I Funny Quotes

“atoms change their charge from negative to positive when they lose an electron.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“two atoms are walking along. One of them says, ‘Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.’ ‘Are you sure?’ says the other. ‘Yes, I’m positive.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Gilda gives me a funny, eyebrows-raised look. I don’t know why.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“They shouldn’t be in here daydreaming and thinking on their own!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“bend over,”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Bend over!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“The library will remain the school’s number one information resource center, where everybody is free to study anything and everything they want.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Our five-hundred-plus library-loving comedians march down the halls behind me.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“I’ll out-Google Google!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“If you haven’t gotten to that part in science class yet, atoms change their charge from negative to positive when they lose an electron.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“For instance, atoms. Seriously. When was the last time you heard a guy on TV joking about protons, neutrons, and electrons?”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Heck, I’ve even received spam e-mails telling me I can lose all the weight I want in five days”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Hey, I might’ve blown two classes. But you know what they say: The third time’s the charm!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Most guys never know when a girl is truly interested in them.” Gilda gives me a funny, eyebrows-raised look. I don’t know why.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“shoulders to the mat, and hold him there for a count of three!”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“A guy comes into the library with an overdue book. The librarian says, ‘This book about amnesia was due four weeks ago!’ The guy says, ‘Really? I forgot.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Be kind, because everyone you meet could be fighting a hard battle you know nothing about.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Teamwork. It’s what makes the world go ’round.” “Actually,” says Pierce, popping his head up over an astronomy book, “what makes Earth go ’round is conservation of angular momentum.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Funnie”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“Today’s lesson?” I say. “The history of slapstick.” “You want me to slap you with a stick?” says Stevie.”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs

“But I’m the professor! This is my class! Show some respect!” “Okay,”
― James Patterson, I Funny: School of Laughs