Ball Peen Hammer Quotes

“Life is rarely about what you think--it's almost always about what you feel.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“It’s the social-media edition of ‘Old MacDonald Had a Farm,’” Zander finally says, wiping his eyes. “Dick-pick to a chick-chick, everywhere a dick-pic. Here a dick, there a pic, everywhere a dick-pick.” “E-i-e-i-o,”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“I’ve never met anyone like Keane Morgan. He’s Daffy Duck trapped inside Prince Charming’s body.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“Okay, this moment is definitely brought to me by the letters W, T, and F.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“I feel like I've been smacked across the face with a "pull yourself together!" stick and, just that fast, I'm remembering this blue-haired Adonis is the very same jerk who didn't have the courtesy to reply to a single one of my messages for days and then, totally unprovoked, sent me an up-close-and-personal photo of his friend's Alabama black snake.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“You two are Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumbshit, I swear to fucking God.” Zander”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“Fine. But first let me say, since you’ve asked me directly and you’re obviously dying to know, yes, I’ve got a big ol’ dong. Massive. A weapon of mass destruction. Puts Shamu’s cock to shame. Women spontaneously orgasm when they see it. Men cower. Dogs scamper away whimpering and communist countries surrender their nukes.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“...consistently making choices aligned with your true heart's desire will lead you to your rightful destiny in the end. Life is a marathon, my love, not a sprint. Trust yourself. You'll get to the finish line eventually. We all do. And when you get there, if you've been true to yourself, you'll be able to look yourself in the mirror with pride and a sense of accomplishment--and, most importantly, no regrets.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“Honey, there's nothing immature about following your heart. In fact, having the self-awareness and confidence to bet on yourself and listen to your inner voice demonstrates more maturity and character than anything else.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“you—at”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“women have a tremendous capacity to forgive the idiots they love.” My”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“Life is rarely about what you think—it’s almost always about what you feel.” I”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“I’m thinking deep thoughts like, ‘Hey if Gracie decides she wants to play softball, then she’s gonna have to dream a lot smaller than the little boys playing the same fucking sport on the field right next door.’ And that kinda sucks, if you stop and think about it.” I”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“I’m going out to hitch the oxen to the plow ‘fore the rains come—looks like a mackerel sky!” “What?” I say, laughing. Keane”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“(Confession? Sometimes I don’t read my texts in a timely manner.) “PEEN!”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“I've never met anyone like Keane Morgan. He's Daffy Duck trapped inside Prince Charming's body.”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer

“What? You haven’t named your wahoo?”

“No.” She giggles again. “

Well, maybe you should. Start calling your bat-cave She-Ra Princess of Power and you’ll jumpstart that motor of yours in record speed. Or maybe Hello Kitty? Delilah? Jaws? Any of those speak to you?”
― Lauren Rowe, Ball Peen Hammer