The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain Quotes

“I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.”
― Mark Twain, Stories

“Then the cow asked:
"What is a mirror?"
"It is a hole in the wall," said the cat. "You look in it, and there you see the picture, and it is so dainty and charming and ethereal and inspiring in its unimaginable beauty that your head turns round and round, and you almost swoon with ecstasy.”
― Mark Twain, Short Stories

“There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain (Author), The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain

“Benjamin Franklin, in his “Letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels” has canvassed suggested remedies for alleviating the stench attendant upon these discharges: “My Prize Question therefore should be: To discover some Drug, wholesome and — not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common food, or sauces, that shall render the natural discharges of Wind from our Bodies not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes.”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain: 169 Short Stories

“happliy ever after 2024!”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain

“The truth is, I have got my hero (or heroine) into such a particularly close place that I do not see how I am ever going to get him (or her) out of it again, and therefore I will wash my hands of the whole business, and leave that person to get out the best way that offers -- or else stay there. I thought it was going to be easy enough to straighten out that little difficulty, but it looks different now.”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain