Getting to Yes with Yourself Quotes

“I have come to the conclusion that the greatest obstacle to getting what we really want in life is not the other party, as difficult as he or she can be. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“What sustains this “win-lose” mindset is a sense of scarcity, the fear that there is just not enough to go around, so we need to look out for ourselves even at the expense of others.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“If there is a single lesson I have learned, it is this: in life, we are destined to lose many things. That is the nature of life. Never mind. Just don’t lose the present. Nothing is worth it.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“It is so tempting to blame those with whom we are in conflict. Who started the argument, after all, if it wasn’t the other person? Blaming makes us feel innocent. We are the ones who were wronged. We get to feel righteous and even superior. And blaming also nicely deflects any residual guilt we might feel. The emotional benefits are clear. But, as I have witnessed in countless conflicts over the years, the costs of the blame game are huge. It escalates disputes needlessly and prevents us from resolving them. It poisons relationships and wastes valuable time and energy. Perhaps most insidiously, it undermines our power: when we blame others for what is wrong in the relationship—whether it is a marital dispute, an office spat, or a superpower clash—we are dwelling on their power and our victimhood. We are overlooking whatever part we may have played in the conflict and are ignoring our freedom to choose how to respond. We are giving our power away.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Stay in the Zone. It is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“George Bernard Shaw once observed: “People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Jiddu Krishnamurti: “To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Respect is essentially a yes to others, not to their demands, but rather to their basic humanity. In this sense, respect is indivisible. When we give respect to others, we are honoring the very same humanity that exists in us. When we acknowledge the dignity of others, we are acknowledging our own dignity. We cannot truly respect others without respecting ourselves at the same time.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Yet, as beneficial as it can be, giving respect is often a difficult concession for people to make. In a problematic situation or relationship, respect may be the last thing we feel like giving. We may think that they do not deserve our respect and that they need to earn it. They may not be respecting us, so why should we respect them? If we feel rejected, as the union leader did, we naturally reject back. If we feel excluded, we naturally exclude back. If we feel attacked, we attack back. Out of pain, we cause pain. It is a mutually destructive cycle that has no end as I have witnessed countless times from families to businesses to communities to entire societies. The usual results are losses all around.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“To accept our past, it helps to reframe our stories and give a positive meaning to even the most difficult life events. We may have no power to change the past, but we do have the power to change the meaning we assign to it.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Perhaps the biggest obstacle is an internal resistance or no to life as it is: we regret the past, worry about the future, and reject our present circumstances. The key to staying in the zone is to let go of this internal resistance and accept the past, trust the future, and embrace the present, just as they are. The key, in other words, is to say yes to life.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“There is a saying that goes, “If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe our selves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“How many of us can honestly say that we have plumbed the depths of our minds and hearts? How many of us regularly listen to ourselves with empathy and understanding—in the supportive way that a trusted friend can?”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“pain may be inevitable but suffering is optional.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“I used to believe that gratitude for life came from being happy, but I have come to realize that the reverse is also true, perhaps even more so: being happy comes from feeling grateful for life.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Taking responsibility for your life means owning your failures and faults as well as your successes and strengths.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“There may be no better gateway to happiness than cultivating our gratitude.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“The research suggests that, with a few exceptions, major events or traumas that occur even three months earlier have little to no effect on our present happiness. The reason, Gilbert goes on to explain, is that we are able to make our own happiness. We change the way we see the world so that we can feel better.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“H. W. Longfellow, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Winston Churchill once quipped, “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” He went on to say, “I am an optimist. It does not seem much use being anything else.” Trust”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“The bedrock desire then, is a universal one: to be loved and happy. This may seem utterly obvious, but uncovering this universal desire can actually open up a new line of internal inquiry. If you don’t get the raise at the level you want, can you still be happy? Does your happiness depend on the raise—or even on the marriage—or does it come from you, from inside? It is not an idle question. To the extent that you can find a way to experience love and happiness from the inside, you will be more likely to find love and happiness if you get married or if you don’t, if you get the raise or if you don’t.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Once the fight-or-flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to our limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. We forget our purpose and often act exactly contrary to our interests. When we react, we give away our power—our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better. When we react, we are, in effect, saying no to our interests, no to ourselves.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“This inner yes is an unconditionally constructive attitude of acceptance and respect—first toward yourself, then toward life, and finally toward others.”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“Let him who would move the world first move himself. —SOCRATES”
― William Ury, Getting to Yes with Yourself:

“O pessimista vê dificuldade em toda oportunidade. O otimista vê oportunidade em toda dificuldade.”
― William Ury, Como chegar ao sim com você mesmo: O primeiro passo em qualquer negociação, conflito ou conversa difícil