That Guy Quotes

“That’s one of the perks of being a writer. You get to put mean people in a book. And then you get to kill them.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” Oh. My. God. Is this were a book, that would be the most highlighted line in it. “I love you, Penelope Lane Hart. You’re my That Girl.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“For fuck’s sake, Penelope Hart…you’re making me fall in love with you.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“So I smile, lift my glass and toast the next best thing. “To staying positive and testing negative.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“I’ll be rich. As. Fuck. A few million dollars makes having herpes totally worth it. Plus, there’s all this advanced medicine these days. It’s a win-win for me. For him? Not so much.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“Well, when you’re walking down the hall mumbling, light as a feather, stiff as a board, how else am I supposed to treat you?”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“He kisses me stupid. Kisses me careless. Kisses me into another universe. Until Chicago is no longer at my back, but worlds away.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“Mother of fuck, woman. You’re like a goddamn fungus!”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“I want to dry hump his chair and rub my vagina on the walls to mark my territory.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“On a scale from one to ten, how hard is it to find a fresh pile of dog shit in Topeka?”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“To hell with the Cantons. I’d let you put it in my butt if you took me back to the hotel.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“Apparently, there is a band. They’re not playing yet, but they’re setting up. Doesn’t matter. I’d dance with Briggs to the Oscar Mayer bologna theme song. This classical elevator music will do just fine.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy

“one. “Valentino.”
― Kim Jones, That Guy