Jeeves and the King of Clubs Quotes

“Properly cared for, a Savile Row suit can be handed down the generations—like gout.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“There are, of course, three ways to hide behind a sofa.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Such diplomacy is not to be sneezed at, for the suit is a window to the soul: lightweight cotton when cash is tight, Italian cashmere when an inheritance lands; waistlines drawn in during illness or anxiety, and let out at times of excess. Weddings, funerals, christenings, and court appearances—all of life's landmarks are sanctified, quietly and confidentially, by one's tailor.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Madeline Bassett is the Charybdis to Florence Craye’s Scylla. Just as deadly to the seafaring community, but offering a subtly different form of death by drowning. Whereas Florence dashes you on the rocks of her intellectual disapproval, Madeline engulfs you in a sentimental whirlpool of froth.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“The only acceptable way to stand out, as far as valets and dog shows are concerned, is to combine sartorial purity (‘true to pedigree’) with fastidious uniformity (‘best in breed’).”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“When it comes to clothing, gentlemen’s personal gentlemen have a comprehensive vocabulary of euphemisms. ‘Bold’ translates as ‘ostentatious’, ‘lively’ as ‘clown-like’, and ‘striking’ as ‘obscene’.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Mr Wooster, you will have heard of the Official Secrets Act…?’ ‘Er–no.’ ‘Really?’ He had evidently assumed his question to be rhetorical, and was fairly startled by my lacuna. ‘Just goes to prove how effective it is, what?”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Timbale”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“The seventh Earl of Sidcup is a sore for sighted eyes. It’s as if evolution took a wrong turn, got stuck in a cul-de-sac, and just threw in the sponge.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“I’ve given him teddy bears, daisy chains, and heaps of adorable billikens, but I wonder if I’m missing the masculine angle.’ ‘It sounds as if you might be.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Sleep no more!’ I cried. ‘Montgomery doth murder sleep.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Aunt logic is an immovable object; aunts themselves an unstoppable force.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“the pre-lunch diary is unblemished by obligation,”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Aunts, I have learned, never admit defeat. In the face of overwhelming forces, or incontestable facts, they simply change tack. Had Napoleon been an aunt, he would never have done anything so vulgar as to ‘retreat’ from Moscow. Rather, he would have framed his return to Paris casually as a question of clothing and etiquette, noting it was unseasonably cold for October and declaring that–like fish and family–armies of invasion go off after three days.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“Moister than an oyster, Monty.”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs

“It’s love, Bertie, but love unrequited. Although she is the apple of my eye, to her I am no more than a pip. I need”
― Ben Schott, Jeeves and the King of Clubs