Healing from Hidden Abuse Quotes

“Any personal growth that comes after abuse is a testimony to the strength of the survivor.   I”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“SURVIVOR: To remain alive; to carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere, to remain functional or usable, to live longer than; outlive, to persist or remain usable through, and to cope with a trauma or setback, to persevere after.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“psychological abusers damage others – not out of impaired judgement – but because they enjoy the control they gain from abusing people.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“An overload on emotional capacity is the reason people get to the point where they feel they cannot continue to stay in a relationship, remain at the same place of employment, continue in a one-sided friendship, struggle with the pressures created by a harmful spouse, try to meet unrealistic toxic family obligations, or whatever else might be at the core of an "I can't do this anymore" statement.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“What is common among all survivors is they will mentally replay conversations and situations concerning the abuser. They are looking for reasons why they were treated so badly. The confusion that comes with psychological abuse is one of the hardest to grasp. I often hear things like, “Something isn’t right with this person. I know I am not perfect, but I don’t treat people like this, and normal people don’t act this way.” That is correct. Normal people don’t play all the toxic games psychological abusers do, and yet, survivors end up initially blaming themselves. The ultimate of sad irony.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“I saw a quote that said, “When we know how to be happy, we won’t tolerate being around someone who makes us unhappy.” That is the truth.     How”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“At one point in my late twenties, I was granted a restraining order to keep myself safe from her. You know the wheels of the maternal cart have hurled off when your own adult daughter is granted a three-year stay away order.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Through No Contact, survivors can find ever-increasing distance from the malice that almost permanently ruined their lives.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“What I am saying is that your hope of the person being better someday must come to an abrupt end. When that takes place, a power shift occurs in the relationship. The survivor is now free to see the abuser with clarity.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The survivor delivers this message in a firm and clear tone of voice, not mad or screaming. Just stating the facts. Take it or leave it, toxic person. Survivors”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The key is to not follow the toxic person into their vortex of lies.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Many survivors will work their way through the first stage of Despair, second stage of Education, third stage of Awakening, and find themselves paralyzed at the fourth stage of Boundaries.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Boundaries have nothing to do with forgiveness or resentment. They have everything to do with the quality of our interactions with the people in our lives.   Many”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“I have been known to tell survivors, who are remaining in contact with intensely toxic people, that I cannot continue to work with them unless they implement and follow the No Contact rule.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The level of impact on a target’s life will also be different depending on whether the abuse took place in a marriage or relationship, at work, among peers, in a family, or at church. The closer the abuser is to the center of a survivor’s daily life, the more damage that can be perpetrated.   The”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Toxic people cannot sustain any length of relationship connection (i.e., the good days). As mentioned before, their lack of healthy attachments while growing up, and their refusal to deal with their flaws, creates the perfect storm for their inability to have stable relationships.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The most important point is that the girl’s moods are not changing because she’s moody. She is conditioning the boy to always be off balance. Off balance. Some toxic people will actually say out loud that they like keeping people off balance. If someone tells you that, run.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Abusers get one more opportunity to covertly insult the survivor when they say, “If only…”   Toxic”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Learning to not be “all in” too soon in a relationship, but remain guarded, is usually an area of growth for many survivors.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Psychological abusers like people who make them look or feel good.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“A Sociopath will run you over, scold you for being in their way, and have a smirk because secretly they get entertainment out of the chaos they’ve created.   A”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“You are not alone in having witnessed some of the most bizarre human behaviors. It’s important for you to know that truth.   Many”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Abusive church leadership must minimize God to a puppet that can be moved around at will, and it smells of blasphemy to me. It”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Let me stop here and correct a very common misconception: personality disorders are not the same classification of mental health disorders, such as Bipolar Disorder or Major Depressive Disorder.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Far too many churches are believing the notion that if it looks good, it must be good. Nowhere does fake billboard living work with more efficiency than in a church environment.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“There are sad consequences if we do not recognize that our old selves have faded away. Insecurity will drive us to push away happy, successful people because we do not think we deserve their attention. Our inner dialogue and self-worth will determine the type of people we allow – or reject – in our lives.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The problem is a survivor never knows when the next warm and fuzzy experience will happen, or when the next episode of abuse is coming through the door. Intermittent reinforcement is a powerful emotional string abusers like to pull. Never knowing what will happen next can be intoxicating for a survivor who is not fully aware of the game being played. Intermittent reinforcement causes adrenaline rushes in the body and stress hormones to be produced. It creates a biochemical shift in the survivor that becomes addicting and from which is hard to break free.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“Survivors do themselves a huge favor when they do not make excuses for harmful actions. An important question for targets: Would you treat someone the way you’ve been treated? If the answer is no, then the abuse is easier to recognize. Resist remaining in any level of denial. The truth is painful to see, but necessary.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“I just wanted a soul mate. I didn’t want a degree in psychology.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse

“The person who was intended to be the safe harbor in their life is actually silently drowning them. This is done right in plain sight, too. Frequently, the emotional homicide is happening while other people go on clamoring about what a great guy or gal the abuser is and how lucky the survivor is to be connected to the abuser.”
― Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse