The Terrible Two Quotes

“That was a rhetorical question! Don't you even know what a rhetorical question is?"

Miles didn't know whether to answer.”
― Jory John, The Terrible Two

“Principal Barkin had a list of suspects that was exactly one kid long.”
― Jory John, The Terrible Two

“LUNCH,”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“He smelled like an animal. It was the first time Miles had touched a cow.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Inside, Miles was wild, sweaty, jittery. Outside, Miles was boring, normal, like a shoe box.”
― Jory John, The Terrible Two

“Welcome to the resistance,” said Holly. “Here, have some fruit snacks.” Miles wanted to remind her that the fruit snacks were already his, but he figured she knew that.”
― Jory John, The Terrible Two

“WELCOME TO YAWNEE VALLEY, an idyllic place with rolling green hills that slope down to creeks, and cows as far as the eye can see. There’s one now.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“The school did have a back entrance, and Barkin had walked through it this morning. (Please see this page.)”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“sunshade”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“It was after midnight and nobody—not Miles, not Niles, not the cows—was where they were supposed to be, and that felt right.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“car,”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“He grinned at Niles and went to his locker, his upper locker, to grab his math book. Maybe he would have pizza for lunch today. Yes, that sounded pretty good.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Miles didn’t move. This wasn’t part of the plan. “What is it?” said Barkin. “The plans to your next big prank?” Miles tried to look calm. “No,” said Miles. “Principal Barkin,” said Niles, “it’s just a party invitation!” “A party invitation?” Principal Barkin’s nostrils flared. Niles put his hand over his mouth and directed a loud whisper toward Miles. “It’s fine. Show it to him.” Miles had no choice now. He gave up the invitation. Principal Barkin slowly put on a pair of reading glasses and peered at the paper. “Interesting. Very interesting. Cody Burr-Tyler, eh?” He snapped his gaze back to Miles. “Well, well, well,” he said. “Well, well, well.” Barkin folded the invitation and put it in his shirt pocket. “Well.” “Well?” said Miles. Principal Barkin stared at Miles for four whole seconds. Then he pointed to a sign on the wall. Miles exhaled. He turned, feeling flustered, and walked down the hallway in the wrong direction. Niles called after him. “No, it’s this way, Miles! We need to go this way!” Miles turned around and followed Niles toward Room 22. “Miles!” Principal Barkin shouted after him. “Remember: I’m on to you.” Barkin pointed at another sign on the wall. This sign hadn’t been there”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“pedaled through the pasture. But some were moving in the”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“But Miles could not smile, because he was unhappy about moving to Yawnee Valley.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“and muttered, “Nimbus.” But Principal Barkin wasn’t finished. “And, Josh,” he said. “I certainly can put you on probation. I can do anything. I am a principal.” Principal Barkin straightened his red tie. He’d had a pretty bad day, but that was a”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Underneath the picnic table was something he’d somehow missed.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“And then, finally, I had a brilliant idea. I called the junkyard, and I asked to talk to the magnet guy, you know, the guy who has that machine with the giant magnet that lifts cars off the ground and moves them all around?”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“an idyllic place with rolling green hills that slope down to creeks, and cows as far as the eye can see. There’s one now.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Today was the day when you could decide to become a new kid and be that kid for the rest of your life.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“On your first day at a new school in a new town, you got to decide what kind of kid you were going to be. You could be the smart kid, or the kid who has cool shoes.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Inside, Barkin moved a mop and pulled a chain to turn on the light. There was another mop in the way. He moved that mop too and sat down on a bucket. There, he began to write. Barkin, inspired, lost track of time as he wrote his speech. It took an hour. At 7:38 he emerged from the supply closet clutching perhaps the greatest first-day power speech in the history of Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, at which point a student in the hallway told him his car was parked in front of the school entrance.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“Principal Barkin taking a bubble bath.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two

“In 1836, due to a balloting error, a cow was elected mayor of Yawnee Valley. (After earning record-high approval ratings, the cow was reelected to a second term.) A statue of that cow still stands in the center of the town square.”
― Mac Barnett, The Terrible Two