Diary of Steve the Noob Quotes

“They made baked potatoes,”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“flimsy wooden sword.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“swinging away until finally, I finished the last of them. No more bouncing boxes! Victory was mine! “Yeaaaah!” I cheered. “Take that, you stupid boxes! That’s what you get for trying to squish me!”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“What hurt the most was that the villagers didn’t even bother to watch me get whupped on.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“I got up and went to go look around. Some of the buildings were on fire, but I couldn’t find any water to use to put it out. I did the next best thing by trying to spit on it; that didn’t work. I thought about peeing on the building, but I didn’t want to risk a ticket for public urination. So, I gave up and walked away and let the fire do its thing.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“While gathering materials for the table and bow, the green box returned to troll me.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“ran towards the closest building I saw, and at the time I remembered wishing that Joe wasn’t so fat.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“I”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Well, okay. Let’s just call you Steve, Steve the noob.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“introduced himself as Joe the librarian.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Some of the villagers were excellent cooks. They made baked potatoes, cakes, rabbit stews and steaks. It was all so delicious, and I totally pigged out. I was being a little fatty, but I didn’t care. We deserved it. We had earned it after all that digging and building. So, I ate to my heart’s content. Then I partied and mingled with everyone. Not before long, night came upon us. We were all standing outside when we heard the noises from monsters increase little by little. Everyone was anxious and worried about the monsters breaking through the dirt wall. So, I ran to the top of the tower to check out the enemy. From my elevation, I saw the horde of monsters outside our newly built wall. They were clawing and”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“moaned, groaned,”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“The monsters moaned,”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“My name? I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything,” I told him. “Well, okay. Let’s just call you Steve, Steve the noob.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“I wandered the village for a while more. As I walked, I noticed that there were tons of items scattered all over the place. The items were all just lying there, spinning out in the open. What’s with all this free stuff on the ground? I wondered as I walked up to a carrot. I was about to pick it up to eat it, but then I saw a familiar wooden sword nearby. “Wait, this sword… I gave this sword to Marco…” I whispered softly.  Then I realized what all the items were…”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“In the distance, I spotted a villager running towards the village. He was being chased by the emerging zombies. I knew he wasn’t going to make it to safety if I didn’t help him. So, I ditched my tower and grabbed my wooden sword and ran out to escort the villager.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“So, I did the next best thing. I pulled out my pickaxe and chipped away at the stone walls of our high tower. I took the bits and pieces of stone and hurled them over the edge. Needless to say, I shut up those monsters good that night.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Hmmmrph… Hmaaarph…”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Noob”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Jack the jerk.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“Steve!”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“hammering”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“the fight to last this long, but those darn boxes are able to self-replicate or something. I whack one down and three more takes its place. Finally, I finished the last of them. No more boxes. Victory was mine. I continued to gather materials. I returned to the village to build the crafting table. I was surprised to see some of the villagers had taken upon themselves to try to complete the wall that Joe and I had started. It was a touching effort. I made a bow and some arrows, another wooden sword, a pickaxe, and some other tools. Later that night, high up upon the rooftop I made my stand. Arrow upon arrow I let loose upon those zombies. I showered them with vengeance and laughed maniacally throughout the night. “Taste my fury, you brain leeches!”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob

“unlimited arrows from the enchanted book, I’d just use his house to craft some arrows instead; seems fair enough. I chopped and I chopped until my inventory was full of wood, then I took off running before anyone saw me.”
― Steve the Noob, Diary of Steve the Noob