Moving Kings Quotes

“The wife said, “That’s what it said in the pamphlet: follow in the footsteps of Jesus—but it didn’t say how many steps.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Or else the rallies are just for political bros to meet women. To try and fuck women. Divest, boycott. Enough with the torture, let’s bone.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Tammy said, “Or else it’s like an addiction. Politics is, or how you feel about what you are is, or how you feel about identity and what it makes you do. Same appetite. It all depends on what you like: uppers or downers.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“At least in America, you lose your house, you can get it back from the bank. In Israel, you lose it to the rockets.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Tammy said, “It’s all just a matter of being exhausted with whatever’s your normal. Over there, the Palestinians launch rockets and become suicide bombers—over here we just OD.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Meteorology is the study of how to wear a dress while pointing at Albany.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“After having served the State of Israel for 36 months, or 154 weeks, or 1,080 days, they exchanged their drabs for denims, beat their munitions into passports, and shipped beyond the sea to find their fortunes. To find themselves, or the selves they’d been, and to forget the commands that bound them.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“The girls had a misguided trust in the circumcised.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Though Yoav wasn’t quite able yet to discriminate between weekends and weekdays, American goyim and American Jews—Israel took off Fridays and Saturdays, the States took off Saturdays, Sundays, and apparently the rest of the summer.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“He was dismayed to find that his English—despite years of mandatory instruction in school, months of private lessons with a Bible studies PhD from Exeter visiting Israel to research Christ, repeated encounters with every episode of every season of Sex and the City (subtitled), sporadic encounters with Fast & Furious 1–6 (undubbed), and an aborted reading of the collected works of Sherlock Holmes (abridged)—sucked.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Sometimes you waited at home in your room so demobilized into quiet that you could just about feel the maskingtape losing its stick and your mortifying teenaged posters of American moviestars who were 50% Jewish and Argentinian-German models who were 100% hot, Uri Malmilian (the football striker), Uri Geller (the mentalist), and Ha’Tzanchanim (the Paratroopers), peeling slowly from the walls.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Among mankind’s greatest faults is his a) kindness, b) generosity, c) fortitude, d) contentment, e) vanity. That was debatable. But the Pythagorean theorem was not, and if the civilian Uri was one side and the soldier Uri was the other, the true him was the hypotenuse, slanted opposite, the squared sum of both.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Above everyone, though, was the customer, the King of King’s who was also the adversary.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“What shocked Yoav was that every couple he’d jobbed for had evinced this divide—straight or gay, irrespective of gender, there was always a leader, a commander, as implacable as an apartment’s dimensions, or a circuitbreaker impeding at midwall.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“Another thing about couples: they tended to move in together (hiring one crew for both members), but move out separately (hiring one crew for each member)—the lesson being that while making a life together took more toil, unmaking that life took more cash.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings

“David chopped and grimaced. “To be honest,” he said, “I never understood anything with a dick in it.”
― Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings