Better Than Before Quotes

“Of the Four Tendencies, Obligers struggle most often against the temptations of loopholes. Rebels don’t make excuses to justify doing what they want; Upholders and Questioners feel a greater pressure from their own inner expectations to resist loopholes. Obligers act when they’re held externally accountable, so they look for loopholes to excuse them from that accountability.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“The Strategy of Safeguards requires us to take a very realistic—perhaps even fatalistic—look at ourselves. But while acknowledging the likelihood of temptation and failure may seem like a defeatist approach, it helps us identify, avoid, and surmount our likely stumbling blocks.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“One thing that continually astonishes me is the degree to which we’re influenced by sheer convenience. The amount of effort, time, or decision making required by an action has a huge influence on habit formation.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they’re finished. For Abstainers, however, the desire for each bite is just as strong as for the first bite—or stronger, so they may want seconds, too.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“It would be impossible for me to eat one square of chocolate a day. For the rest of the day, I’d be thinking about that bar of chocolate. In fact, I discovered that the question “Could you eat one square of chocolate every day?” is a good way to distinguish Abstainers from Moderators. All Moderators seem to keep a bar of chocolate stashed away to eat one square at a time. (Maybe this explains the mystery of why chocolate bars are divided into squares.)”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“I realized that one way to deprive myself without creating a feeling of deprivation is to deprive myself totally.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“How can I deprive myself of something without feeling deprived? When it comes to habits, feeling deprived is a pernicious state. When we feel deprived, we feel entitled to compensate ourselves—often, in ways that undermine our good habits.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Eventually I learned to reject this advice. Somehow, I figured out that it was easier for me to resist certain temptations by never giving in to them.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“This was exactly what I had noticed about the “stopping” aspect of First Steps. When we try a new habit for the first time, it feels full of promise, even if it’s arduous. But most of that excitement is gone the second time, and the habit’s drawbacks are more apparent. Plus, there’s the discouraging feeling of having lost ground, of going backwards. “Hang in there,” I said.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“A reader posted about a more modest change: “I dreaded my dentist appointment because I knew they’d ask how often I floss. It occurred to me that I could just floss every day, and then that question would never bother me. It puzzles me why the solution suddenly became so obvious and so easy in that moment.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“All I did was read a book, and that action unleashed an enormous force: the Strategy of the Lightning Bolt.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Another reason to avoid stopping a good habit is that, sadly, starting again is often far harder than starting the first time. It’s natural to think, “Oh, I did this before, it will be easy to do it again,” but often it’s much harder to start again. True, taking that first step the first time around can be hard, but there’s also a special energy and optimism to launching a new habit. When I’ve tried to summon up the same energy for restarting a lapsed habit, it hasn’t worked very well. The novelty has worn off, I’ve remembered all the reasons I struggle with that habit, and it’s discouraging to feel myself backsliding.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“The fact is, while some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years. We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain strengthens the habit—and any break in the chain marks a potential stopping point.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“For this reason, it’s often worthwhile to invest in systems of accountability. A chief benefit of fitness trainers, financial planners, life coaches, executive coaches, personal organizers, and nutritionists, in addition to their expertise, is the accountability they provide. For Obligers, most of all, this kind of external accountability is absolutely essential.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“A regular work schedule can help procrastinators because progress and engagement relieve their anxiety.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“In one study, when subjects made a shopping list for what they’d eat in a week, more chose a healthy snack instead of an unhealthy snack; when asked what they’d choose now, more people chose the unhealthy over the healthy snack.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Consistency, repetition, no decision—this was the way to develop the ease of a true habit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Scheduling makes us far more likely to convert an activity into a habit (well, except for Rebels), so for that reason, I schedule even some slightly ridiculous habits, such as “Kiss Jamie every morning and every night.” Habits grow strongest and fastest when they’re repeated”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“IF IT’S ON THE CALENDAR, IT HAPPENS”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Are you a morning person or a night person (Lark or Owl)? Do you enjoy spending time outdoors, or do you prefer not to deal with weather? Are you motivated by competition? Do you enjoy exercising to strong music and a driving beat, or do you prefer a quiet background? Do you respond well to some form of external accountability (a trainer, a running group), or is internal accountability sufficient? Do you like to challenge yourself with exercise (learning a new skill, pushing yourself physically), or do you prefer familiar activities? Do you like sports and games? Is it inconvenient for you to take a shower afterward?”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“So where should we start? It’s helpful to begin with habits that most directly strengthen self-control; these habits serve as the Foundation for forming other good habits.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Lack of sleep negatively affects mood, memory, immune function, and pain sensitivity; it makes people more likely to fight with their partners; it contributes to weight gain.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“As the weeks wore on, along with keeping a food journal, I added a new monitoring habit: No seconds. When people preplate their food and eat just one helping, they eat about 14 percent less than when they take smaller servings and return for more helpings.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Aaron Beck, founder of cognitive behavioral therapy, maintains that people find it easy to notice what their partners do wrong, but not what they do right, so he suggests keeping “marriage diaries” to track partners’ considerate behavior; one study showed that 70 percent of couples who did this tracking reported an improved relationship.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“I was reminded of Lord Kelvin’s observation, overbroad but nevertheless thought-provoking: “When you cannot express it in number, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Many strategies help us change our habits, and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“My Current Habits Am I more likely to indulge in a bad habit in a group, or when I’m alone? If I could magically, effortlessly change one habit in my life, what would it be? If the people around me could change one of my habits, what would they choose? Of my existing habits, which would I like to see my children adopt? Or not?”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“What I Value What’s most satisfying to me: saving time, or money, or effort? Does it bother me to act differently from other people, or do I get a charge out of it? Do I spend a lot of time on something that’s important to someone else, but not to me? If I had $500 that I had to spend on fun, how would I spend it? Do I like to listen to experts, or do I prefer to figure things out for myself? Does spending money on an activity make me feel more committed to it, or less committed? Would I be happy to see my children have the life I’ve had?”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“How I Like to Spend My Time At what time of day do I feel energized? When do I drag? Do I like racing from one activity to another, or do I prefer unhurried transitions? What activities take up my time but aren’t particularly useful or stimulating? Would I like to spend more time with friends, or by myself? Do I have several things on my calendar that I anticipate with pleasure? What can I do for hours without feeling bored? What daily or weekly activity did I do for fun when I was ten years old?”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“A promotion-focused person recycles in order to make the environment cleaner; a prevention-focused person recycles in order to avoid getting a fine. Different arguments resonate with different people, and it’s helpful to frame a habit in the way that suits each individual.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives