Big Rock Quotes

“This is the end to my Saturday night. My cat has watched me whack off to a vision of my best friend. “Don’t say a word,” I hiss. He looks away, lifting his chin haughtily. But he’ll keep my secret. I’ll keep his, too, the fucking little voyeur.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“You don't want a tiny diamond on your finger when you can have three carats. You don't want a one-dollar bill when you can have a Benjamin. And you don't want to ride a miniature pony when you can saddle up on a rock-star cock at the rodeo of your pleasure.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“My heart trips over itself in a race to get closer to her. Something is happening. Something strange and completely foreign. My heart is speaking a language I don’t understand as it tries to fling itself at Charlotte. Great. Now, that’s two organs I have to do battle with every day.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“You’re not supposed to be attracted to your best friend like this. That’s not how it works. I’m probably going to have to get checked into a facility to deal with the amount of attraction I have for you. I’ll ask them to remove it, and they’ll say ‘sorry, sir, it’s spread across your entire body and we can’t take it out’.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Because if you’re my fiancé, you need to be comfortable with me being naked,” she says with a crisp nod. Shit, she’s going to do it. She’s going to drop the towel. She’s going to make us practice fucking. I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“But here’s the secret to success when you possess a much-larger-than-average-size cock. You can’t just wave it around like a big bat. You’ve got to treat it like a baseball manager does a closer. A cock with firepower is your secret weapon, and it’s worth its weight in gold if you know what to do with the rest of the lineup. Meaning, the dick should never be the star of the show. The woman’s name should be the one in lights, and you need to make her feel that way from start to finish. Warm her up right. Use all your tools—hands, fingers, mouth, tongue, words.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“and I’ve been dubbed adorable. I am not okay with this. This is not acceptable. Charlotte is so getting fucked from behind tonight so she knows there’s nothing adorable about me.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“I do my best work in the bedroom. This is completely my domain. So it should be no big deal that she asked me to wait here. But something about being in Charlotte’s bedroom is wigging me out. Mostly because there’s nudity transpiring mere feet away. She’s taking a shower, and no matter how you slice them, New York apartments are thimble size. Let me spell this out—There is a wet, naked, hot woman in a ten-foot radius. Got it? Okay. Moving on.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Fido and I have an understanding: I feed him, and he doesn’t cock-block me.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Once you’ve had filet mignon, you don’t want to go back to hamburger helper.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“My heart trips over itself in a race to get closer to her.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“We are teetering on something. Something I shouldn't want. Something I want desperately.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Any man who is friends with a woman has taken the old imagination out for a stroll to Kissing Avenue, then Lovers Lane, then Fucking Street.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Do it" she commands. "I need to know I won't cave, I need to prove to myself that even the torture of tickling won't make me give up the secrets of my best friend." I unbutton my cuffs, and roll up my shirt sleeves to my forearms "Don't go easy on me." she says. "Not in my nature.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“she inches her fingers tighter around my waist. So tight that for a sliver of a second it seems like…like she’s copping a feel of my abs. Okay. That’s not even remotely a problem at all. Those rock-solid abs are there for your pleasure, m’lady.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“There's only one cure for weirdness.”
“Anal?”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“You’re the only woman I want to love.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Mr. Offerman clasps his hand on top of hers. “It’s a good hobby for you, dear. It gets you out of the kitchen.”

I straighten my spine. Are we in the fifties here? “Out of the kitchen?”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“I head to the bathroom. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and try to put the evening behind me. Look, it’s not hard to turn down a drunk girl, because that’s just wrong. But it was hard, for some unknown fucking reason, to turn down her. Those things she was saying. Those wicked, dirty words falling from her red lips. They torched a path up my body. They stirred something inside me. Some wish. Some want.

That kiss on the street was one thing.

The session on her couch was entirely another.

But the cab was a whole new wrinkle. She just combusted, like a rocket of lust, firing off in every direction, jumping me, climbing me, grinding on me.

I wanted it all.

I wanted her.

I still do.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“He really was a pig,” I say, with a quirk in my lips. “He was completely disrespectful to women, to his wife, to his daughters—I can’t have the Katharine’s legacy carried on by someone like that.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“when it comes to my best asset, all I want you thinking about are these words: long, thick, smooth, hard. If the Renaissance masters were carving sculptures of cocks, mine would be the model for all of them.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Yum.” She smacks her lips and mimes making a cat claw. She leans into me and whispers, “I am so going to be visiting him one-handed tonight in my fantasies.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“But it was all for the best. Because feeling like I lost you made me realize I’d do whatever it takes to have you. Because you’re the one. You’ve been in front of me all along, and in some ways I feel like I fell in love with you quickly, in only one week. But in other ways, I know I’ve been falling in love with you over time, over the years.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Because I promise you, I will kiss you the only way you should be kissed."
"What way is that?"
"A real kiss should get you wet.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“I leave, and I should earn a commendation for self-restraint. I’m going to contact the Guys’ Committee and let them know what I accomplished tonight in the resistance category. I’ll fully expect a gold medal in the morning and, frankly, an awards ceremony, considering the level of difficulty.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Charlotte is kissing me.

On the streets of New York.

Her lips are on mine.

She tastes fantastic.

Like cream and sugar and coffee and sweetness. Like all the good things in the world. Like I imagined she’d taste.

Not that I’ve been thinking about kissing my best friend.

But, look, you can’t help where your mind wanders sometimes as a guy. Any man who is friends with a woman has taken the old imagination out for a stroll to Kissing Avenue, then Lovers Lane, then Fucking Street.

Which is exactly what I’m going to be visiting in Ye Olde Brain if she keeps brushing those lips softly against mine in this fluttery¸ lingering kind of kiss. Because it is getting harder to think about anything other than turning up the volume on this lip-lock.

A lot harder.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“I’ve got to remember to ask her if she can tie a knot in a cherry with it, too. Not that it matters. I have no use for knotted cherries. But”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you’ve completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie. But”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“That’s the thing about slippery slopes. Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you’ve completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock

“I briefly wonder if I have a foot fetish.”
― Lauren Blakely, Big Rock