Digging In Quotes

“What do you think people should say to someone who’s just lost a loved one? I don’t think there are many options.” Petra thought for a moment. “If you knew the person who died, I think you should share a memory, something you don’t think they’d know about. The wilder the better.” “And if you didn’t know the person who died?” “Then you should ask for a good memory that best describes him or her. Let the grieving person have a moment with that person again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“The only thing they had in common was the inability to organize.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I'm sorry.'
'For what?'
'For all of it.'
'No need to be. I'm living a life, you know? If people went around apologizing for every bad thing that happened to everyone, we'd be bored out of our fucking skulls.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“When someone leaves this world, everything else gets jostled because of the empty space. You’re gonna land in the wrong spot for a while. Sooner or later, you’ll find where you fit again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“At his service, everyone said he was still with me, but the truth was that not only was he gone, parts of me went with him. I missed them, too, and like Jesse, they weren’t coming back.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Everything can be learned, you know? Some people learn sooner, others later. Not a big deal if the outcome is the same.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Pick a few things you don’t want to let slide, and let the rest sort itself out,” he said gently after one particularly rough day. “When someone leaves this world, everything else gets jostled because of the empty space. You’re gonna land in the wrong spot for a while. Sooner or later, you’ll find where you fit again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“When you give something meaning, it’s worth remembering. We filter out the stuff that doesn’t touch our heart.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“That’s the beauty of a garden,” she said. “Some stuff works, some stuff doesn’t, and some stuff you think isn’t working ends up producing the following year. Keeps you living in a constant state of suspense, so whatever comes, you’re grateful for it.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“He was downing kombucha like a Brooklyn hipster on a bender and pacing the hallways endlessly.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Maybe life just unfolded like those ash snakes on the Fourth of July—messy and moving in unpredictable directions, sometimes longer and sometimes snuffing out before things really got started. If that were so, where would I find meaning in something that was so fundamentally unfair”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Maybe freedom had nothing to do with loss. Maybe it had everything to do with joy.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“mud covering their half-naked bodies, ancient creatures rising from the earth, at one with the natural world. I envied them, the joy they took from not caring, not giving even the tiniest bit of a shit. It looked exhilarating, their freedom, and I knew if I could somehow find the right door to open that I could be that free. At thirteen, I’d thought I would love the sight of all that mud,”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Pick a few things you don’t want to let slide, and let the rest sort itself out,” he said gently after one particularly rough day.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Everybody liked Frank, because Frank had that one quality no one could resist—he knew who he was and still liked himself.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Forever. Till death do us part. The thing is, no one tells you what to do when the parting happens. And they forget to explain that when death is sudden, the parting is actually a ragged tear, not a clean separation. It leaves all the ends unfinished, and they just unravel and unravel and . . .”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“better at recognizing it in others.” He went quiet a moment. “My parents were divorced, which is a whole different thing. I’m not comparing the two—” “Because that would be insensitive.” Someone came up to me after Jesse died and told me I was lucky because death was better than an acrimonious divorce. If I hadn’t been so weak from lack of eating, I would have punched her into the following week. Sean ran a hand over his face and took off his cap. In the sunlight, his red hair caught fire, all gold and orange and copper. “I’m not doing very well with this. What I’m trying to say is that the odds are with you with this one. A kid only needs one good parent to keep him anchored. He may float off and”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“It’s the kind that pulls you by the hair. The unexpected jolt. It’s merciless, and it doesn’t allow you to change cell by cell, cushioning the blow with time. It smacks you into a new reality. It forces you to examine things you’d rather leave under a rock.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“We can’t control life and death,” I said. “But we can control how we react to them.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I thought about all of the people who said they were sorry when Jesse died. I knew they meant it, and I appreciated it, but I wondered if there was something else I would have rather heard. 'What do you think people should say to someone who's just lost a loved one? I don't think there are many options.'

Petra thought for a moment. 'If you knew the person who died, I think you should share a memory, something you don't think they'd know about. The wilder the better.'

'And if you didn't know the person who died?'

'Then you should ask for a good memory that best describes him or her. Let the grieving person have a moment with that person again.'

'Couldn't that be too painful?' I asked.

'It's all painful. Listening to a hundred people apologize for something they had nothing to do with is excruciating, isn't it? They can't reverse anything with their apologies.'

I wasn't sure I agreed with her, but it was a fresh perspective. Petra was rough around the edges, but she had wisdom I suspected was hard-won.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Some of the best choices in my life I made not because I carefully thought through the potential outcomes but because I trusted my gut. It's okay to do that when that small part of your brain that you trust implicitly tells you to go for it.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I’m fucking twenty-nine years old. Could be a long life, you know?”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I wasn’t lucky enough to get . . . what is it? Charisma.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I’d pressed the “Pause” button on my life, and then lost the remote.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Some people learn sooner, others later. Not a big deal if the outcome is the same.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“They aren’t in it all the way. Mykia seems committed to what she’s doing because she’s got nothing to lose. In our case, we’re committed because we’ve got everything to lose. Does that make”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“no one tells you what to do when the parting happens. And they forget to explain that when death is sudden, the parting is actually a ragged tear, not a clean separation. It leaves all the ends unfinished, and they just unravel and unravel and . . .”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“You have to find your paper bag when you feel like you can’t get the air in,” Mykia said. She had an air of authority that had both boys hanging on her every word. “Is that what my mom’s doing?” Trey asked. “Is the garden her paper bag?” “Well,” Mykia said, resuming her dinner, “you are smarter than you look.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Some might have seen our life together as boring, but we knew how valuable boring was. Like order, boring was safe. We could rely on it.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“The few dinner parties we’d had were overshadowed by our own insecurities and desire for perfection.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In