The Wisest One in the Room Quotes

“Note that the best rationalizations are those that have an element of truth. Whether you vote or not will almost certainly have no influence on the outcome of an election. Nor will the amount of carbon you personally put into the atmosphere make a difference in the fate of the planet. And perhaps it really should be up to governments rather than the charities that are soliciting your contributions to feed the hungry and homeless in America or save children around the world from crushing poverty and abuse. But the fact that these statements are true doesn't mean they aren't also rationalizations that you and others use to justify questionable behavior.

This uncomfortable truth is crucial to an understanding of the link between rationalization and evil—an understanding that starts with the awareness that sane people rarely, if ever, act in a truly evil manner unless they can successfully rationalize their actions... [The] process of rationalizing evil deeds committed by whole societies is a collective effort rather than a solely individual enterprise.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“As the distinguished British philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote as he reflected on the bitter lessons of the twentieth century, 'Few things have done more harm than the belief on the part of individuals or groups (or tribes or states or nations or churches) that he or she or they are in sole possession of the truth, especially about how to live, what to be and do - that those who differ from them are not merely mistaken, but wicked or mad: and need restraining or suppressing. It is terrible and dangerous arrogance to believe that you alone are right, have a magical eye which sees the truth, and that others cannot be right if they disagree.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“We must recognize that our view of the world is just that - a view that has been shaped by our own vantage point, history, and idiosyncratic knowledge.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“If we want to understand the actions of other people, we have to understand how they interpreted their circumstances and the choices they faced--not the way we would interpret them or, rather, the way we think we would interpret them if we were in their shoes.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Often when we get to know someone whose words and deeds were off-putting, once we get a better sense of how that person is understanding events, our dislike dissipates.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“The fact that these statements are true doesn't mean they aren't also rationalizations that you and others use to justify questionable behavior.

This uncomfortable truth is crucial to an understanding of the link between rationalization and evil--an understanding that starts with the awareness that sane people rarely, if ever, act in a truly evil manner unless they can successfully rationalize their actions. Hollywood films notwithstanding, villains who proudly embrace evil are virtually nonexistent in real life. The problem is that people are extraordinarily adept at rationalizing. This applies not only to personal misdeeds, but also to the greater sins of omission and commission associated with genocide, slavery, apartheid, war atrocities, and the denial of basic human rights and human dignity. A further problem is that in contrast to the kind of dissonance reduction shown [in studies], the process of rationalizing evil deeds committed by whole societies is a collective effort rather than a solely individual enterprise.

Perpetrators are encouraged to rationalize their deeds by leaders and their propaganda machines, who insist that "'they' deserve what is being done to them," or that what is being done serves some noble end or necessary goal.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Few things have done more harm than the belief on the part of individuals or groups (or tribes or states or nations or churches) that he or she or they are in sole possession of the truth, especially about how to live, what to be and do—that those who differ from them are not merely mistaken, but wicked or mad: and need restraining or suppressing. It is terrible and dangerous arrogance to believe that you alone are right, have a magical eye which sees the truth, and that others cannot be right if they disagree.”19”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“What may ultimately be necessary is the creation of a social movement of the sort that has on past occasions transformed the world—a movement like the ones that launched both Christianity and Islam, or the one that transformed monarchies to democracies, or the one that ended slavery, or the one that is now empowering women across the globe. There is no set formula for creating such a movement, but both history and research tell us how rapid and decisive change can be once a tipping point is reached.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“No such collective benefit will be forthcoming for cooperators in the struggle against climate change. Sun, wind, and water do not discriminate between cooperators and noncooperators. The virtuous who reduce energy use or adopt greener technologies will not endure any less degradation of their environments than the nonvirtuous who do nothing to change their ways.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Moreover, what is called for are permanent changes, not temporary alterations in how we live our lives. The success of wartime mobilizations and calls for cooperation in the face of floods or economic crises show that people are willing to sacrifice for a period of time to achieve a victory that allows them to return to business as usual. The prospect of a new normal that is less free, less luxurious, and in some ways less enjoyable is not something likely to produce eager recruits for the campaign ahead.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Meeting the challenge of climate change demands that people make personal sacrifices now to minimize harm that others will suffer in the future. That’s a tough sell. Our species evolved as small-group animals with a focus on our own survival and short-term needs, along with those of our offspring and near kin. We are not programmed to worry much about the welfare of our great-grandchildren, much less the descendants of people living far away.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Targeting individual energy users with information about norms is certainly a tactic worth employing. As Harvard social psychologist Joshua Greene put it, “The best way to get people to do something is to tell them that their neighbors are already doing it.”4”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“The wisest one in the room, armed with a nuanced appreciation of this research, can contribute productively to any debate about how to improve the academic performance, and later contributions to society, of students and schools that are currently failing. The evidence we have reviewed also offers some broader lessons for anyone who wants to help the people they care about meet new and difficult challenges. Don’t just intervene; intervene wisely. That means offering realistic feedback rather than empty praise. It means linking academic goals to personal values and broader aspirations that have real meaning for the individual and providing reassurance in the face of expressions of doubt. It also means accompanying that reassurance with the message that ability is not fixed. It is not a matter of having it or not having it. Abilities grow with effort, and failures are a part of that growth process. Persistence and confidence that continued effort will pay off, and the willingness to seek help when required, are the keys to success.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Dozens of studies now attest to the impact of lessening stereotype threat for black, Hispanic, and low-socioeconomic-status children taking standard tests of intellectual ability, and for women taking tests of math or reasoning ability.16 In some cases, the experimental manipulation involved simply varying the description of what the test measured.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“These examples illustrate a particularly frustrating barrier to reaching agreement: The evaluation of proposals often changes when they are no longer just hypothetical possibilities but are actually put on the table. This sort of devaluation is especially evident when the proposal is offered by a representative of the other side in a conflict.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Parties in conflict are particularly prone to overestimate the extent to which the other side’s behavior is determined by character or personal flaws, and to underestimate the extent to which it reflects the same kinds of influences and considerations that are governing their own behavior.I”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Less obvious is the fact that a long commute turns out to be one of the sources of dissatisfaction with everyday life to which people seem not to adapt. (So if you have any choice in the matter, finding a way to commute less, especially by automobile, will likely make you much happier).”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“This, then, is the psychology behind the often-quoted phrase that “life is a journey, not a destination.” Evolution has made it hedonically rewarding to act on and learn about the world. It is striving and making progress that promotes happiness; having something (a prized material good, an award, a title) is a poor substitute. This is also the psychology behind the hedonic treadmill.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“When research participants are asked to list their biggest regrets, they report more regrets of inaction than action by a two-to-one margin. When asked more specifically whether their biggest regret in life involved something they had done or something they failed to do, three times as many respondents named the latter.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“The idea of a hedonic treadmill explains why there has been essentially no intergenerational increase in happiness despite a massive increase in the wealth and standard of living of the average citizen in developed countries.23”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Research by Tom and his former student Travis Carter suggests that pleasure is much less subject to adverse comparisons when it comes to experiences like vacations or concerts than possessions like laptops or large-screen TVs.21 People who waste time, money, and emotion trying to keep up with the Joneses when it comes to their car, their condo, or their clothes are much less likely to do so when it comes to where they vacation, where they dine out, or how often they go to the theater. Experiences, in other words, tend to be evaluated more on their own terms.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Material and experiential purchases tend to provide just as much happiness initially, but the thrill of material goods tends to fade, while the enjoyment derived from experiential purchases endures.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“By the same token, when you are doing a string of unpleasant chores, resist the temptation to leave the toughest and most tedious to last. Even better, try to end your labors with a chore that is at least somewhat pleasant.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Psychological research provides a clear answer to these sorts of quantity-quality trade-offs: Choose the shorter, more memorable vacation. When you’re back at home or at work, two pleasant but less memorable weeks won’t feel any different from one. But savoring your memories of walking right onto the beach in the morning and then again at sunset, playing the album of the musicians you heard live as you sipped that rum concoction, and remembering what it looked like to see the Na Pali coast from the air are experiences you will draw on for a lifetime.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Chapter 4’s discussion of the primacy of behavior offers some tips: Act like a happy person, and you will find it easier to be one. Don’t waste your energy denigrating paths not taken or choices not made. Avoid social comparisons that put you at the short end of the stick. Savor the great times you had and the blessings you enjoyed in the past rather than dwelling on what may be lacking in your life today. But also seek out experiences that will contribute to your happiness right now. Unfortunately, this sort of advice is much easier to offer than to follow. If that weren’t the case, there would be fewer long faces in the world.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Consider the finding, discussed earlier, that people who choose between two attractive options tend to denigrate the option they rejected (as a way of reducing cognitive dissonance). But happy people do this less than others.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“Zupan can believe with the utmost sincerity that it was the “best thing that ever happened to him” yet acknowledge that he would not choose to reexperience the accident if he could “live life over again,” much less recommend it for a son, niece, or stranger. This distinction is captured in part by the difference between moment-to-moment pleasure (or the sum or average of such moments) and what philosophers have called eudaimonia—the broader sense of well-being that comes with the feeling that one’s life is worthwhile, meaningful, and well lived.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“saying “Don’t worry; you will get over it” or “Look on the bright side” is not likely to prove helpful. Nowhere is naïve realism, which we discussed in detail in chapter 1, more evident than when someone tells you that your feelings are not appropriate to the situation, or when you tell someone that your outlook for their future is more realistic than their own.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“An important component of wisdom, then, is knowing when and how you—and your behavior—have influenced the very information you are using to form judgments and make decisions. Who are you not hearing from? Have you made it hard for others to tell you the truth? Is the energy you’ve devoted to a pet project the reason it looks better than the projects you’ve neglected?”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

“If appointing a devil’s advocate is not possible, there are other ways a wise person can “widen the keyhole” and avoid distorting lenses and filters. When it comes to making consequential decisions, for example, you can compare how you think about the pros and cons right now with how you imagine you’ll think about them ten years from now. Or you might consider what you’d recommend for a friend or what you think someone you respect would recommend. As we saw in chapter 3, you can shed light on the best product, proposal, or person to select by turning the question around and also asking which is the right one to reject. Some decision analysts recommend conducting a “premortem,” that is, assume that a decision has gone horribly wrong and ask yourself what information you’d want to gather to find out why.18 Get that information now.”
― Thomas Gilovich, The Wisest One in the Room: How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights