The Self-Worth Safari Quotes

“As the foundation of all progress with self-worth is acceptance, we build self-worth by asserting our value, not assessing it. Self-worth is a declaration, not an evaluation. There are no scales, no points, no scores out of a hundred, no preconditions. There is but a single assertion: “Because I’m worth it” or your own equivalent.”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work

“When I’m acting out of low self-worth, I can beat myself up for hours for a silly mistake. Or attack the other person, in order to smoke-screen my dissatisfaction with myself. Or I may become anxious about my memory, worried about what else may be slipping out of control. I react to the other person’s angry words, instead of just seeing the hunger or tiredness or anxiety behind them. I feel slighted or humiliated or resentful about the way I’ve been spoken to. In a hundred different ways, I re-experience my inner suspicion of being “less than” or “not enough.”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work

“Our relationship with ourselves significantly affects how we interact with other people. Our self-esteem frequently depends on how we feel we are “doing” at relationships. Given that this fluctuates, so does our self-esteem. Intellectually, we may tell ourselves that it shouldn’t, but when have emotions ever obeyed the intellect?”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work

“You can change careers, friends, and even partners, but the body always comes with you. You cannot emigrate from your body. Cosmetic surgery may be capable of removing the pockets from under the eyes—at least for a few years. […] The body is the house that we always reside in. […] When we talk about self-worth, we are not just referring to some inner “ghost in the machine.” We include hands, feet, legs, belly, chest, and shoulders. Whatever age these parts of us may be, whether they are too big or too small, too long or too short, even healthy or sick, when can we make peace with each vital part of ourselves and recognize its intrinsic value?”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work

“Asserting requires action. Self-worth is an active process, not a passive state. When we start asserting our worth, we do healthy things like eat well, exercise, and consciously choose people and activities that are good for us. We do a couple of things each day to improve our lives—because we are already worth it.”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work

“My biggest concern with positive affirmations is not so much whether they work or not, but that they reinforce this tyrannical imperative of positive thinking (and self-esteem). In this kingdom of positivity, there is no room for down days. When my friend cannot be positive, will she be even harder on herself? That’s the problem with positive thinking: it’s a plant with shallow roots. We need deep roots to sustain us through prolonged harsh conditions. Hence the insistence on planting self-worth in deep soil, below the shallow layer of all assessments.”
― John Niland, The Self-Worth Safari: Valuing Your Life and Your Work