In Shining Armor Quotes

“a campus security officer who’d been waiting quietly in the corner of a stairwell landing told us that the top of the building was off-limits. He had an unlit cigarette in his mouth and a cell phone in his hands and looked for all the world like we’d just caught him about to take an unauthorized text and smoke break. What didn’t quite jibe with that image was that most campus security guards don’t look like they pick their teeth with a chainsaw, and their sidearms aren’t made for moose hunting.”
― Elliott James, In Shining Armor

“I’m sure all those damsels in distress really appreciate that,” I scoffed. “Oh, here I am, being held hostage. I hope some sword-swinging moron with no grasp of strategy comes storming in here to save me with a hi-ho and a happy hard-on.”
― Elliott James, In Shining Armor

“Canadians don't get curious when American tourists buy lots of food," I said. "If the guy thought about it all, he probably figured I wanted to take the doughnuts home, or to my church group or academic conference or whatever."
Sig eyed my clothes doubtfully. "How did he know you were American?"
"I made sure I talked loud," I said.”
― Elliott James, In Shining Armor

“Ever since I started hanging around you, it's more like 'Oh, look, something messed up is going on. Let's poke it And see what happens. Wow, it's even bigger and more messed-up than it looked like. Let's poke it again. Oh my God, where did those giant flaming woodchucks come from?”
― Elliott James, In Shining Armor