The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It) Quotes

“A voice came from outside. "Give yourselves up. We have you surrounded."
"You can't have us surrounded," Penelope yelled back. "The outhouse backs against a stone wall."
"Fine. We have you semicircled, then."
Penelope grimaced. "They're using math against us.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Just as Greystone swung, however, she ducked low and rolled in the other direction. Greystone's blade struck the window, and it exploded in a shower of glass. The shards flew in all directions, and a great gust of wind from the storm sent him stumbling back.
As soon as Anne was back on her feet, she raised her gauntlet-hand. "Activate GPS!"
Jeffery appeared in a burst of light. He was still a bit faded, but at least he was there.
Anne nearly collapsed with relief.
"You're cutting it close, you know," said Jeffery. "Although I do like a dramatic entrance."
As if to emphasize the point, a bolt of lightning lit up the sky.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Anne lifted her gauntlet-hand above her head.
"Active Three-Handed Sword," she said, grabbing the holographic copy of the sword out of the air as soon as it appeared.
Octo-Horse Pirate raised his rapier, holding it over his head for a few seconds, and then dropped his arm.
"Attack!" he shouted.
"For Saint Lupin's!" shouted Anne.
The five armies launched themselves at one another.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“The five armies faced off. Octo-Horse Pirate and his army of doppelgangers looked quick and dangerous, while the army of wizards and iron knights from the secret Wizards' Council warehouse appeared strong and menacing. The guards from the Pyrate Museum gripped their swords and seemed ready for a fight. Anne, Penelope, Hiro, and the staff from Saint Lupin's stood with captain Marri Blackwood and her pirate crew, and a contingent of dragons led by their king, Valerian, swarmed the skies and the castle battlements.
"Oh, man, this is going to be epic!" said Penelope, twirling her sword.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Jocelyn surveyed the awaiting armies. "Would you care to bring us up to speed?" she asked. "Keeping in mind you will be graded on both the conciseness of your summary as well as the relevance of the details."
Anne pointed at the third tower. "The supreme leader of the pirate factions stole my quest, and now I'm the Official Antagonist. We need to get in there and stop the castle before it plunges into the rift and brings down the BGFM, which is really a magical barrier dividing the world in two and preventing a terrible corruption trapped on the other side from infecting the entire Hierarchy."
"That... might be a little too concise.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Sometimes sacrifices must be made."
"I agree," said Anne. "But just who and what a person is willing to sacrifice says a lot about them, don't you think? And in any case, what gives you the right to decide how the world should be?"
"Nothing," Octo-Horse Pirate said matter-of-factly. "Nothing gives me the right. I merely have the power. When you have that, you don't need the right. Why does no one ever seem to understand that?”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Octo-Horse Pirate stepped forward and cleared his throat. All eyes turned toward him.
"Not to be 'that guy' or anything, but technically we were here first," he said. "Normally I would just let things play out, but I've invested a fair amount of time into organizing all of this, and you're sort of stepping on my moment."
The lieutenant and the chief mumbled their apologies and stepped back to stand with their respective armies.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Octo-Horse Pirate placed a hand on the hilt of his rapier. "And if I decide to fight you?"
"Ha!" said Penelope. "You and what army?"
"Why, this one, of course."
Octo-Horse Pirate gave a whistle. Footsteps echoed from every direction as hundreds of figures stepped out of the shadows on the walls above and filled the perimeter of the courtyard. Several walked forward and stood next to Octo-Horse Pirate. Penelope's double was there, as were the doubles of the pirate crew. Anne thought she even recognized the faces of people she'd met during her first two quests, such as the villagers in the Black Desert and some of the guards from the Sapphire Palace. Every single one of them wore a dragon stone.
Doppelgangers.
Indeed, an entire army of them.”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Anne stared through the open doorway, a look of comprehension on her face. "Hiro, what spell did you cast?"
"I thought it said Chain Lightning," said Hiro.
Penelope yanked the catalog out of his hand and examined it. "Two of the pages are taped together, you ninny. You ready the first part of Chain Lightning and the second part of Summon Chicken Swarm." She handed the catalog back to him. "Congratulations, O Master of Magick, you just invented chicken lightning."
Hiro looked horrified[.]”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

“Manor”
― Wade Albert White, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure