The Last Best Gift Quotes

“Consciousness returns to its own dark thoughts and bad memories as reliably as kids to their own scabs, and maybe it's not so difficult to understand why. The mind doesn't like unresolved issues. Except that moods don't get resolved, they get forgotten – but just try forgetting the free-fall through depression's vacuum in a hurry. Worse than that, depression isn't just a memory, it's a state of mind. If you remember it, you're in it.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“The dream of true economic, gender and racial equality in a free society, which was cherished (if not achieved) by Leftists of the post-war generation, died under New Labour; but the egalitarianism at its heart was resurrected by a merciless minority as the brain-sucking zombie of Political Correctness.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Tailing someone is like maintaining a relationship: you keep at it until they give you the slip, or until they confirm everything you suspect them of.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Above the altar is suspended the horrifically detailed model of a dying man, who, like the stained-glass version of his mother during The Annunciation, is wearing an expression too serene for such surprising circumstance. Jesus looks like he's thinking, Well, here I am, nailed to some wood.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“For the New Age community, 'ancient' knowledge is always considered unimpeachable and unimprovable, just as a diverse range of beliefs from Eastern mysticism to UFOs, energy dowsing to cryptozoology, are - though mutually contradictory - unquestionably accepted in the name of open-mindedness.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Isn't it terrifying how instinctively the arm settles into the aiming of a gun? You've even put your finger on the lever marked Rock'n'roll, and that means you're 1% of the way along the road towards putting me down, shooter. The other 99% is just pulling the trigger.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“God can be any place he needs to be, any time he wants. He can stay out of sight and on the tail of more than one suspect at once. He knows the truth of a man's guilt and the falsity of his remorse at a glance, and he gets to be the judge and jury of every felon he brings in. Yeah, God P.I. is a tough act to follow.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Real experience – the kind that thickens your skin and douses the gleam in your eye – it isn't what you've done, it's what gets done to you.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“I never really feel like I'm making the most of my God-given powers of free will and self-determination until I'm flat on my face in worship and praying for help.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“I've discovered the difference between solitude and loneliness.
Loneliness is shit.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Psychiatric services are presented with two kinds of people: those who most want attention, and those who most need it.
I'm too afraid to look into the evidence about which kind of person is most likely to receive it.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre

“Memory is all the previous pages in a diary.
Self is the line being written on today's page.
All the previous entries should explain how this one was reached.
But I don't know how any diary could be so full.”
― Mark Crutchfield, The Last Best Gift: Eye Witnesses to the Celebrity Sabbath Massacre