Zip, Zero, Zilch Quotes

“So, you’re the last one to fall,” he says. He’s serious all of a sudden. “I never really worried about you. I worried more about Pete, because I knew you had more ability to love than any of the rest of us.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know,” he hedges. “You just wore your heart on your sleeve. You love, and you love well and true. That’s one of your strengths.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“The Reeds take people in like they’re family. Anyone. The only requirement is that you have a pulse. And if you don’t have a heart, they’ll give you theirs.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“He squeezes my hand. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, cupcake,” he says. “I just wish you could love me back.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“God, I can’t breathe when I’m around you, Peck. I can’t think. I love you, and I don’t want to be apart from you. Ever.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“You can try out my piercing after you fall in love with me, okay?”
“What?”
“I kind of need for you to love me, Peck.” He’s quiet but fierce. “You’re not in love with me yet, are you?”
“Um…” I don’t know how to answer him.
“It’s okay. Don’t rush it. I can wait.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Logan stops to figure out noises as we go, and it’s like watching him experience it all for the first time. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Logan turns to Emily. She’s actually holding it together a lot better than the men in the room. I blow my nose into a tissue as he tells her, “Talk to me, Em. Say something.” She reaches out and cups the side of his face. “Oh, Logan,” she says. And a tear finally falls over her lashes and down her cheek. “I love you so much.” “I love you too,” he says back. And finally, he drops his head into his hands and cries. Paul”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Then I grab her. I can’t help it. I grab her and pull her against me. I need to feel her, to touch her, to smell her. I kiss her, because I really need to taste her. I hear the tiny little noises she makes when she’s excited, and she growls against my lips. The coach barks out, “Knock it off, Reed!” I lift my head, but I imagine I have stars flying around my head like Sylvester the cat after he gets hit with a rolling pin. “But she’s Mrs. Reed, coach!” I call back. “Congratulations,” he says drolly. But he’s smiling too. “Now get a room.” My”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“So what brought you here?” Emilio asks. I don’t set the icing bag down, because it’s nice to have something to do with my hands, although they’re suddenly shaking. “I wanted to talk to you about Peck.” “What about her?” “I wanted to see if you’d have any objections to me asking her to marry me.” I hear a whoop from the other room. Emilio rolls his eyes. “Why do you want to marry her?” Why do I want to marry her? She’s just Peck. And I feel like she was made for me. “Um…” “The answer is no, if that’s the best you can do.” He points to the cupcakes. “Ice them,” he says. I ice quietly for a few minutes, trying to gather my thoughts. “Didn’t expect you to give up quite so easily,” he suddenly says. I look up. “Oh, I’m not giving up. I’m just thinking.” “You about done with that?” I shake my head. “Not yet.” “Keep icing.” Suddenly, Marta strolls into the room. There’s purpose in her stride and I back up against the wall, because I’m afraid I’m her target. But I quickly see I’m not. She goes for Emilio, but he must be used to this. He runs around the corner of the center island and she chases him. She picks up a rolling pin and runs, but he runs a little bit faster. Suddenly, she stops and blows a stray lock of hair from her eyes. “Stop tormenting the poor boy,” she says. She shakes the rolling pin at him. “Oh, Jesus Christ,” he breathes. “I was having fun with it!” He grins. Then he sobers completely. “Did Peck tell you about the day we met?” “Yes, sir,” I tell him. “What she didn’t tell you was my side of it.” He rubs at the back of his hand. “I had been hanging out in the boys’ ward at the home, and one of the little assholes bit me on the back of the hand, so I was in a bad mood. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there. I walked around the corner, trying to find Marta, and I saw her sitting beside a little girl. I took one look at that kid and I said to myself, She’s my daughter.” He takes a deep breath. “I know it sounds stupid, and I suppose it should. But she was sitting there on the edge of the bed and she wouldn’t speak. But when she looked at me, she said a million words with her eyes.” Marta wipes a tear from her cheek. “I have loved that little girl from the minute I met her. I never doubted that she belonged to us, and neither did she.” He waits a beat. “The first time she spoke to me was when she had a set of drumsticks in her hand.” He looks at me. “Do you know what she said?” I shake my head, and swallow past the lump in my throat. “She took my hand and said, ‘I’m glad you’re my dad.’ It was one big stutter, and I loved every syllable. She makes me so fucking proud.” He points a finger at me. “She’s fucking perfect, so if you so much as make her cry, I will find you and jam her drumsticks so far up your ass that you’ll taste them ten years from now. Do you understand?” “Yes, sir.” I swallow again. “So, yes, you can marry my daughter. And you better make her happy every day for the rest of her life, because I will be watching. Understand?” “Yes, sir.” He points to the cupcakes. “Keep icing.” “Yes, sir.” I grin. Marta lays a hand on my shoulder. “Did you get a ring yet?” “No, ma’am. I wanted to get permission first.” She looks at Emilio and quirks a brow. He nods. She disappears into a bedroom and comes back a minute later with a box. “It was my mother’s,” Emilio says. “Peck used to try it on all the time when she was small, and she loves it. So you can use it if you want to.” He’s grumbling, but I can tell he’s serious. I pop open the box and stare down at a beautiful antique ring. “It’s lovely. Are you sure it’s okay if I use it?” He nods. He points to the cupcakes. “Keep icing.” “Yes, sir.” I smile.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Did you just take something off?” I ask the darkness. “Sam,” she scolds. I roll onto my side to face her. “What was it?” I whisper. “Nothing,” she hisses back. But I can hear laughter in her voice and I love it. “You took your shorts off, didn’t you?” I say quietly. “Maybe.” “You did.” I wait a beat. Just long enough for silence to settle around the room. “Do you know what that means?” “It means you should shut up and go to sleep.” She giggles. God, that’s a pretty sound. She’s quiet for a second. “What does it mean?” she suddenly asks. “It means your naked thighs are pressed against my sheets.” I groan. I’m turning myself on. Or she’s turning me on. “Sam,” she warns. But she’s laughing, too. She’s so far away from me that I imagine she’s going to roll right off the bed. “You’re awfully far away.” “There’s a reason for that,” she whispers. “What is it?” I whisper back. “Because I have this awful feeling that you’re going to break my heart,” she says. No stutter, so she must have found something to tap on. But I kind of would prefer to think she didn’t. “I don’t plan to hurt you.” God, she might as well have stabbed me in the gut. “No one plans to hurt anyone else. It just happens. Even to good people. So I’m trying not to let myself like you.” “You like me?” “I like you a lot. Too much.” “You like me,” I sing-song in a playful voice. “Sam,” she says on a heavy breath. “What?” “Don’t hurt me, okay?” I can hear the quiver in her voice and tension radiates off of her even from across the bed. It’s like a wire pulled taut. I reach out a hand and feel for her stomach. When I find it, I lift the edge of her shirt and lay my palm on her hip. She squeals when I roll her over and pull her to me. “Sam!” she cries. I adjust her until her bottom is cradled by my thighs. The scent of her hair tickles my nose, so I brush it out of my face, pushing it down between us. It’s silky smooth and she smells so damn good. “Um, Sam…” I nuzzle my face into the nape of her neck and press a kiss to her shoulder. “What?” “You promised to stay on your side of the bed.” “I am on my side of the bed.” She chuckles. “Go to sleep.” She wiggles her bottom in my lap, and I have to pull back a little and adjust my junk. “Um…” “That’s just my dick. I told you he likes you. He’ll give up in a minute. Go to sleep.” My head is lying on my bicep and I feel her turn her head ever so slightly and press a kiss against the tender skin of my inner arm. Damn, that feels good. My hand creeps up a little. This is the first time I’ve touched her naked stomach, and my fingertips are a little greedy. Her hand covers mine and holds it flat against her belly. “Sorry,” I whisper. She doesn’t say anything. She just holds my hand there against her skin, wrapped in hers. After a couple of minutes, she goes soft in my arms. I realize in that moment that I am in serious trouble. Like the awful, terrible, no good, very bad kind. Because I think I’m in love with her. No. I don’t think it. I know it. What I don’t know is whether or not she’s capable of loving me back.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Hey cupcake!” he says, like he just had a great idea. “I’m so glad you’re here.” “Me too,” I say. “I thought you were ready to kick me to the curb.” I was. But when I found out he was hurt, it nearly gutted me. “Would if I could,” I say. “Do you think you could fall in love with me, cupcake?” he blurts out. I’m startled. I know he’s medicated, so I shouldn’t put any stock into his words, but I can’t help it. “You should get some rest,” I say. Tap. Tap. “So, that would be a no.” He whistles. Then he scrunches up his face when it makes his head hurt. “I’m in trouble,” he whispers quietly. “What?” He squeezes my hand. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, cupcake,” he says. “I just wish you could love me back.” “You’ve had a lot of pain meds,” I say. Suddenly, he grabs the neck of my shirt and jerks me so that I fall over his chest. His lips are right next to mine. “Listen to me,” he says. “Okay,” I whisper. “I don’t have much going for me, but I know what love feels like.” “How?” “It just is, cupcake. You don’t get to pick who you fall in love with. And God knows, if my head could pick, it wouldn’t be you.” I push back to get off his chest, because I’m offended. But he holds me tight. “You’re not easy to love, because you can’t love me back. But you might one day. I’ll wait. But you got to start taking my calls.” He cups the back of my head and brings my face toward his. A cough from the doorway startles us apart. I stand up and pull my shirt down where he rucked it up. “Visiting hours are over,” a nurse says. “She’s not a visitor,” he says. She comes and inserts a needle into his IV, and his eyes close. He doesn’t open them when he says, “She’s going to marry me one day. She just doesn’t know it yet.” His head falls to the side and he starts to softly snore. His hand goes slack around mine. I pull back, my heart skipping like mad. “They say some of the most ridiculous things when they’re medicated.” The nurse shakes her head. “He probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow.” Pete”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“I don’t know.” I flop back on the bed with a groan. “What do I do?”
“Him,” Fin calls. “Do him. Then let him do you. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“You’re not easy to love, because you can’t love me back. But you might one day. I’ll wait.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Sam scoots into the bed with me and puts his arm around me. “You’re not a Zero anymore,” he whispers. “You’re a Zero-plus-two.” I kiss him, because emotion is clogging my throat so much that I can’t speak. I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Sam is the only visitor in the delivery room, and he looks down and his face goes ashen. “What’s wrong?” I ask. “That’s disgusting and beautiful all at the same time.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Oh, fuck!” Star cries. “You’re having a fucking baby!” She cups her hands around her mouth. “I’m going to be the best aunt ever!” she yells. She starts to jump up and down, and her ankle gives out. She really shouldn’t be on those stilts when she’s drunk. She hops a little. She’s going to feel that ankle tomorrow. “I think I just hurt myself,” she says, and her eyes well up with tears. “I think I need to sit down.” Then she plops her ass right down in Josh’s lap. “You’re a lump, aren’t you?” he says to her as he adjusts her body for comfort. “Are you calling me fat?” She looks at him over her shoulder. He grins and shakes his head. “Only in the best possible way.” Sam”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Kit gets up and walks over to Logan, and she pats his arm. He looks down at her. “Hi,” he says. So far, she’s only said ma ma ma ma ma ma and some other simple sounds. But she’s never said anything else. She holds out her toy and he takes it from her. He picks her up and puts her on his knee. “Da da da da da da,” she says. Logan’s eyes roam quickly from one of us to another. “Did you hear that?” “Did you hear that?” the audiologist asks. “She said da da da da da.” He’s almost shivering with emotion. I can feel it all the way in my seat. “Yes, she did.” Kit shakes her toy and Logan jumps. He takes it from her and shakes it again. “That was this?” He gives it back to her. “It’s loud.” “Now you see why I don’t want to buy her things with batteries,” Emily tosses out. “I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“So…you want to make cupcakes with me, huh?” I grin. “Yep. I want to adopt one, too.” I nod and pull her closer. “Okay.” We get to the hotel room finally. She doesn’t wait. She starts stripping off her clothes. She’s not bashful at all. Not a bit. When she’s naked, she struts over to me. “So…you want to start on those cupcakes tonight?” I pick her up and toss her onto the bed. “Hell yeah.” She’s”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“So…you want to make cupcakes with me, huh?” I grin. “Yep. I want to adopt one, too.” I nod and pull her closer. “Okay.” We”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“A smaller screen near us pans to Sam. He’s pacing back and forth down the sideline, and he’s not even looking in our direction. But then one of his teammates smacks him on the shoulder and he looks toward me. He stops. He unstraps his helmet, pulls it from his head and stares up at me. Star motions for everyone in our section to be quiet, and they all lower their signs. Emily swipes a tear from her cheek and says, “Go for it.” Logan wraps an arm around her and Kit and holds them tight. Logan is grinning like a fool, though. The camera guy is right in front of me. “Forty-five seconds,” he reminds me. I see my image on the big screen and one of the guys on the field points to it, so Sam looks in that direction. I hold up my signs. I have them grouped in order, one after the other. I show the first one. I love you, 51! I flip to the next. I don’t want to be just a Zero anymore. Flip. I want to be a Zero-plus-one. Flip. Or a Zero-plus-two. Flip. Maybe even a Zero-plus-three. Flip. I want to make little cupcakes with you. Flip. Only you. Flip. Forever. Flip. Check yes or no. I take this last card and walk out of my section. I have hands of people I don’t even know reaching out to steady me, and they’re all saying encouraging things. The camera guy runs along behind me, cursing as he chases me down the stairs. I run with my last card all the way down to the bottom bleacher and I lean over the side, holding it down against the concrete block wall. I pull a marker from my pocket and hold it out, too. Then I wait. It’s the longest forty-five seconds of my life. Sam stands completely still. He scratches his head. His teammates say things to him and he still stands there. The clock is ticking. Maybe he doesn’t want what I want after all. Then he starts to run toward me. He jogs in my direction, and my heart is in my throat. I have tears running down my face, and I don’t care. When he gets to the wall, he stares up at me. There’s no way he can come up this high, so I drop the board with the check boxes and the pen on the ground in front of him. He grins up at me and lays the board on the grass. He takes the pen and starts to check a box. Then he stops and looks up. Then he moves like he’s finally going to do it. Then he stops and looks up. I’m going to kick his ass if he keeps messing with me. Then he checks the yes box and holds the board up for the whole stadium to see. The buzzer goes off and he has to run with his teammates back onto the field to play the last two minutes of the half. When that’s over, just before he goes into the tunnel, he turns back and flashes me the I love you sign, along with a big smile. My heart settles. I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“I hold up my signs. I have them grouped in order, one after the other. I show the first one. I love you, 51! I flip to the next. I don’t want to be just a Zero anymore. Flip. I want to be a Zero-plus-one. Flip. Or a Zero-plus-two. Flip. Maybe even a Zero-plus-three. Flip. I want to make little cupcakes with you. Flip. Only you. Flip. Forever. Flip. Check yes or no. I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Peck, when she finally settles down and marries, will need someone as strong-willed as she is, but someone who has a gentle side. She needs someone who will cherish the words that still stick on her tongue, and someone who will be okay with it if she just sits quietly. He will have to be a special man, but I doubt any of it will come easily. She will have to fight for the right one. I just hope she’s capable. I hope she doesn’t let fear or doubt overwhelm her. I hope she goes for it. Because I know she can. I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Do you want to go to him?” she asks. I nod. “I want to explain. I didn’t cheat. I’m not that kind of person.” “I saw him.” “What?” “Emilio was being a dad, and he tracked Sam to the stadium. Don’t worry. He came out of it with nothing more than a black eye.” She looks chagrined. “Melio has a black eye?” She shakes her head. “No, Sam does.” “Melio hit him?” I jump up and run to the front of the bus. “You hit him?” Emilio gathers his hair in his hands and puts it in a ponytail. “Yep.” My sisters are all biting their lips to keep from smiling, I can tell. “Why would you do that?” He shrugs. “Because I’m your father, and it’s what fathers do. We protect our daughters.” I throw my hands up. “I can’t believe you did that.” He gets up and points a finger in my face. “I did. And I’d do it again. Any man who makes one of my girls cry over something so fucking stupid deserves to get punched in the face. Hell, I should have punched him in the nuts. And I will if I ever get an opportunity.” He sits back down, huffing. I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Elvis starts to sing “Viva Las Vegas” as Sam and I walk side by side down the aisle. I cover my mouth and laugh. “I want you to repeat after me, Sam,” Elvis says. He lifts one corner of his lip in that classic snarl. “I, Sam, promise you, Peck, never to step on your blue suede shoes. I promise never to leave you at Heartbreak Hotel. I promise to be your hunka-hunka burning love, forever and ever, amen.” “Wait,” Sam says. “That’s Randy Travis. Not Elvis.” “Close enough,” Elvis says. Sam rolls his hips like Elvis did when he repeats the words. I can’t stop laughing. I laugh so hard that I have to wipe tears from my eyes. But I don’t feel bad, because Emily is doing the same thing. And the rest of the brothers and their wives are laughing it up too. “Now you, Peck,” Elvis says. He swivels his hips and someone does a rim shot on a set of drums. “I, Peck, solemnly swear to love you tender for the rest of my life, and never leave you with a suspicious mind.” I repeat the words. I barely stutter, and it warms my heart when I realize that. Suddenly, Elvis gets serious. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” Sam’s eyes meet mine, and he takes my hands. I pass my flowers to one of my sisters and look up at him. We recite the official vows, and I have to blink hard to get through them, particularly when I look at the TV screen and see Marta crying into her handkerchief. “Who gives this woman to be married?” Elvis asks. Emilio’s voice rings out. “Her mother and I.” This time, a hot tear tracks down my cheek and Sam very gently wipes it away. “You okay?” he whispers. “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Elvis declares. “Now let’s have a little less conversation and a really big kiss.” He swivels his hips again and I laugh through my tears. Sam”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Elvis starts to sing “Viva Las Vegas” as Sam and I walk side by side down the aisle. I cover my mouth and laugh. “I want you to repeat after me, Sam,” Elvis says. He lifts one corner of his lip in that classic snarl. “I, Sam, promise you, Peck, never to step on your blue suede shoes. I promise never to leave you at Heartbreak Hotel. I promise to be your hunka-hunka burning love, forever and ever, amen.” “Wait,” Sam says. “That’s Randy Travis. Not Elvis.” “Close enough,” Elvis says. Sam rolls his hips like Elvis did when he repeats the words. I can’t stop laughing. I laugh so hard that I have to wipe tears from my eyes. But I don’t feel bad, because Emily is doing the same thing. And the rest of the brothers and their wives are laughing it up too. “Now you, Peck,” Elvis says. He swivels his hips and someone does a rim shot on a set of drums. “I, Peck, solemnly swear to love you tender for the rest of my life, and never leave you with a suspicious mind.” I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“She nods, and then she gets up and dashes into the bathroom to take a shower. I go with her, just because I like the sight of her ass naked, and all the rest of her too, not to mention that it’s about to be mine for eternity. ***”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Hey, cupcake!” I say, like I just had a great idea. She laughs. “Hey, Sam.” “We need to get married.” She lifts her head. “What?” “We’re in Vegas. We can get married by an Elvis impersonator.” I press my hands together like I’m praying. “Pretty please,” I beg. She laughs again. I don’t think she’s aware that I’m serious. “I’m serious. Totally.” I stare into her dark eyes. “Why?” I start to tick items off on my fingers. “One—I love you. Two—I don’t want to be apart from you anymore. Three—we just had sex, and if you refuse to marry me, I’ll think you just used me for my body.” I snake a hand beneath the covers and lay it on her belly. “Not that I’m complaining.” I tick off one more item. “And four—you punched me in the nose, so you have to marry me. It’s a rule.” She giggles. “It is, huh?” “Yep. So, what do you say?” I toss the covers back and press my lips to her belly. She holds my head there for a second, and then her belly jiggles with laughter. “Can I shower first?” I look up and see that she’s grinning at me. “Seriously?” I ask. She nods. “Yeah.” I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Another fucking arm snakes around my middle, but this time I’m prepared. I let whoever it is spin me around, and then I throw a punch just like Emilio taught me to. The heel of my hand hits him straight in the nose and he jerks back, holding his hand to his face. “Fuck!” he cries. “Oh, that was awesome,” Logan says. He high-fives Emily and she’s almost bent over laughing. “God, cupcake…” “Sam?” I say. He looks up. “Nice to see you too,” he says. Someone presses a towel into his hands, and he wipes his nose. “Oh my God,” I cry. I grab his forearms and try to pull them away from his nose. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was the asshole.” “What asshole?” Sam pulls the towel back and a thin trickle of blood runs down from his nose. “Never mind,” I say. I pull his arms down and look into his eyes. “Are you really here?” He nods. “I would say that the blood confirms it.” I”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“Another fucking arm snakes around my middle, but this time I’m prepared. I let whoever it is spin me around, and then I throw a punch just like Emilio taught me to. The heel of my hand hits him straight in the nose and he jerks back, holding his hand to his face. “Fuck!” he cries. “Oh, that was awesome,” Logan says. He high-fives Emily and she’s almost bent over laughing. “God, cupcake…” “Sam?” I say. He looks up. “Nice to see you too,” he says.”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch

“I make a move to walk by him to go to our dressing room, and an arm suddenly snakes around my waist. I squeal as he jerks me against him and touches his lips to mine. The photogs that are allowed backstage go crazy taking pictures. I push back from him, and he doesn’t stop, so I slap him. The noise rings out around the room. He jerks back like I just hurt his feelings. Then he sneers. “What’s the m-m-matter?” he mocks. “You l-l-looked like you could use a k-k-kiss.” I start toward him with my fist raised, because I’m going to punch him in the fucking throat. But Star gets between me and him. I reach around her, but she holds me back. “Get out of the way, Star,” I warn. She nods toward security, but before they can get there, Fin—the tiniest out of our group of five—tugs on the guy’s sleeve. He looks down at her, his eyes filled with lascivious intent. “Hey, baby,” he croons. He bends down like he wants to try his luck kissing her, but she balls up her fist and hits him square in the nose. He falls back, completely stunned, and lands on his back in the middle of the floor. Star steps in the center of his chest and presses the heel of her boot into his breastbone. “If you ever fucking touch one of my sisters again, I’ll chop your balls off and feed them to you.” Our”
― Tammy Falkner, Zip, Zero, Zilch