Better Than Before Quotes

“Things often get harder before they get easier.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“Obligers, however, often dislike their Tendency. They’re vexed by the fact that they can meet others’ expectations, but not their expectations for themselves.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work, are subjects of express volitional deliberation. Full half the time of such a man goes to the deciding, or regretting, of matters which ought to be so ingrained in him as practically not to exist for his consciousness at all.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“Once I’ve spelled out the problem in words, the greater clarity usually helps me to spot a solution.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“Research suggests that when we have conflicting goals, we don’t manage ourselves well. We become anxious and paralyzed, and we often end up doing nothing.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“The very words we choose to characterize our habits can make them seem more or less appealing. "Engagement time sounds more interesting than than "email time"; "playing the piano" sounds more fun than "practicing the piano";”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“One flashy kind of commitment device is the “nuclear option.” A friend who enjoys experimenting with strategies of personal productivity used this approach to quit drinking for sixty days. He gave his assistant a stamped, addressed envelope with a check he’d written to an “anti-charity,” an organization whose policies he passionately opposes, with the instruction to mail the check if he had a drink before the time was up.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“The Habits Manifesto What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong. Focus on actions, not outcomes. By giving something up, we may gain. Things often get harder before they get easier. When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves. We’re not very different from other people, but those differences are very important. It’s easier to change our surroundings than ourselves. We can’t make people change, but when we change, others may change. We should make sure the things we do to feel better don’t make us feel worse. We manage what we monitor. Once we’re ready to begin, begin now.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“A conversation with a Moderator friend revealed another telling distinction. “I got a sundae from my favorite ice-cream store,” she told me, “and it was delicious. But after a while, I could hardly taste it. I let a friend finish it.” “I’ve never left ice cream unfinished in my life,” I said. For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they’re finished. For Abstainers, however, the desire for each bite is just as strong as for the first bite—or stronger, so they may want seconds, too. In other words, for Abstainers, having something makes them want it more; for Moderators, having something makes them want it less.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter Foundation”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

“The fact is, changing a habit is much more challenging if that new habit means altering or losing an aspect of ourselves.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“To achieve greater clarity in my actions, I often invoke a “bright-line rule,” a useful concept from law. A bright-line rule is a clearly defined rule or standard that eliminates any need for interpretation or decision making.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Besides clarity of values, another kind of clarity supports habit formation: clarity of action. The more specific I am about what action to take, the more likely I am to form a habit. A habit to “be more mindful,” for instance, is too vague to be a habit, but “have a moment of gratitude every time I walk into my apartment building” or “take a photo of something interesting every day” are concrete actions that can become habits.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Clarity is one reason that the Strategy of Scheduling is so helpful. It’s important to have time to write; to have time with my family; to read. Instead of spending my day in a chaos of warring priorities, and feeling as though whatever I do I’m leaving important things undone, I can use the clarity of Scheduling to guarantee that I have time and energy to devote to each activity that matters.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Two kinds of clarity support habit formation: clarity of values and clarity of action. The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself—not what other people value, or expect from me—the more likely I am to stick to my habits.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“By helping us to feel energetic and happy, healthy treats can play a key role in fostering good habits, but we must guard against the temptations of unhealthy treats. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, regret, loss of control, and other negative consequences kick in.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“By finding my reward within the habit itself, with a reward that takes me deeper into the habit. If I look outside a habit for a reward, I undermine the habit. If I look within the habit for the reward, I strengthen the habit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Maintaining a healthy weight requires us not to follow a temporary diet, but to change our eating habits forever.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“The second reason rewards pose a danger for habits is that they require a decision. A habit, by my definition, is something we do without decision making.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Drawing on intrinsic motivation makes us far more likely to stick to a behavior, and to find it satisfying.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Although people often assume that cravings intensify over time, research shows that with active distraction, urges—even strong urges—usually subside within about fifteen minutes.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“When we distract ourselves, we purposefully redirect our thoughts, and by doing so, we change our experience. Distraction can help us resist temptation, minimize stress, feel refreshed, and tolerate pain, and it can help us stick to our good habits.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“By catching ourselves in the act of invoking a loophole, we give ourselves an opportunity to reject it, and stick to the habits that we want to foster.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“One-Coin” Loophole: Whether we choose to focus on the single coin or the growing heap will shape our behavior.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Fake Self-Actualization Loophole: Often, a loophole is disguised as an embrace of life or an acceptance of self, so that the failure to pursue a habit seems life-affirming—almost spiritual.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Concern for Others Loophole: We tell ourselves that we’re acting out of consideration for others and making generous, unselfish decisions. Or we decide we must do something in order to fit into a social situation.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“This Doesn’t Count” Loophole: We tell ourselves that for some reason, this circumstance doesn’t “count.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Arranging to Fail Loophole: It’s odd. Instead of fleeing temptation, we often plan to succumb.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“False Choice Loophole: This is the loophole-seeking strategy I most often invoke. I pose two activities in opposition, as though I have to make an either/or decision, when in fact, the two aren’t necessarily in conflict.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

“Tomorrow Loophole: As part of my investigation of First Steps, I’d identified “tomorrow logic.” Now doesn’t matter, because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow.”
― Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives