The Authorities™ Quotes

“People talk about New York and Los Angeles when they discuss terrible traffic, but those people are dilettantes. Any true connoisseur of terrible traffic knows that Seattle is something special. In fact, Rutherford suspected that a big part of the reason there were so many environmentalists in Seattle was that the city itself was designed to make you hate your car.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“all men tend to assume that they’re pretty good fighters until it is demonstrated to them that they are not.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“When everyone’s early the least early person is late, no matter what the clock says.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Nobody will ever match your expectations. It’s easy to become disappointed in the people you meet, but really, you should be disappointed in the quality of your own expectations. Once you learn to let those expectations go, you’ll see that while the people you meet are never as cool as you expected them to be, they’re actually much cooler than you ever imagined.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Main purpose of PowerPoint is to slow communication down so the ideas are easier to catch.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Brooke said, “Mom, did you know that the movie Frozen is really about pooping?” Mrs. Estabrook said, “What?” “Yeah,” Brooke continued. “See, Elsa makes ice. It just comes from her body naturally. She can’t help it. Sometimes it happens by accident. And her parents tell her to never let anyone see it happen.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Doughy men are still men, and all men tend to assume that they’re pretty good fighters until it is demonstrated to them that they are not.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Brooke said, “Mom, did you know that the movie Frozen is really about pooping?” Mrs. Estabrook said, “What?” “Yeah,” Brooke continued. “See, Elsa makes ice. It just comes from her body naturally. She can’t help it. Sometimes it happens by accident. And her parents tell her to never let anyone see it happen.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Well, if you think about it, the only people who get to give Bond crap without getting killed for it are M, Moneypenny, and Q. Bond comes into the office, gets talked down to and bossed around, then he goes out into the field to get shot at. M sits in an office, looking miserable, and Moneypenny spends her day being used as a target dummy for flirt practice. Q has a lab, underlings, and gets to play with all the toys. He’s got the best job of anyone.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“It’s easy to become disappointed in the people you meet, but really, you should be disappointed in the quality of your own expectations. Once you learn to let those expectations go, you’ll see that while the people you meet are never as cool as you expected them to be, they’re actually much cooler than you ever imagined”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“So I’m here because my sex-toy video went viral?” “That’s the worse sentence anyone’s ever said in my office, but yes,”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“You asked Capp to hire me because I remembered one thing you didn’t?” “I thought the team needed a second pair of eyes attached to a brain with investigative training and good memory.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“As for the contract, I’m either trustworthy or I’m not. If I’m not, I’ll find a way to screw you no matter what the contract says. If I am, then I’ll take care of you no matter what the contract says. So, really, the question isn’t, Do you want to sign the contract? It’s, Do you want to trust me?”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“Gentlemen, what I’m about to say may sound a bit condescending, but please know that I’m saying it with envy. You’re both still young.” The three of them stood in silence for a moment. Rutherford broke the silence, saying, “That’s true.” “See, what you just said was meant condescendingly,” Sherwood said, “but that’s fine. As you get older, you’re going to find, as I have, that nobody is ever as cool as you expected them to be.” He gestured toward Rutherford and Albert. “Cops, tech whizzes,” he pointed at the house, then at himself, “karate men, scientists. Nobody will ever match your expectations. It’s easy to become disappointed in the people you meet, but really, you should be disappointed in the quality of your own expectations. Once you learn to let those expectations go, you’ll see that while the people you meet are never as cool as you expected them to be, they’re actually much cooler than you ever imagined.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™

“The good news is that you can survive just fine without large portions of your face. The bad news is that you could end up spending the rest of your life with an unhealable hole in your face large enough to store a couple of golf balls.” Rutherford and his friend sat silently for a moment. His friend asked, “Can that really happen?” “Yes,” Rutherford said, with a certainty that convinced the other man that there was a story behind the statement, and that he did not want to hear it.”
― Scott Meyer, The Authorities™