The New Codependency Quotes

“We can confuse love with dependency, manipulation, and neediness. None of those are love. Love is when we want other people to be who they are.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“It’s not my place to tell him to stop drinking,” Shelly said. “But being with him or talking to him when he’s drunk is my business.” That’s the difference between boundaries and controlling. We can’t make a person stop drinking. But we can refuse to talk to or date that person. Boundaries concern our behavior—what we will or won’t do. It’s not a boundary if we can’t enforce it. Be clear. If people have room to misinterpret, they will. People hear what they want to and what causes the least pain. We won’t be clear with others if we’re not clear with ourselves. Sometimes we don’t like their behavior, but we don’t want to lose the relationship, so our boundaries are murky.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“When you let go of fear and the need to control, you’ll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Codependency is normal behavior, plus. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. We forget where the other person’s responsibilities begin and our responsibilities stop. Or we get busy and have so much to do that we neglect ourselves.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Set boundaries even when you’re scared, and when it doesn’t feel comfortable to do. Eventually setting boundaries will happen naturally for you,”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“It’s not what we don’t know that hurts us,” people say. “It’s what we believe is true that isn’t that does the damage.” There”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“We don’t learn about taking care of ourselves the way we learn math. Although information is useful and sometimes critical, self-care isn’t only an intellectual process. It’s our experiences that change us.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Sometimes one moment of awareness does more than months of hard work.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“I gave until I was depleted and needed someone to take care of me. I threatened, begged, hinted, and manipulated to get what I wanted. I was convinced that I knew what was best for other people. I got so busy teaching them their lessons that I forgot to learn mine. Within”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Most recovering addicts and alcoholics have codependency underneath.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Sometimes we outgrow a group or sponsor. It’s okay to do that without guilt as long as we’re not in denial. As we grow, our recovery needs will change. Be flexible and open, and Life will show you what to do.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“We develop a personal relationship with God, a Higher Power of our understanding. We find meaning in every detail of our lives; there isn’t anything that we did or that happened to us that can’t be used for good. We finally find our purpose”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

“Take one or two steps more. Right around the bend is when we’ll see the Light. God isn’t late. We’re early. Don’t be impatient. Instead, be present for the moment we’re in now.”
― Melody Beattie, The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation