Officer Spence Makes No Sense! Quotes

“I want you to open that cabinet over the sink slowly,” Officer Spence ordered. “And then back away. No false moves, Cooney!” Mrs. Cooney went and opened the cabinet over the sink. There were some bandages in there and some bottles of aspirin. “Aha!” Officer Spence hollered. “Aspirin! Can you get that stuff in a drugstore?” “Well, yes, of course,” Mrs. Cooney said. “Just as I suspected!” Officer Spence shouted. “You’re a drug dealer!” “WHAT?!” “You’re handing out drugs to innocent children!” Officer Spence yelled as he wheeled in a portable jail cell. “You should be ashamed of yourself. How do you sleep at night?” “I take NyQuil,” Mrs. Cooney said.”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

“Mrs. Roopy, Mrs. Yonkers, Ms. Hannah, Mr. Loring, Miss Small.”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

“PRINCIPAL SPENCE?!”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

“Bon appétit!”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

“Skippy and Jif”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

“I hate school. I”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!