Letters from a Nut Quotes

“Ted L. Nancy 560 N. Moorpark Rd., #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 July 10th, 1995 MR. ALBERT H. MEYER, PRESIDENT AMERICAN SEATING COMPANY 901 Broadway Grand Rapids, Michigan 49504 Dear Mr. Meyer: I had a seating question and I was referred to you because I understand you manufacture stadium and arena seating. My question: When entering or exiting a seat in a stadium which is the proper side to face the person sitting down? Rear to them or crotch to them? I am always at a quandry when this problem comes up. To hence: last week at a sporting event I had to leave my seat. There were a row of people - ALL FROM THE SAME FAMILY - that were sitting down the row. I exited my seat, stood up and faced away from this family. Then I moved down the row realizing my buttocks were not 2 inches from this whole guy’s family. I had shown an entire family my rear end! But then again If I had turned around and moved down the aisel THAT WAY, wouldn’t that be worse? Stadium seating is the only situation in life where you can show whole rows of people your butt or crotch. And it’s acceptable! Can something be done about this seating? Should the rows be changed? I suggest a single row straight up to the top. You walk into the stadium you simply find your seat number and go up until you get it. Question: Is there a gracious way to exit? Thank you, Sir, for your response. Ted L. Nancy”
― Ted L. Nancy, Letters from a Nut

“I was visiting your hotel recently as part of a semi large to a full mid size group. We are considered a group for entertainment purposes but not considered a group for anything else. In my visit to your hotel, I was distracted, confused and lost from the group.”
― Ted L. Nancy, Letters from a Nut: The Madcap Collection of Twisted Pranks and Hilarious Deadpan Replies