Blister Quotes

“You don't want me to die alone, do you? Nobody should have to die alone." "You won't be alone," said Rachel. "The assassin will be there with you.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“You know Hitler? I like Hitler more than I like you, and I'm a Jew.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“Yes, somehow I'd reached the point of mental instability where I was making up excuses to justify my actions to my own brain.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“I'm a liar, but this is the truth. I”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“If you hurt my dog, I will kill you," I said, trembling with rage and worry. "I don't care how many baseball bats you have, I will kill you. I don't care if you've got a shotgun in that truck, I will kill you. I will kill all of you. I will kick your fucking teeth out of your heads. I will rip your fucking chests open. I will break off your exposed ribs and stab you in the fucking eyeballs with them. I will scalp you with my bare hands; I'll just dig my fingernails underneath the skin and rip your scalps right off, and then I'll wad them into a fucking ball and shove them down your fucking throats so that you choke on your own fucking head-skin. I will break your fucking toes. I will break your fucking fingers. I will punch a hole in your fucking stomach. Do not hurt my dog. Put him down.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“They showed up right after you got there?" I asked.
"Well, no, Erik and I smoked some weed first. I guess we were there for an hour or so."
"Maybe an hour and a half," said Erik.
"That long?"
"It was good weed.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I found myself driving along a desolate back road with a dead body in the trunk.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“For the next few minutes I reviewed my available options, and I came up with the following plan: hope that somebody showed up to rescue me. Or,”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“I expected to see a complete horror show. But I didn't know whether it would be a "pile of severed heads in the corner" horror show, or an "intestines hanging from the ceiling like party banners" horror show, or a good old-fashioned "floors soaked with blood" horror show. It”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“He didn't seem like somebody you'd want to invite to a party unless you'd already given up on it.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“I apologize from distracting you from reading my books.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“I was becoming a huge Blister fan.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“Malcolm gaped at me as if a giant erect penis had suddenly sprouted from my forehead. "I know, it's a lot to take in," I said.”
― Jeff Strand, Blister

“Seriously, though, do you want a beef stick if they have them?”
― Jeff Strand, Blister