Not If I Can Help It Quotes

“I feel like a kite being jerked around by gusts and occasional hurricane-speed winds. Maureen, my occupational therapist, says that’s part of having Sensory Processing Disorder. It’s hard to explain Sensory Processing Disorder—I guess it means that it’s harder for me to be a person in the world than it is for most people. Like how I hate slimy textures and the taste of eggs makes me gag and I can never wear shirts with tight collars or jeans that squeeze my knees. I hate bright overhead lights, and having my toenails trimmed makes me howl in pain. And don’t even talk to me about perfume. Total chemical overload. But, at the same time, I love being squeezed by a body sock and I can’t get enough of certain tastes, like passion fruit. I could taste passion fruit forever. Beyond touch and taste and smell issues, it’s also hard for me to control my energy level, and I’m kind of clumsy and I’m always losing things. Water bottles are the worst. I lose my water bottle every few weeks. My mom says she first noticed something was different about me when I was a toddler and she took me to a Music Together class. While the other kids danced in a circle and shook their plastic gourds, I hid in a corner of the gym and beat a drum until long after the song was over. And then there were other things. I kept falling onto the sidewalk and chipping my baby teeth. And I couldn’t climb out of the sandbox like all the other kids. And even though I hated my music class, I loved pounding pots and pans and making my own noise. That’s why Sensory Processing Disorder is hard to explain. It’s different in every person. For me, I hate some textures and love others. Like I love nachos and popcorn because they’re awesome to crunch. But I can’t stand the crunch of a baby carrot. I can chew a baby carrot for ten minutes and still have a mouthful of orange gunk. Sometimes I hate crowds and other times I love being surrounded by people. And my shins? Covered in bruises. I’m not chipping teeth anymore but I’m still clumsy. When I was four, I started going to occupational therapy. For a few years, I also saw a physical therapist who taught me how to jump and climb, and I had appointments with a speech therapist who gave me bumpy plastic toys to chew. I even had a special teacher following me around in preschool, telling me not to hug other children so hard they’d topple over. I doubt I ever hugged Avery Tanaka back in preschool, but my mom told me that once at pickup I tried to bite her sweatshirt. Yeah, I was a weird kid.”
― Carolyn Mackler, Not If I Can Help It

“My occupational therapist, Maureen, has taught me to always have an emergency pack of gum for times like these.”
― Carolyn Mackler, Not If I Can Help It

“Even though she’s had her palate expander for as long as I’ve known her, it still brings on extreme drool.”
― Carolyn Mackler, Not If I Can Help It

“If he were a LEGO minifigure, he would have a phone in one yellow claw-shaped hand, and the other claw-shaped hand would be raised like I’ll be off this call in a second.”
― Carolyn Mackler, Not If I Can Help It

“Just then, a golden retriever walks toward us. Golden retrievers are my favorite dogs. I watch it lumber by, its feathery tail waving like a flag.”
― Carolyn Mackler, Not If I Can Help It