The Midnight Mayor Quotes

“When last I checked, you were a sorcerer, not a Jedi."
"You've seen Star Wars?"
"Seen it and denounced it."
"You've denounced Star Wars?"
She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Hollywood should not glorify witches."
"I think you've missed the point..."
"I also denounce Harry Potter."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Because..."
"...because literature, especially children's literature, should not glorify witches."
"Oda, what do you do for fun?"
She thought about it, then said, without a jot of humor, "I denounce things.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“He glanced up as I entered, and for a moment, looked almost surprised.
"Mr. Swift!"
"Ta-da!" I exclaimed weakly.
"You're still..."
"Still not dead. That's me. It's my big party trick, still not being dead, gets them every time.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Curiosity may have killed the cat, but paranoia was what tied it up in a sack and buried it in wet concrete.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Men don't ask other men if they're getting home OK, they just assume that beneath the frail, weak exterior lurks a muscle-building kung fu master fearless of ever being mugged.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Paranoia seems more reasonable when you've got twelve stitches in your side.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“We were beginning to understand why, in pre-anaesthetic days, the Bible had stipulated that suicide was a sin. Anything other than the prospect of eternal damnation, and the human race would probably have done away with itself at the first sign of the dentist.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Someone says 'inauguration' in my line of work, and you can just bet there'll be freaky shit. It's like quests. You get told to 'go forth and seek the travelcard of destiny' and you know, I mean, you seriously know that it won't have just been left down the back of the sofa.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Always be polite to possible murderers: that was the twenty-four-hour-shopping philosophy.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“I was the apprentice of Robert James Bakker. I'm sure you've heard of him. I am a sorcerer. I was there when Bakker died. We... made it happen. I too have met death, and did not have to peel the bones away from my chest to survive the encounter. I am also, and incidentally, the Midnight Mayor, the blue electric angels, the fire in the wire, the song in the telephones, and we are having a bad week. Be smart; fear us.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“I got dressed. You can't be Midnight Mayor in your underpants.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Whoever had said in the guidebooks that the bum bag was a sensible device against theft had lied; no single item of dressware ever invented cried out "mug me" more than a pouch of zip-up plastic suspended by your groin.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“I looked at Judith. "This sounds strange, but I don't suppose you saw three mad women with a cauldron of boiling tea pass by this way?"
"No," she replied. The polite voice of reasonable people scared of exciting the madman.
"Flash of light? Puff of smoke? Erm..." I tried to find a polite way of describing the symptoms of spontaneous teleportation without using the dreaded "teleportation" word. I failed. I slumped back into the sand. What kind of mystic kept a spatial vortex at the bottom of their cauldrons of tea anyway?”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“We ran, as graceful as a burst beetroot.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Never argue with the surreal; there’s no winning against irrationality.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“There was almost a flicker of humanity in the man. The kind of human who pulled wings off flies as a kid, but still human.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“But it's not healthy!” replied the Hag. “A mortal and a god sharing the same flesh?”
“You know, this isn't why we're here. I can get abuse pretty much wherever.”
“Yeah,” sighed the Maid, “but I bet a tenner I can make you cry in half a minute.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“You've seen Star Wars?'
'Seen it and denounced it.'
'You've denounced Star Wars?'
She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Hollywood should not glorify witches.'
'I think you've missed the point...'
'I also denounced Harry Potter.'
'Really?'
'Yes.'
'Because...'
'...because literature, especially children's literature, should not glorify witches.'
'Oda, what do you do for fun?'
She thought about it, then said, without a jot of humour, 'I denounce things.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“The majority of the employees here are civilians," explained my Alderman guide/protector/companion/would-be-executioner as we strode without a word to the security guards through the foyer towards the lifts. "They conduct themselves within perfectly standard financial services and regulations. There is one specialist suboperational department catering to the financing of more...unusual extra-capital ventures, and the executive assets who operate it have to undergo a rigorous level of training, psyche evaluation, personality assessment, and team operational analyses."
We stared at him, and said, "We barely understood the little words."
"No," he replied, "I didn't think you would.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“The whole calamity would be in one of those police reports that D. B. Sinclair and his "concerned citizens" filed carefully under "T" for "Things" at the back of a locked filing cabinet in the vehicle-licensing centre a day before a bonfire got accidentally out of control.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“We burn because of the beauty in the burning, because life is precious, extraordinary, and we would live as if we were on fire with the brightness of it.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“The armored men counted to three, then burst inside the flat, shouting impressive things like "clear!" or "go go go!" as they did. Oda said, "Gum?"
"You chew gum?"
"No. but I always carry it, to use as barter when visiting prisons."
"Do you see how I'm not asking you?"
"Smart.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Coincidence is usually mentioned only when something good happens. Whenever it’s something bad, it’s easier to blame someone, something.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“The mind forgets pain, the physical sensation of pain. It doesn’t forget terror.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Even if you’ve no idea where you’re going, you have to look like you do. It’s what keeps the locals different from the strangers.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“How dare they shrug and say, ‘whatever’; how dare they forget the size, the beauty, the wonder, the scale, the life, the vibrancy, the glory, the miracle! How dare a stranger spit in another’s face, how dare a stranger strike a woman down, knowing it is cruelty without consequence, how dare you throw your litter into the street and wait for the cleaner to pick it up, how dare you park your car and shrug at the rules, how dare you scream at the policeman, how dare you curse the bus driver, how dare you steal a traffic warden’s hat, how dare you show such contempt?”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“of shoes, the one and only; they have to be perfect, they have to be right.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“It’s a lie that women care more than men about their shoes. Women may buy more pairs, to match up with this or that outfit, or to serve this or that purpose, but they do it easily, with a casual statement of “I’m going to buy some shoes now”. Men, when they buy shoes, invest body and soul in the effort. This is not just a pair of shoes - this is the pair”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Work is routine, routine is ordinary, and there is always some salvation to be found in the ordinary.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“It was lateish, that odd hour of the night when it’s justifiable to go to bed, but somehow it’s not honourable”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“the people of the city were either in their deepest dreams or wide awake, burning up with loneliness and imagination as shadows and sounds twisted into alien forms, untouched by the blanket of daylight bustle.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor