Content Provider Quotes

“Defining offence is so complicated. That's why it was thoughtful of the Telegraph to publish an actual graph of the angle of Corbyn's bow. The existence of a literal calibration of offence relieves us of the obligation of understanding complicating factors like context, intent or the agenda of the observer. Corbyn's bow was undeniably offensive because it fell outside the mathematical parameters of inoffensive bowing.”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016

“I am a professional humorist, and objectively the third most critically acclaimed British stand-up comedian of the twenty-first century. If I write a stupid thing, on some level I invite you to assume it was deliberate, and that I have, to some extent, created a secondary "columnist" persona, in which I take on the role of the sort of person who would write the absurd things that I am writing, such as this sentence for example.”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016

“I have explained to my children that though this act is not legal, it is nonetheless moral, in a neat reversal of Starbucks' historical tax avoidance, which though legal, was not moral. Teaching children to steal from Starbucks is a way of making ethics fun for kids and bringing philosophy alive.”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016

“It is understood that, for next year's remembrance ceremony, the prime minister's tear ducts are to be surgically altered so that he can cry French benedictine on demand, lick it off his own face, and then transubstantiate it in his bladder, to wee out the holy tears of the fallen.”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016

“Reading comments below YouTube clips of my stand-up in the late noughties encouraged me to make the act even more like the sort of act the people who hated it would hate;”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016

“Now was the moment and the moment was now. For in perhaps as little as twenty weeks' time, ill-informed voters, stuffed with incoherent arguments, like hissing geese force-fed nostalgia and hate to produce an idelible pâté of groundless opinion, would be asked to decide nothing less than what sort of country we want to live in and bequeath to those who come after us.”
― Stewart Lee, Content Provider: Selected Short Prose Pieces, 2011–2016