The Science of Likability Quotes

“Equity theory holds that people seek to get as much as they can in any given relationship. And yet, if someone gets too much or too little, even according to the set rules of engagement, tension and distress are created in the person’s mind. The greater the inequality in a relationship, the greater tension and distress.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“Walster, Walster, and Berscheid proposed the theory of equal relationships in 1978. They investigated how relationships rife with inequity functioned and found that the best and happiest relationships have an internal score sheet as to who is sacrificing and serving more. In these relationships, both sides sought to keep it equal. As mentioned, people won’t want to feel like predators or prey.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“As you’ll discover, one of the running themes of this book is that human beings may seem very complex and nuanced, but often we make choices that are very straightforward and predictable—for instance, avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. You can come up with many theories about the motivations people have for certain things, but it’s a very simple subconscious process the vast majority of the time.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“But in reality, people subconsciously evaluate their relationships based on how much value they get from such relationships. It’s important to mention that value is subjective and doesn’t necessarily have to be in the form of any material or financial gain. Of course, we do value people who are valuable connections based on their wealth or status, but we also value people if they make us laugh, make us feel good, or act as our emotional crutches.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“It’s rude to look at your friendships and evaluate them based on how much you are benefiting from them. In essence, are your friendships and relationships purely transactional? Nobody likes to think this way—at least, not out loud. We would love to imagine that we are friends with our friends because they suit us the best, we enjoy their company, and they know us inside and out.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“Asking someone to perform a favor for you is also a subtle form of flattery. Imagine you are asking your nemesis at the office to help you with a report. The implication isn’t that you’re lazy or stupid. Rather, the implication is a greater recognition of their prowess as a whole. In other words, you recognize they are so skilled at what they do that you are willing to risk embarrassment to ask them for their help. You are submitting, showing your belly, and admitting to them you would like their help.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“Rather, the implication is a greater recognition of their prowess as a whole. In other words, you recognize they are so skilled at what they do that you are willing to risk embarrassment to ask them for their help. You are submitting, showing your belly, and admitting to them you would like their help.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“Cognitive dissonance is essentially the resolution of a conflict between people’s views, thoughts, and actions.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“According to studies, it is actually easier to turn an enemy into a friend than you realize, and they may not even realize that it’s happening. They’ll just notice they have fewer and fewer negative feelings toward you and less of a compulsion to curse your name. Sometimes that’s as good as anything.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“It’s unrealistic to have a high degree of investment in so many people.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“No one is everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“Eich and the other researchers devised a method to determine people’s mood simply by asking them a neutral question. The underlying assumption they relied upon was that people will react to a neutral question in a way that reflects how they feel. The answer isn’t important; it’s about whether people answer in a non-neutral way.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology

“When people subconsciously begin to associate you with positive moods and emotions, you are going to be the bell that makes people smile without realizing why.”
― Patrick King, The Science of Likability: 27 Studies to Master Charisma, Attract Friends, Captivate People, and Take Advantage of Human Psychology