Shopping for a Billionaire Quotes

“People who think animals have expressionless faces are like people who can ignore an open package of Oreos. Not quite human.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Marie Jacoby is what all my friends called a MILFF—Mother I’d Like to Flee From.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“You snitch!” It’s 6:45p.m. and I am being held hostage by terrorist extremists with a list of demands that make Al-Qaeda look like preschoolers playing pirate.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“If you’ve never been in a men’s room, and have only set foot in the ladies’ room at most fine (and not so fine) establishments, you need to know this: store owners hate men. No, really—this is the one area where women get treated better. We may earn seventy-seven cents on the dollar compared to men, but, by God, our public bathrooms don’t look like something out of a Soviet-era prison. Or worse—a Sochi hotel during the Olympics.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“It’s not like I could possibly be pregnant. Maybe the cobwebs are in the way…). Did I mention this is my ninth store of the day? I started at 5:30”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Speaking of billionaires, hellllooooo, Christian Grey.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Josh is the company tech expert, which means we all think he’s a little bit shaman, a little bit magician, and mostly a nerd.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“I know, and you know, that I’ve just dropped my smartphone in the toilet, but he thinks the man—he assumes it’s a man—in here just delivered something the size of a two-hundred-year-old turtle into the toilet.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Why is she covered in water?”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Me? A Mendon girl with only a BA who works as a “glorified fast food snitch” just didn’t cut it, so he cut me”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“fault. Speaking of billionaires, hellllooooo, Christian Grey.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Nineteen questions about cleanliness and customer”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“sort. That gave me one hour and eighteen minutes to”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Yep. They’re real. You really can sign on as a mystery shopper with various marketing companies,”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Since being dumped by my ex-boyfriend last year. Steven Michael Raleigh decided that finishing his MBA meant he needed a trophy wife who”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Did I mention this is my ninth store of the day? I started at 5:30 a.m. I’m very, very questioned and cinnamoned”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“Yep. They’re real. You really can sign on as a mystery”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“I’m very, very questioned and cinnamoned out.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“One hundred”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“seventy-four degrees.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“I enter my name”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“That’s Ms. Evil Personified to you, buddy. It really is my job to sit here on a sunny”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“It’s a Monday morning, 9:13 a.m. on the dot, and the counter person, Mark J., takes exactly seventeen seconds to acknowledge my presence. He then offers to”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“I’ve never seen a coyote at the moment its ears pick up the sound of doomed prey, but as I watch Declan watching Steve, I feel like I’m pretty close right now. It’s like When Animals Attack: Boston Brahmin Brawl—coming soon on The Learning Channel, right after Honey Boo Boo!”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire

“If I had echolocation I could map out the terrain of ab muscles through sheer force of will. His cut body is meant to be relief mapped the way Braille is meant to be read. With my fingertips.”
― Julia Kent, Shopping for a Billionaire