tart.”

  Hollywood has definitely misled me.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I'm pregnant," I blurt.
He stares at me. "With a baby."
I slap his chest. "No, with a fucking roasted chicken. Yes, with a baby!”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“There is a real rapey vibe to this place. Goody.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I appreciate it. It’s the right thing to do.”

  “You make it sound as if I’m doing it for you,” Aron says, amused. He studies my face for a moment longer and then releases me.

  “Well, aren’t you?” I retort back. “Doing this for me? Unless you were planning on doing it before I said anything out of the goodness of your own heart?”

  “No,” he admits with a chuckle. “It did not occur to me.”

  “That’s why I’m here,” I tell him sassily, turning back toward the cottage.

  “So you can be my heart?” he asks as I start to walk away.

  My own heart skips a beat. I smile as I hold my sleeve to my nose and head for the cottage.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Tonight, I get to sleep in luxury at least. Come here, my pretty," I tell a pillow, and tuck it under my face. Oh man, this is heaven. "I'm going to be sad to leave you all behind tomorrow. Shhh, don't cry." I stroke a pillow. "I will remember you in my dreams."

  Aron snorts.

  "Oh, what's that?" I tell the pillow, still pretending to have a conversation. "Aron's a dick? I know, right? I'm not sure why he's so against you either, considering this is his tent. Well, not his tent, but Bad Aron's tent. It's okay, though." I pet the pillow one more time and fight a yawn. "If you love something, set it free and all that. You'll be free in the morning, pillow. Just right after I'm done with you.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“This is... you're certain, Faith?" When I nod, his face splits into a boyish grin. "A child."
"Or a roasted chicken. You guess which one.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“You wish to serve me in all ways?" The tone of his voice is arrogant, his expression practically a sneer. He also makes it sound as if serving him is going to have layered implications, and I can guess what some of those layers are by his tone.
All ways means exactly what I think it means.
I do my bet to look unfazed and make a joke.
"Does that mean butt stuff? Because I draw the line at butt stuff.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“You smell bad," Aron says. “When was the last time you bathed?”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I shiver at the deadly confidence in his voice and the meaning behind his words. I hug my clothes tighter to my body. “Well, if you grab my tit, I’m going to be pissed.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I knew he was well equipped, I mean, no god is going to have a teeny weenie.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“God, this guy really is a dick. I hate that I let him grab my ass.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I guess a god doesn't like to be told to put pants on. Its kind of funny, in a surreal sort of way. Of course, knowing that makes me want to peek at his junk. The way he is seated, I can't see anything, but how often does a girl get to see god-dick? If he really is a god. I figure I can't be blamed for being curious, but I don't get up from my spot on the floor to peer.
Even I'm not that dumb.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I don't want to be his little slave, but I don't want to die either. This is the medieval equivalent of "Tits or GTFO" isn't it? My fear gives way to anger.
Fuck this guy.
Fuck all these guys.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I don't want to be his little slave, but I don't want to die either. This is the midivil equivalent of "Tits or GTFO" isn't it? My fear gives way to anger.
Fuck this guy.
Fuck all these guys.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I can always peck someone to death like the worlds angriest blonde chicken.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“That looks like the last one for a bit. We’ll climb out there.”

  “Is it safe?” I can’t help but ask.

  “None of this is safe,” he tells me, voice cutting. “But we can’t stay here all night.”

  “Why not? We’re already covered in poop.”

  “Because this is a sewer and the water’s rising.” Aron looks at me like I’m stupid. “The tide’s coming in. Unless you want to drown in someone else’s shit, we have to get out of here.”

  “It is?” I look down and sure enough, I guess the water (if you can call it that) is higher than it was before. I thought it was because the tunnel was just, getting deeper in this part, but it’s past my knees and soaking the hem of my tunic. “I didn’t realize.”

  “How is it I’m the immortal and you’re the one that has no clue how a city works?”

  I slap his arm, irritated. “Don’t you start that shit with me. You want to know how it works where I live? We go into a tiny little room, sit on a toilet, take a dump, and then jiggle a handle and the magic poo gods take it all away. Whoosh. That’s it. That’s the extent of my knowledge. Once a month I pay the water bill and that’s all I do. So if your stupid city doesn’t work the way my stupid city did, don’t blame me.”

  I glare at him, waiting for his answer.

  He just watches me. His mouth twitches, just a little. Finally, he says, slowly, “Magic poo gods?”

  I throw my hands up in the air. “You’re impossible and I hate you. If we’re leaving, let’s just go.”

  “Should we say a prayer to the magic poo gods first?” When I shoot him the bird, he snorts with amusement. “Here I thought you didn’t believe in any gods.”

  “There’s just one where I come from, and he doesn’t put up with any lesser god bullshit like this place, thank you.” I stomp ahead, splashing through the horrible, sludgy water so I can get away from my equally horrible companion.

  Aron’s laughter rumbles through the sewer pipe, and I ignore him, pushing forward. I’m so tired and the night has been so long. To think I just took a bath and now I’m covered in crap and mud once more. It’s like this entire world is conspiring against me. Heck, maybe it is. Maybe I’ve been cursed since I stepped through that
portal. Given that I’m stuck with the infuriating Aron, I believe it. One minute I think he might be okay, and the next I want to choke him.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“It's getting colder by the hour and my clothes aren't much in the way of warmth. "Can we build a fire?"

  "And draw attention to ourselves? Should we just go lie in the road, spread eagle, and wait for them to step upon us—"

  "A simple 'no' would suffice," I tell him, interrupting. "You don't have to be such a dick every time I say something, you know.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Yawning, I crawl into bed as Aron sharpens his knives, and I'm just about to drift off to sleep when the lumpy hay mattress sinks in on one side, and then a big body crawls into bed next to me.

  "For real?" I groan as Aron promptly shoves his way onto the narrow mattress and proceeds to take up most of the bed. "You don't even have to sleep."

  “You know this is how I protect you best.”

  "What's going to attack me while I sleep?" I ask, yawning.

  "A wizard could send poisonous snakes to rise up from the floor, creep into bed and kill you."

  Jesus. I'm awake now. I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling as Aron shifts next to me, trying to get comfortable. "So undead, snakes from the floor, gods wandering the earth…anything else I should know about in this world of yours so I can never sleep again? Dragons? Killer mermen?"

  "Don't be foolish. Mermen are long dead."

  "You didn't say dragons were."

  "Do not go looking for dragons, then," he says, and I don't know if he's joking or not.

  "I'm not a big fan of this whole place, just so you know."

  "Neither am I. ”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I don't know that someone as unexciting as Faith Gordon is destined to be the lover of a force of nature. I mean, my last boyfriend left me for an accountant. If that doesn’t tell you everything about my life, nothing will.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Okay, maybe no one wanted to hitch their wagon to his because he’s a vampire.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“You’re mine and I’m yours, remember? You tell me that every time I turn around.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“What is your name? What are you called?”

Oh. I guess I should be insulted that he’s never thought to ask until this point. Maybe I’ve got super-low expectations when it comes to Aron, because I’m kind of flattered he actually asked. “I told you before. My name is Faith.”

“You told me before, but I did not care before.” When I scowl at him, he arches that scarred brow at me. “Faith does not sound like a regular name. What is next? Door? Boat?”

“Okay, okay. Let’s just focus on the task at hand, all right?” I tell him tightly, and turn back to glaring out at the water.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“A tub full of water, at least five climaxes a day, and all the food you can stuff into your mouth.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“I still bend over and puke on some poor person's headstone.
Markos gives my back a pat. "Hurry it along, Faith. More will be coming."
Right. Right. Never mind that I just murdered two soldiers that were doing their jobs. This is war.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“We require supplies," Aron tells them imperiously. "Food and drink for travel. A mount. And my consort needs a bath."
"Dude, are you going to tell everyone we meet that I need a bath? You're going to give me a complex." I make a face at his back.
"I will until you stop smelling"
"I don't smell," I tell him, lifting my sleeve to my nose and inhaling. "I...oh god, okay, I still smell like sewer." Bile rises in my throat and I choke, waving a hand in the air. "Never mind.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Frustrated, I glare up at my captor, but he just grins down at me as if I'm the most adorable little runaway slave he's ever seen, no doubt mentally counting money in his head. I hate this guy.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Then again, Aron doesn't seem all that concerned so that must be normal.
Then again, Aron doesn't know how to work a door.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“It takes everything I have to maintain eye contact, because every time he moves, the jiggle of his hog is distracting.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God