How the Vortex Changed My Life Quotes

“With the apocalypse ended, Connor and I could have explored our connection further. Other couples had met under weird circumstances before. Okay, most people didn't have an apocalypse to start a relationship.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“Larry bleated like a sheep and threw himself against the TV screen. After several repeated attempts at solericide, he dropped senseless to the floor.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“I guess. I don't look at my calendar to check if it's that time of the month. You know, is it a full moon, or is it a waxing crescent?”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“I felt small and insignificant, a frightened Red Riding Hood cowering before the big bad wolf. Thoughts of 'But Wolf, what a tall body you have! How tall are you?' flitted through my mind, with the rejoinder being 'The better to snap off your head, my dear.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“Damn you, girl, you're human. Why can't you have human buddies like the rest of us? It's just not natural. What's next? Group hugs with zombies?”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“He's like a gecko on crack if he thinks that.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“His form began to short circuit like a television picture going out of sync. Suddenly, where a small man had stood, a gigantic dog with three heads towered over me. I dropped the staff and stumbled backwards. Cerberus looked like a poodle gone wrong. Wow, that's one ugly, pink poodle.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“A large lantern appeared in one of Charun's hands. It glowed, illuminating him, me, and the immediate area. I saw him all the better for it, a tall rangy man, dressed in black jeans and a black and red plaid western shirt. He also wore snakeskin cowboy boots. Never had I imagined Charun, the Ferryman of the River Styx, dressed like that. He should be riding off into the sunset; not ferrying souls to the Elysian Fields.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“Now it looked like I would become Purina monster chow for some demonic creature and the world would be destroyed. My life sucked. I'd give anything to have my boring old existence back.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“A vortex opened not far from here and downtown Richmond is turning gray and I don't mean Confederate gray either. Richmond's new address is now a part of the Hell dimension. The whole world is doomed”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“This library is for humans only. I mean, non-human things can't get a library card issued to them.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“Look, Hell is taking over Richmond, and soon, Virginia, not long after, the U.S., and from there, maybe the world. So, get over it. Larry is not fake. He's a demon, plain and simple, but maybe you can't comprehend it. I know I couldn't at first. That means no more people checking out books, no more Christmas, cute fluffy kittens, no more anything good and right for humankind. Just demons, Hell, and the end of life as we know it.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“He's seen Larry. This won't be good.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“Just as I made a turn into my driveway, a gigantic quadrilateral of swirling neon colors—reds, purples, and hot pinks—appeared out of nowhere right smack in the middle of the street. It created a gale that blasted the neighborhood. Trees uprooted and flew into it, along with a couple of cars, a bicycle, and one yodeling cat.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life

“At age thirty-three my life was boring. Then the vortex opened.”
― Pamela K. Kinney, How the Vortex Changed My Life