After Ever After Quotes

“Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Oh, good lord, Jeff. Don't go getting all emotional on me. I've been getting it from my mom, my dad, my sister, the freaking MAILMAN--I don't need it from you, too. All I ask is that you promise me one thing.'
'What?'
'Just water the plants while I'm gone, all right?'
'You don't have plants, Tad.'
'I know. I just always wanted to say that.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Not fair? Oh, I'm sorry I get this lovely laptop computing device when all you get is the ability to walk, control your hands, and know you'll survive until your eighteenth birthday." Then the kid was going, "Uh, I didn't mean..." But Tad wasn't done yet. While the whole class watched in horror, he put his hands through the metal support braces on the arms of his wheelchair and forced himself to stand up. Then he took a shaky little step to the side, gestured toward the chair, and said, "Why don't you take a turn with the laptop? You can even have my seat.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor.
Person #1: And how's that working out for you?

Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia.
Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD?

Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five.
Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out...”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“He also said that if anyone did anything to mess up the rest of the testing, he was going to call 911 personally.
Yeah, like that wouldn't make it into the nightly news again: WHEELCHAIR-BOUND CANCER PATIENT ARRESTED FOR FREE SPEECH.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“GET ON THE TREADMILL!”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Tattitude: Wow, Jeff, who's the babe?

Dangerous_pie: Your mom.

Tattitude: No, the one three feet away from you.

Dangerous_pie: Oh, that's Lindsey Abraham. I had her flown in from California for my personal amusement. You can look at her if you want, though.

Tattitude: Sweet. But have you talked to her yet?

Dangerous_pie: Uh-huh. We're really close.

Tattitude: Intro me?

Dangerous_pie: After class.

Tattitude: Duh.

Just then, I noticed that a large shadow had fallen over my screen. I couldn't even bear to look up as Mr. Laurenzano said, "Thaddeus Ibsen, Lindsey Abraham. Lindsey, Thaddeus. There, you've been introduced. NOW can I teach some science?"
Wow, it looked like this was going to be my year for unusual teachers.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Hi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?'
'Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just...I mean, Tad was...uh, nope.'
'So what were you guys talking about?'
'Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing...umm...hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind.'
'There's another kind?' Lindsey asked.
'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“The only time I can ever remember Steven crying over any of it was after my treatment, when I tried to use my foot on his bass drum pedal, and we realized I could never play a drum set.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Or maybe...their biggest fear is that they will get close to you again, and you'll go and drop dead.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“He said he "admired our courage" but didn't want to see us do anything to "damage our promising futures." He felt "proud as an American" that we had "exercised our right to peaceful free expression." But if we did it again, he didn't "know what action the state board of education might take against individual students."
Translation: You've had your fun. Now sit down, shut up, and take the freakin' test. Or else.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“All right, Jeffy. Here are some big-boy pants. Put 'em on and crank out fifty miles for me. By the way, the iPod only has one playlist on it. Press play when you leave the starting line, okay?”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“It was a cheesy cheeseball, covered with Cheez Whiz and served on a bed of Cheez-Its. With a side of queso.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Kind of a wuss? Kind of a wuss? Dude, you are, like, the Duke of Wussendorf. The Earl of Wussheim. In fact, wherever wusses meet and mingle, your name is whispered in hushed, reverent tones.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had to do the whole thing again. Which Lindsey found hilarious. "Ok" she said. "Are you ready NOW, or do we have to send you back to Button Pushing one-oh-one?" "Um, what's Button Pushing One-oh-one?" I was wearing a button down shirt that day. Lindsey reached out and poked one of the buttons into my chest. "There, that's how you push a button. Any questions?”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I heat oats.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“...I know that the purpose is to keep moving forward. To stick with the people you love, even when they push you away. Even when they're hurting, and especially when you're hurting.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“...a big part of why we're here is to support the people around us.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“your mother and I have always been close.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After