The Tao of the Dippy Cat Quotes

“Waking up, for many people, is apparently a positive experience. There are twittering birds and the smell of fresh coffee fills the air.

These people do not live at my house.”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“She is an agent of the Devil, possibly escorted out of Hell for behavior which would make a demon go "Ooooo, that's nasty!”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“Little known fact- a cat which has just bitten itself in the ass can achieve impressive speed at it dashes madly straight up a curtain.”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“For some reason, possibly known only to my therapist, I decided that Dippy looked so adorable this morning, as she lay gently snoozing on my jacket, that she just had to allow me to cuddle her.

This was an error of a magnitude found somewhere between "invade Poland in the winter" and "hold my beer and watch this.”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“Dippy sniffs box. Dippy cannot comprehend challenging concepts such as "inside" and "outside"- attempts to balance on folded box edge.

Dippy falls off box. Box flips over onto Dippy.
As Shakespeare would say "There were then divers alarums and great shriekings as of demons or small children under the age of three.”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“She drowned all of the catnip mice in Nike's water bowl and I had to take them away after he began drinking the resulting 'nip tea, wearing overalls, and changing all the songs in my favorites playlist to the Grateful Dead.”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“Marshmallow the Outdoor Invader Cat... is not involved in this story. She is orange, has lots and lots of teeth, hangs out outside, and beats up raccoons for fun. She has also been known to jump a full-grown buck deer and mug squirrels. If she carried a wallet, it would look like the one Jules carried in Pulp Fiction.)”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings

“You know that feeling you get, when the sky has turned green, air raid sirens are blowing, the theme to the "Wizard of Oz" wafts softly through the air, your neighbor has just blown by backwards on her bicycle, and an ominous funnel cloud is hovering on the horizon?

Yeah, that feeling. the one that says that says "A picnic! That's what I need to do right about now! What could possible go wrong?”
― Amy Petrie Shaw, The Tao of the Dippy Cat: A Series of Uncomfortable Incidents and Horrible Happenings